Designer Parents

An architect complains that many of his clients come and ask him to design a house for them, only to let him very speedily discover that they have already designed it all for themselves. What they really want is his sanction of the plan and the satisfaction of seeing him draw on paper the picture of the house they have in mind.

We do something similar when we go before our Creator. We ask Him for wisdom and guidance, but we have already planned how we will build our fortunes and shape our destinies and it is not His way we are seeking, but His approval of our way.

God as an Intelligent Designer, and has so designed the family. He is the Architect of the family. God has structured the family along with clear-cut lines of authority and responsibility.

Many have attempted to create “designer families” and as a result, their homes are caving in like a dilapidated building. Many have disregarded God's blueprints for their marriages and as a result have marriages that are falling to pieces.

Society has rejected the Biblical meaning of marriage; the family unit has been redefined; gender roles have been blurred and attempts are being made to totally obliterate male and female distinctions. Many of the problems that we are observing in our society are the result of side-stepping God's design and order.

God is the Architect of marriage. He is the Designer of the family and has given parents their roles and responsibilities. The Bible says in Psalm 127:1, "Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it…"

In our message called Designer Parents, we are going to look at God's design for parents and we are taking our text from the Apostle Paul's letter to the Ephesian church, chapter 6.

(Eph 6:4 NKJV) And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Someone has called this "a crash-course in parenting." The Apostle Paul has laid out the instructions in negative and positive terms and we are going to look at both.

The negative is this, "Do not provoke your children to anger." That’s how the Word of God sums up what you don’t want to do.

* You don’t want to make your children mad.

* You don’t want to make them angry.

* You don’t want to make them hostile or bitter.

* You don’t want them to turn against you and all that you hold dear.

Colossians 3:21 adds, "Lest they be discouraged." You don’t want to destroy them. You don't want to break their spirits.

Provoke is the Greek word: parorgizo, par-org-id'-zo and means, “to anger alongside,” i.e. “to enrage” or “to provoke to wrath.” It is used only in Ephesians 6:4 and in Romans 10:19… and it means "to irritate." It’s an intense form of "to make angry."

God is telling the parent, “Don’t do that which irritates them, provokes them, frustrates them, exasperates them, or embitters them.” And there is a lot of that being done today—parents who are producing angry, irritated and bitter children.

Attitudes of anger and bitterness are being passed from one generation to another. Parents are passing legacies of hurt, bitterness, frustration and anger to their children.

One such “child” that has made a marked impact on this current generation of young people is the rapper called Eminem. In his song, Cleaning Out My Closet, he raps the following to his mother (I’ve sanitized the language):

Now I would never dis my own mama just to get recognition.

Take a second to listen for you think this record is dissin,'

But put yourself in my position.

Just try to envision witnessin' your Mama

poppin' prescription pills in the kitchen,

cussen' that someone's always goin' through her purse and stuffs missin.'

Going through public housing systems, victim of Munchausen's syndrome.

My whole life I was made to believe I was sick

when I wasn't 'til I grew up, now I blew up.

It makes you sick to ya stomach, doesn't it?

Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me, Ma?

So you could try to justify the way you treated me, Ma?

But guess what, yer gettin' older now and it's cold when your lonely.

…

See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong.

Woman, do ya song. Keep tellin' yourself that you was a mom.

But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get.

You selfish woman, I hope you…burn in hell for this stuff.

Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?

Well, guess what, I am dead. Dead to you as can be.

I'm sorry, Mama. I never meant to hurt you.