Practical Pointers For Grief - 3 Series

Today I want to conclude with some practical pointers for Grief. Those who have experienced grief understand that it is a difficult journey. As Jesus points out to us in Matthew 14 after the death of His cousin, John the Baptist, there are some practical things we can do to deal with grief. He went to a secluded place to be alone. He ministered to people as He fed the 5000 men plus women and children. He also spent time alone with God as He sent the crowds and the disciples away so He could go up the mountain to be with God and pray. These are things we all need.

I want to tell what may be a familiar story. In the late 1800’s Horatio G. Spafford, a Christian lawyer from Chicago, experienced the death of his infant son. Within weeks of that devastating loss came the infamous Chicago fire of 1871, which destroyed all of his real estate holdings that he had on the shores of Lake Michigan, leaving him almost desolate. So, in 1873 Spafford, with the help of a friend, planned a trip to Europe, to just get away for a few weeks. On November 19 he placed his wife and four daughters on a luxury liner headed for France. Spafford was going to join them in about a week after he took care of some urgent business. But on November 21, 1873, the ship that Spafford’s family was on collided with another vessel and within twelve minutes sank in the northern Atlantic. In the chaotic moments after the collision, all four daughters were swept away from Mrs. Spafford. She was knocked unconscious but was somehow rescued as one of the few survivors.

Back in Chicago, Horatio, heard of the accident and waited anxiously for news about his family. Finally, ten days later, a telegram came to his home, sent from his wife, who was in the hospital. The telegram contained just two words: "Saved - Alone." He knew that he had lost all four of his girls. Horatio Spafford was devastated. He began to shake uncontrollably and was comforted by his best friend and neighbor, Major Whittle.

With Whittle’s help Horatio Spafford, took a ship to France, to meet his wife and bring her home. On the journey he asked the Captain to wake him when they came to the approximate location of the accident. The Captain did so. As Horatio Spafford looked down in those cold, dark waters, which covered up his four little girls, he wept unashamedly. He then went to his cabin and penned the words to what has become one of our most famous hymns.

"When peace like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll- Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul.

The only way that Horatio Spafford could hold on to his faith in the midst of devastating grief, was to put his absolute faith in Jesus Christ. That’s the only way you’ll hold up too.

Today I want us to think about how important it is to deepen our relationship with God in the midst of our grief. For many weeks after my wife passed away, I “fought grief.” I thought that was what we were supposed to do. I believed that grief was harmful to me and I had to resist it.

Through a friend’s counsel and some GriefShare lessons I learned that grief really is not our enemy. Grief has several roles to play in our lives. One of those roles is to lead or push us into a closer walk with God. You see, there is no one else who can help us like God can. In reality, those friends or family members who were at our side when our loved one passed have their own lives. They will be available but not like God can be.

So grief leads us and challenges us and makes us aware of how vulnerable and dependent on God we are. Sometimes we have to be broken and stripped of all of our resources to find THE Resource in God. It kind of reminds me of Jesus’ experience in the wilderness after His baptism. Mark 1:12-13 (NKJV) records:

12 Immediately the Spirit drove Him into the wilderness. 13 And He was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan, and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered to Him.

This was not a pleasant experience for Jesus. The wilderness was a place apart from everyone else. He was alone with the wild beats, the tempter, and finally with the angels who ministered to Him at the end. That experience led the man, Jesus closer to His Father.

In our grief, I want to encourage us to be prayerful as Jesus was in Matthew 14. He sent everyone away so He could pray. Consider Psalm 116:1-2 (NKJV):