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Conflict Resolution Series
Contributed by Michael Monica on Jan 1, 2023 (message contributor)
Summary: Understanding Conflict Resolution
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[Introduction: Frivolous Lawsuits]
(1) Stella Liebeck vs. McDonald’s (1994)
a. She sued McD’s after spilling a cup of hot coffee in her lap; she sustained 3 degree burns and McD’s had already received more than 700 complaints about their coffee being too hot but they continued to serve it at more than 40 degrees higher than most other restaurants!
(2) Rosenberg vs. Google Maps (Utah, 2009)
a. Rosenberg sued Google Maps for more than $100,000 because it advised her walk along a freeway and when she did, she was hit by a car!
(3) Overton vs. Anheuser-Busch (Michigan 1993)
a. He sued them for false advertisement after he drank a 6-pack of bud light and it failed to produce visions of beautiful women on a sandy beach and he sued them for 10,000 for emotional distress.
[Context]
Jesus is teaching his disciples and giving them life – lessons in connection it their question about who will be the greatest in the kingdom!
Jesus presents a child to them and tells them they must become like a child:
(1) Absolute Dependence:
o Kids are OK with absolute dependence whereas when we get older, we gravitate towards independence. My son can’t feed himself that well. And he’s okay with that. He can’t reach things. Remember B used to go potty and then she went back to wanting/needing us to go with her. Kids will ask and beg for the same thing OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. That’s OK!! My kids trust me to take care of them! Trust God to take care of YOU!
(2) Absolute Faith:
o Ask Questions! Some people say, “God’s says it, I believe it, that settles the matter.!” Jesus is okay with your questions. In fact, God himself said “Let us reason together.” (Isaiah 1:18)
(3) Don’t lose and don’t forget about the wonder life brings.
(4) Matthew 18:4 – Be content with who you are and your place. Trust God is looking out for you!
Next, Jesus talks about temptations and tells us that whatever it is that causing us to sin, get rid of it!
(1) If you eye causes you to sin, gouge it out.
(2) If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off.
(3) If your foot causes you to sin, cut it off.
(4) Whatever is leading you closer to temptation, remove it from your life.
The Lost Sheep
(1) Jesus then tells us that his Father searches out the one lost sheep in the midst of having 99. Jesus is showing us the extent to which the Father will go to reach us.
[The Way of Jesus]
(1) If / when someone sins against you, go to him in private! (One on One)
a. Consider this: How can someone sin against us if we are not the standard of good? This means that we are upset/angry when someone does something wrong because the image of God in us is being attacked. This is further evidence that we were created in perfection.
(2) Next, if they are unrepentant, take 1-2 other people with you. (Two on One)
(3) Next, if they are unrepentant, bring the issue to the church. (Church Council on One)
Jesus' advice about conflict resolution in these passages can be boiled down to four simple principles that I am convinced would help resolve 99 percent of the conflicts you are experiencing with other people. They are so short and simple we can say them out loud.
(1) Resolve issues quickly (Ephesians 4:26)
a. If we allow issues to fester, they always make the issues bigger.
b. When Cain became angry with his brother Abel, God responded and intervened immediately. God’s request was that Cain take note that there was unresolved sin in his life and he had to master sin or sin would master him.
c. James 4:1 – 2 – This is why we are fighting!
d. Ephesians 6:12 – We don’t’ fight each other, we fight sin!
(2) Begin conflict resolution one on one (1 John 4:20)
a. We must keep the conflict between ourselves and those directly related.
b. Don’t bring others into your conflict. (My daughter is at a stage in her life where she tattles on her brother. Now, they are young and my wife and I need to be the mentors / life coaches / referees but one thing we need to teach our kids is when they have issues with someone else (including brother / sister),
(3) Resolves issues in person (face to face):
a. We live in a society where we are moving farther and farther away from face to face communication / contact.
b. Face to face used to be the only way; then we invented handwriting and then telephone. Then came along email and smart phones.