Covenant Love

Covenant love requires self-sacrifice. And self-sacrifice is something that we do not live in a self-centered world. We live in the kind of world that's described in 2 Timothy chapter 3:2. It says, "Men will be lovers of themselves". And if you're going to have a covenant relationship, the first thing you've got to do is deny yourself. And that's not just a masculine denial: that's the feminine denial. Both have to submit to what God wants to accomplish if it's going to work. A father can't look at his family as if they're a burden for him to carry. A mother cannot look at her family as if it's an inconvenience. They're a gift. That's why the Bible says, "The children are an inheritance of the Lord". Every day you should celebrate what God has given you in your household. Jesus Christ is our example. He said, "Love one another as I have loved you". That's not a recommendation: that's a command.

So how did he love us? First, he loved us completely. Say that word with me. Completely. What does it mean to love completely? It means that Jesus loved us, even the worst parts of us. There are things that I love about all kinds of people. If I had an accountant, I would love the fact that my accountant can do math. I may not love his hair. But when you love somebody completely, it doesn't matter, good, bad, or ugly: you love everything about them. I'm thankful that Jesus Christ loved me completely: that when I was a sinner, He gave Himself for me. Knowing the worst about me, He still wants me. So, if He's our example, that's how you should love your spouse, completely, not just the good parts, but everything.

This is what we say during the wedding vows: we say, "For better or..." Oh, some of y'all remember that one? We say, "In JOY! Or sorrow (sigh). RICHER! (YAY!) Or..." Ooh, that sigh got REAL loud! And the thing is we smile during the wedding ceremony when we recite these vows, because you can tell that the two people who are reciting them are only thinking about half the equation. They're only thinking about health, joy, and rich. Because if they weren't, they would go, "For BETTER! Or worse (sigh). JOY! (OH, YES LORD!) Or sorrow, (if I have to. double sigh) RICHER! (OH, YES LORD, I'D LIKE ME SOME RICHER!) Or poor (I'd rather have richer, Lord. Argh.) And when the other half of that equation shows up in the marriage, you say, "I didn't sign up for this". That's not sacrificial love. That's not loving completely. Loving completely says it doesn't matter what we go through, I'm with you.

There are a lot of people, who decide that they're going love somebody when they get everything right. That's not how Christ loved you and it's not how He calls you to love your spouse. You have a choice to make. Love like Christ did or be self-centered. Love them while they're a work in progress, knowing that in that love, you give them the ability to accomplish great things. What are you speaking to your spouse? Sacrificial love speaks life even when there's not much to say. Christ loved us completely. Christ loved us sacrificially. And Christ loved us in our hour of need. Husbands, we have a responsibility to see the needs of our wives and meet those needs. This is what the Bible teaches. It's a game of mutual submission. "You, husband, submit to the need of your wife". "You, wife, submit to the leadership of your husband".