How To Relate Wisely With Others Series

HOW TO RELATE WISELY TO OTHERS

Growing Up Rather Than Giving Up - Part 9

James 3:13-18

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Every day you encounter many different kinds of people. Some are very delightful. Some are very difficult. Some of them are inspiring. Some of them are irritating, fascinating, intimidating. The fact is, a lot of the problems we have in life is because of personality conflicts. We don’t get along with people. When your relationships are bad, life stinks. Life is miserable. You may have lots of money and lots of opportunities but if your relationships are bad, you’re miserable. How many of you have ever felt like giving up and walking out on a relationship simply because you could not relate or get along with a person. It’s very important that we learn how to get along with other people.

James gives some practical advice. Today we’re going to look at what he has to say about, How do we relate wisely to other people. v. 18 is the key verse, "And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness." James says, every day in every relationship, you’re planting seeds. Seeds of anger, jealousy, peace, confidence, insecurity, many different kinds of seeds. So you will inevitable reap in your relationships. How can I plant seeds of peace? How can I be a peacemaker? How can I have peaceful relationships?

Wisdom. We need to learn how to be wise in the way we act toward people. Often we treat people in very foolish ways and we provoke the exact opposite behavior of what we would normally like to see in them. Common sense is not so common. A lot of smart people are not too wise. They may be educated but they don’t have wisdom. They may have all kinds of degrees but they’re a wash out with relationships. James, in this passage, does three things: he defines real wisdom, then he shows how it differs from human wisdom, then he details how it operates.

The first thing he says in v. 13, is that:

· Wisdom Is A Lifestyle.

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· It has nothing to do with your intelligence. It has everything to do with your relationships and your character. "Who is wise and understanding among you. Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom." Imagine James coming into our church and asking, "May I see the hands of those who are wise?" If you would raise your hand he would say, "Prove it! Show me. Show me your wisdom by your lifestyle." It’s not a matter of what you say with your lips but a matter of what you live with your life. Not a matter of your words but of your works. Not so much the diplomas on the wall, but your disposition that really shows how wise you are. How do you get along with other people? That shows how wise you really are. It’s a lifestyle. Wisdom is applying the knowledge you have to every day life in building better and stronger relationships. Therefore it is more than just knowing the facts, you can know the facts and never apply them. In other words be ye doers of the word and not hearers only. You can know right from wrong, That’s knowledge, Wisdom is applying that knowledge to your life in order to make a positive impact on how you live your life in a proper relationship with others.

· The Sources Of Wisdom

· 14 "If you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart don’t boast about it and deny the truth. Such `wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, even of the devil.

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· Verse 17 Say’s the wisdom that comes from above.

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· There are two sources of wisdom. One is demonic in nature the other is Divine in nature. One comes from below the other comes from above. If you are to build better and stronger relationships you must operate in Godly wisdom, wisdom from above. If you are going to live a better life you must live life with the Godly wisdom that’s from above.

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· Proverbs 14:12 There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the ends thereof are death.

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· When you operate your life by Godly wisdom the results will be positive and life long and Honoring to God.

Verses 14-16 James says:

· Lack Of Godly Wisdom Causes Problems

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· all kinds of problems. v. 14 "If you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart don’t boast about it and deny the truth. Such `wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, even of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition there you find disorder and every evil practice." The KJV say’s confusion, which means disorder and instability. Lack of wisdom causes all kinds of disorder and problems, and chaos. Do you have confusion in your home? Do you have chaos at work? Is your life a mess? If you can’t get it all together you lack wisdom. It causes all kinds of problems in our lives.