Clarity And Compassion

The joys of raising kids are also, at times, challenging. I remember when Abby was just 10 years old; we were at Schlotzky's. A man came up to her, that I had known, and he said, “You sure are a cutie! Who’s your boyfriend? Who do you like?” She was embarrassed, had a red face. I was about to punch him. It was that awkward situation where several things were going on, and he walked out the door. As we got in the car and were talking, Abby said, “Daddy, can I ask you something?” Our rule in our home is there is nothing we can’t talk about. Everything is fair game. If mom and dad respond wrong, you can call us on that, and we will work it through. Everything is fair game.

She said, “Daddy, when that man talked to me, I had a picture in my mind and a thought that was really sexual, what do I do with that?” I said, “Sweetie, are you OK?” She said, “No, I don’t know what to do.” She talked about this picture she had in her mind. I said, “What do you think?” She said, “I know it’s terrible, I don’t want it, Daddy.” Then she paused, and said, “But, Daddy, there’s something in me that also likes it. What do I do?”

I said, “Sweetie, that is called sin. And I have had those same thoughts and wondered what to do with it and have been conflicted myself at times.” We talked about it and I told her it was sin because that’s not the way God created her. He created her for a man, and for the context of marriage and a future and not at 10 years old. But what do we do with those thoughts? I said, “It’s not the thought that makes you sinful, it is what you do with the thought. Let’s go to Jesus.” So we got down on our knees together, and went to Jesus with the stuff that came her way. We gave it to Him and said, “Jesus, replace it with Your goodness and Your loving-kindness. We want to be satisfied in you. We don’t want the things of this world to distract our hearts.” It was a defining moment in our relationship. It was a defining moment in Abby’s life, where she would stay true to honor God with her thoughts, deeds and actions until the day she was married.

In that moment, two things happened as a father. I was clear that this is sin. But I was compassionate with the journey as God had been compassionate with me. Clarity and compassion, that is the heart of God to keep us in the way that He has designed and created us. Let’s begin from the beginning on this message of clarity and compassion.

Genesis 1:27-28 “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’”

God was clear from the beginning: He created us in His image and called us male and female. It was good and right. In the male side, he created masculinity with what was needed to represent who He is. Not only was it good, but it was needed. He created female and feminine side and said it is right and good. It was perfect for Him and they were perfect for one another. He created it just as it should be.

The phrase goes on, and He blessed them. He blessed them. There was the sense of rightness from God. He had let them know they were valuable and worth. He honored them. “You are woman. You are man. You are good and it is right. I celebrate who you are.” And they had that sense of knowing all was right because my Father has said so.

Kids are always looking for the blessing. When you grow up, a little kid will say, “Watch me, Daddy! Watch me jump!” and the dad always celebrates and says how awesome their kid is. They are looking for affirmation for the littlest things in life, because they are wondering “Am I OK?” I remember when Abby was around four or five, she asked me the simple question, “Daddy, are you proud of me?” It broke my heart. I thought why does she have to ask that? I listed all the ways I am proud of her, even down to I think she’s sweet, beautiful and merciful and I hugged her and told her how much I loved her. I could see a smile come on her face and a sense of “I am okay.”