Never Hurt Your Mate’s Reputation Or The Family Finances Series

Social networking has taken the 21st century by storm. Whether it is Facebook, Twitter or one of the myriad of others, it has been a force for much good. Beside the personal benefits these sites offer, they have been used in creative and amazing ways for the things of God as well. Of course, with anything that is so wildly popular, you can be sure that it’s going to be, at times, used for that which is negative.

One such negative outgrowth has been the springing up of things called, “revenge websites.” This is where someone, for a fee, can basically destroy the reputation of another person by airing private information to millions of people. The information these bitter people post doesn’t have to be factual. They can say almost anything. Besides slander and gossip, they put up phone numbers, addresses, where they work, what kind of car they drive, bank account numbers…you name it, they will put up anything and everything. The whole goal of these sites is to assist someone in destroying another person. Typically, this is a person that at one time they loved and cared for. Any reasonable person knows that God would never honor this kind of character assassination. The thought behind this illustration is this, though Christian husbands and wives love each other, sadly at times, I believe they do things purposely to hurt the other person. In this scriptural passage, God is reminding us that when we enter in to the covenant of marriage, we are saying in effect, “I will never hurt the reputation of my mate, or the family finances.”

Let’s take principles from this passage that seem to deal with marriage.

In the 31st chapter of Proverbs, there are actually 22 verses that correspond to the 22 letters in the Hebrew alphabet, which is similar to some of the passages in Psalms. It is thought that the reasoning behind the alphabetical numbering of these particular verses about a virtuous woman was to create an easy-to-remember poetical song that a young man could use to readily access marital compatibility guidelines. It is a compilation of what King Lemuel’s mother taught him about assessing character. Of course, nearly everything that’s stated about the qualities of a good woman can certainly be applied to the husband. I was in the car talking with one of my grandchildren and said, “Did you learn your ABC’s today?” He said, “yes” and then began to sing the familiar melodic song, “A B C D E F G…” Maybe that’s what King Lemuel’s mother did. From an early age she would say, “Alright, you’re going to sing with me. Here’s the kind of a woman that you want to marry.” She would then sing alphabetically of these attributes. From the very start of his life, she built this little marriage acrostic into his mind.

There Are at Least 4 Principles of a Good Marriage Found in This Passage:

1. Husbands and Wives Should Purpose to Be a Blessing to Each Other

It is very important to note that a husband or wife of the highest Christian caliber wishes that their mate’s needs are being met. And not just met, but extraordinarily so! A good woman says to herself, “I am going to do this man right; I’m going to make sure that he is cared for, honored and loved.” The same thing would be true for a husband. He purposes that his wife’s basic needs would be met. That is her need of security, provision and protection. Good Christians care about each other. Good Christians care that their relationship is in good repair. A good Christian says it’s not enough that we just exist and just live, we want a relationship that is full of peace and enjoyment.

Notice that it is the “heart” of the husband that is trusting in his wife. God wants us to take care of each other’s physical needs, but also to care about the heart of our mate. It is a fact that when we get married, we have to make money. We have to protect our family in the world. We have to try to navigate this present society. As you get married, it becomes your responsibility to make sure you care for them, “But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:33). But while physically caring for one another is the right thing, God clearly states that in great marriages, it is not just merely a physical thing, it also how he may “please” her.

This is more than providing for the needs of the home only, but above the necessities, to the very pleasing of the wife. Husbands, you need to make sure that her mind, her body AND her emotions are all pleased. She is her own woman, yes! And he is his own man, yes! But God states that the day that you signed on for marriage is the day that, even though you are an individual, you now have a whole new mindset, and that is to care for the things of your husband and wife, “…The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:34). The day that a woman gets married, she then begins to have a new focus. It’s no longer just about her. It is no longer about her career. It’s no longer even about the ministry…it’s about her husband! The same holds true for a husband investing in his wife. Tragically, I have seen too many abuses in this area in the Christian world today. I have talked with some church gals that say, “My husband will just have to take care of himself. I’m going to give my priority to the children.” So sad…and so wrong.