An Imperfect Father

*An Imperfect Father*

Bible Reading: Luke 11:11

Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?

There is no such thing as a perfect father; every father has his shortcomings. However, I believe that every father certainly has the desire to become a perfect father—there is not a single father who wants to be a bad father. He wants to make his family happy, especially his children. He works hard with the goal of giving the best for his children. Yet, because no human is perfect and we are limited in many ways, sometimes a father feels like he has failed to give the best to his child, even though he has already tried his best.

Because every father always wants to give the best to his children, we may sometimes be surprised when we see a father who is still healthy and young but refuses to take responsibility for his children.

How Can One Become a Perfect Father?

The Bible does not provide a specific recipe for becoming a perfect father, but from the experiences of various biblical figures, we can learn and take some of the best processes for becoming a perfect father:

There are six important points that I have summarized with the word: F.A.T.H.E.R

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I. Forgiving – A Father Who Forgives

No father hates his child. Every father surely loves his child, just like a mother does. Luke records that a father would never give a snake to his child if he asks for bread. This means that no matter how bad a father is, he still loves his children. Especially a good father—he certainly loves his children.

In Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son, we see clearly that the younger son was very disrespectful; he asked for his inheritance while his father was still alive. For Asians, this is considered taboo—it means the child is wishing his father would die soon. Luke 15:11-32 records that, after receiving the money, the younger son quickly left for a distant place and squandered it all until he was completely broke. Only after he was bankrupt did he realize his mistake and decided to return home to his father. The father did not hate him, nor did he bring up his past mistakes, but welcomed him back. The father forgave his son’s mistakes and received him not as a servant, but as his son.

Forgiving is not an act of justice, but an act of love and grace. Forgiving does not mean the father forgets what the younger son did, but out of love and mercy, he chooses not to remember or bring up his son’s wrongdoing. This kind of fatherly action is what we call a perfect father.

A perfect father is one who forgives his children. May I ask, do you have issues with your children?

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II. Armor of God – A Father Who Equips Himself with God’s Armor

A father’s advice and wisdom are not enough if he only has high knowledge; he must also have strong spirituality. The story of Job in raising his children is a great example. As a father, every morning he would pray for his children, asking God to forgive their sins. Job used the weapon of prayer before God, pleading for mercy for his children.

Job had ten children, and every night they would take turns holding feasts until late at night. After each feast, Job would call his children, and the next morning he would offer burnt sacrifices, thinking that his children might have sinned and cursed God in their hearts (see Job 1:5b).

Job, as a father, always provided guidance through God’s word to his children.

How about fathers today? Are you the kind of father who only equips your children with material things? Do you think that material things alone are enough to make your children good?

III. Teacher – A Father Who Educates His Children

A spiritual father does not necessarily pass on his spirituality to his children. Today, we see a “gap” or a divide between generations of believers: the father loves God deeply, but the children do not go to church at all. Why does this happen? These children are not from broken homes; their needs are well taken care of by their parents. However, the problem is that only worldly matters are given attention, such as finances, vehicles, housing, vacations. Many parents rarely, or even never, pay attention to their children’s spiritual lives—they prioritize education instead.

The names Elkanah and Hannah are examples of a family that gave great attention to the spiritual upbringing of their children. The Bible records that they were successful parents, raising their son Samuel to be used by God in an extraordinary way. Samuel was used by God as a prophet who later anointed Saul and David to become kings of Israel (see 1 Samuel 1–2).