Struggling To Believe Series

“Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord.’ But he said to them, ‘Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.’

“Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’ Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.’ Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’ Jesus said to him, ‘Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.’” [1]

Dorothy was a wonderful Christian who had become a close friend to our family. Early in her walk with the Saviour, she had struggled with doubt so severe that she had been hospitalized. She couldn’t understand why God would want to save her; and consequently, she had often questioned whether she could even be saved. She knew she was a sinner, and she knew that she couldn’t be good enough to be accepted by Christ. And yet, she wanted to believe the Saviour when He said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” [MATTHEW 11:28-30].

Telling Lynda and me about how she resolved her doubts, Dorothy asserted, “I just came to the point that I said out loud, ‘God if you won’t have me, then I’m not gonna’ worry any more, ‘cause I just cain’t be saved by myself. If you save me, I’ll serve you.” This was a prayer from her wounded heart, and her life subsequent to this prayer demonstrated that the Lord had heard her cry. From that point, she said she never worried again. The accumulated torments from years of wondering whether she was good enough and questioning why God would want to save her had left her deeply wounded until she simply gave up trying to understand why God accepted her.

Perhaps someone listens who questions why God would ever want anything to do with you. You see yourself as a sinner, as someone who is undesirable, as someone who is repulsive. You struggle to believe what God has said. You need to hear again the clear statement of Scripture, “We walk by faith, not by sight” [2 CORINTHIANS 5:7]. The initiation of our walk with the Saviour is by faith, and throughout the days of our spiritual journey we are walking with the Master by faith. And down to final day when we at last exit this life entering into glory, we will walk by faith. Jesus encouraged His disciples, “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also” [JOHN 14:1-3].

Perhaps your doubt is severe, or perhaps it is just something that only rises to the level of conscious thought occasionally, but I daresay that doubt has touched every one of us at one time or another. Few Christians can say that they have never experienced doubt concerning the grace of God or concerning His mercy. And yet, despite whatever trials we face, God is faithful and His people persevere, just as He promised.

SEEING IS BELIEVING! OR IS IT? “I’ll believe it when I see it!” is a declaration that expresses a common sentiment.. But is it true? We have five classical senses—touch, smell, taste, vision, and hearing. Assessing what is true, what is memorable, involves all the senses at various times and in various combinations. But the senses can be fooled! We delight in watching an accomplished magician as he or she engages in entertaining us with legerdemain or through astonishing us with what is purported to be psychic abilities. However, though we cannot explain how we were fooled, we know that we have been fooled; and the knowledge that we are deceived coupled with our inability to explain how it happened is what delights us.

Though some deception can be amusing, in other instances deception can be destructive. Obviously, people can be deceived, and the wicked one is a master at deceiving unwary souls. We know that our first mother was deceived, and the consequences for all mankind continues to this day. In his first letter to Timothy, presenting the reason women are not to serve as elders, the Apostle reminds the young pastor, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor” [1 TIMOTHY 2:12-14].