Dealing With Family Squabbles

A. A FAMILY WILL FIGHT THAT NEVER TALKS TOGETHER

1. Jacob schemes to get the birthright, i.e., to be the spiritual head.

2. Isaac, Rebekah and children didn’t communicate.

a. Isaac didn’t talk to wife about pregnancy (25:21).

b. Rebekah didn’t talk about physical problems (25:26).

c. Did parents know Jacob’s birthright (25:33)?

d. Did parents talk about who would inherit the money (blessing) (27:12)?

Why Children Fight

• Selfish, want what the other has

• Jealous, thinks a parent loves the other more

• Natural, obey their lower lust

• Callous, don’t think of the other

• Greedy, children fight when money is on the table

• Satan manipulated, he uses their evil to harm both

“Isaac thought he was going to die, so he told Esau his favorite son to prepare his favorite meal so the family inheritance could be officially bestowed on him. But his wife Rebekah over heard the conversation and planned to get the money for Jacob her favorite. She planned to cook her husband’s favorite sauce and serve it with baked goat. Jacob questioned the plan saying, his brother was hairy and he was smooth. Rebekah sewed hairy gloves and a vest to deceive her husband. When Jacob brought the food, Isaac had some doubts. First he asked how his son did it so quickly, second he wanted to touch his skin, and third he wanted to smell so he kissed his son. Then, Isaac pronounced an irrevocable pledge and blessing for God to make Jacob the source of prosperity and for his brother to serve him.”

B. THE DECEPTION WORKED

1. Isaac probably has diabetes, “eyes dim” (27:1), feebly old and think of dying.

2. Choice made on Esau’s strength, “Go kill some venison” and his personal preference, “savory meat . . . which I love” (27:34). Your preference is not always God’s will.

3. No family unity, each looking out for self.

4. Isaac plans to give the family money to his favorite – Esau. “Bless you before I die” (27:4).

5. Rebekah plans to get money for her favorite – Jacob (27:12).

6. Jacob’s doubts.

a. My brother is hairy and I am smooth” (27:11, ELT).

b. Failure. “I will be cursed and not blessed” (28:12, ELT).

7. Her plans to deceive.

a. She would cook. “Two young goats . . . I will prepare a spicy sauce he loves” (27:4, ELT)

b. She will sew. “Put skin upon his hands . . . and neck” (28:16, ELT).

8. What is a lie? Mislead

9. Why is a lie wrong?

a. Makes the other do wrong.

b. Weakens your self’s perception.

c. Violates God. “Thou salt not bear false witness” (Ex. 20:16). The ninth commandment.

10. A bold face lie. “I am Esau, thy first born, I have done according as thou badest me” (27:19).

11. Jacob wants the money quick. “Arise . . . eat . . . bless me” (27:19).

12. Isaac has doubts.

a. Time. “How did you prepare it so quickly?” (27:20).

b. Come close to feel (27:21).

c. Sneaky. “Voice is Jacob’s, but the hands are Esau” (27:22).

d. Smell. “Kiss me . . . he smelled” (27:26-27).

13. What’s the principle? If it’s doubtful – don’t. “He who doubts is condemn and if he goes ahead . . . whatever is done without faith is sin” (Rom. 14:23, ELT).

14. The blessing.

a. Inheritance of family possessions.

b. The source of prosperity. “Dew of heaven and fatness of the earth” (27:28).

c. The authority for family decisions (executor of the will). “Master over your brothers” (27:29).

15. Isaac is convicted. “Isaac trembled exceedingly” (27:33).

a. Rebuked he knew he should not have blessed Esau.

b. Corrected he knew Jacob got the blessing he was supposed to get.

16. Esau slain by two-edged sword. “He took away my birthright (family spiritual head) and now; he has taken away my blessing (inheritance)” (27:36).

17. Esau gets secondary blessing.

a. You will get money.

b. You will live by sword (anger and vengeance)

c. You will be restless (27:39-40).

18. Esau doesn’t get money so plans to get even. “Then I will kill my brother Jacob” (27:41).

19. Again Rebekah hears and plans for Jacob’s safety. “Flee to my brother” (27:43).

20. Rebekah’s punishment, she has to put up with Esau’s wives. “They are about to kill me” (27:42).

C. SEVEN PRINCIPLES TO AVOID FAMILY SQUABBLES

1. Mom and Dad must talk about their problems.

2. Mom and Dad must understand their kid’s weaknesses and strengths.

3. Mom and Dad must talk about kid’s disagreements.

4. Don’t play favorites.

5. Don’t let the kids play one parent against the other.

6. After a confrontation – talk.

7. Yield to God’s will and God’s plan.

If you have never really accepted Jesus as your personal Savior, would you do it right now? Do not delay or put it off. If you would like to receive Christ by faith, pray this simple prayer in your heart: