Teaching Your Children To Give Honor Series

Mother’s Day Tributes

SLIDES

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.

-George Washington

Life began with waking up and loving my mother’s face.

-George Eliot

There never was a woman like her. She was gentle as a dove and brave as a lioness... The memory of my mother and her teachings were, after all, the only capital I had to start life with, and on that capital I have made my way.

-Andrew Jackson

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

-Groucho Marx

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

-Spanish proverb

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me but I think she enjoyed it.

-Mark Twain

Teaching Your Children to Give Honor

What’s wrong with the world... People livin’ like they ain’t got no mamas.

THE BLACK EYED PEAS

This morning we are going to deal with the issue of respect – honor given to our parents.

It is important. It is Godly. It is the 5th commandment – with a promise.

Honor your mother and father is the command.

Why? Let me give you three powerful arguments for why you should obey this commandment.

The First Reason to Obey the 5th Commandment

It doesn’t come natural for children. As we read the next passage of scripture together, I want you to notice how the command for children respect and the command for parents teach it are linked.

So how do you respect your teenage son who just lied to you...again?

How do you respond to your daughter when you say, "I love you" and the response a flippant, "That’s nice"?

What do you do with a kid that seems bent on being sarcastic and flip about everything serious and who fights you on all things Godly.

It begins – this may not seem logical – with you granting them respect – and trust. More than anything else, your adolescent craves your total trust.

Author Fritz Ridenour says, "You might as well trust your teenager; you don’t have any other reasonable choice. Distrust simply breeds more distrust, but if you keep trusting your teenager, sooner or later the message will get through."

If the thought of extending more trust scares you, then somewhere along the way, the natural trust that exists between parent and child has been damaged or lost.

How did it happen? Will it happen again?

Five Trust Busters (By Claudia Arp)

A single mistake

Have you ever said to your adolescent, "If I can’t trust you in this area, how can I trust you in other areas?" In truth, trust is not a one-time gift. It must be given again from time to time. Refusing to reinvest your trust, totally blocks your child from rebuilding it.

Important tip: When a serious breech of trust has occurred, quickly establish a path back and a restoration time line. Try saying, "This has been a real learning situation, and I feel you’re learning the importance of being open and honest with us. That’s real progress. Let’s continue to work together on this, and I believe we can rebuild the trust between us."

Judging guilt without a fair trial

Knowing your child as well as you do often predisposes parents to assume the worst in a situation before all the facts are known. Do you honestly see your child as innocent until proven guilty? Everyone deserves a fair hearing.

Lack of freedom

Certainly trust must be earned, but your child cannot prove to be trustworthy unless some real freedom is given to make decisions.

Reciting failures

Recalling your teenager’s past failures in the heat of a confrontation, is self-defeating. It only proves that the forgiveness you said, and believe you had extended, wasn’t real at all.

Parental evasion of the problem

Whether it is lying or sneaking or any of many other problem behaviors, focus squarely on the conduct itself instead of immediately moving to the larger issue of trust. Instead of saying, "How can I trust you when you are continually lying to me?" try saying, "Look, we want to build our relationship, not tear it down. It would help tremendously if I could count on you being honest with me. How about for the next 24 hours, I’ll try not to attack you, and you try to stick to the truth."

Trusting Again: Psychologist Norm Wright, advises: "It might be nice if you could get your adolescent to promise in writing not to betray your trust. But it would only be a piece of paper. As in any love relationship you have to risk being hurt. That’s the price of saying, ’I still love you.’"