A Mother's Love

When I was pretty young I remember a family, in a neighborhood near ours, that we had to drive through to get to the store, a family that had a lot of problems. They had a lot of kids, maybe 7 or 8. Their house wasn’t very big. They just sort of poured out into the yard and the neighborhood a lot. And then the father was killed in an auto accident. And they didn’t have much money even when he was there. And the mother was about at the end of her rope trying to hold it all together. And I remember it was a bit ragged down there.

Once, when my birthday came, I remember my mother insisted that I invite the boy from that family who was about my age. I don’t think I had ever played with him. Mostly we just drove by their house on the way to the store. But my mother hurt for them and wanted to do that little thing for them.

I remember that some of his Kool-Aid went down the wrong pipe and he sprayed it all over my plate. But that was OK. He needed to be there.

And the kids I liked to be with, who lived close by, the Shelhamers and the Faulkners, my Mom almost adopted them. They were her kids, too.

God’s love is like that. He loves it when his family gets together like we are here. And it can feel so good to get a bunch of friends at church and visit every week. But then we are just here for us. God’s heart breaks to broaden the circle, to bring others into the blessing, people whose lives may be a bit ragged, or people who share different tastes. But they are precious in God’s sight. And if we are learning to live in agape love, they’ll be precious to us, too.

But I also remember that my mother knew how to let us know when we misbehaved. I remember the evening I punched my little brother in the mouth. She figured I was too old to spank, but I got sent right to my room and I knew I had done wrong. She loved us so much that she worked very hard to teach us boundaries.

God’s love is like that. We call it covenantal love. He is very up front about how much he loves us and what he wants to do for us. But he also is very clear about what he expects of us. And it’s not that he is only demanding for his own sake. He has high hopes for us, the highest. And so he disciplines us when we stray, not to hurt us, but to teach us. Agape love works for the best.

God’s love is nothing like the insipid tolerance of our world today that just sits back and lets everybody do their own thing, even when it’s a destructive thing. God loves us enough to tell us when we are wrong, to even get angry when we hurt ourselves. He wants the very best for us.

And so he gave us our scripture for today, calling us to be like him, to walk in love. Eros love, which only asks ‘what’s in it for me’ is an unstable foundation for a family or a church. Philia love, which says ‘I’ll go halfway, I’ll give, but only if I get something back’, is better, but falls far short. God calls us to a love like a good mother, a love like his own, agape love, which gives without keeping score, which is always looking to expand the circle of love, which gives wisely, maintaining the boundaries of what behavior is really constructive and avoiding behaviors that hurt. Brothers and sisters in Christ, “be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” AMEN