#7 - God's View Of Sex Series

For a CD of over 100 of sermons by Darrell Stetler II (most complete with handouts), please e-mail darrellstetler2@sbcglobal.net.

Adultery

‘‘You shall not commit adultery.”Exodus 20:14

Now, the word adultery specifically refers to a sexual relationship with someone other than your spouse ¨C unfaithfulness once you are married. But the principle is much broader. God is telling us that he has guidelines for the sexual relationship. We’ve got a lot of singles here, and these principles that God has apply to all of us, not just those who are married.

So during this sermon, I’m going to focus on the broader picture of God’s guidelines for the sexual relationship.

Why should I preach on this?

The #1 thing in a large survey of churches that people wished pastors would preach more about is sex. So here we go. Actually, I think this is a very appropriate thing to be addressed by pastors! Never has everyone else been so open in talking about sex.

A father asked his eight-year-old son at dinner one evening, ‘‘What did you learn at school today?” The boy replied, ‘‘We learned how to make babies.” Struggling to keep his composure, Dad asked, ‘‘And how do you make babies?” The boy said, ‘‘Oh, it’s easy, you just drop the Y and add I-E-S.”

Fathers may still feel uncomfortable talking to their children about sex, but it is discussed openly almost everywhere else.

The sexual revolution has affected our country dramatically.

Dave Barry, a humor writer said, ‘‘When I was in high school, I would have killed for reliable information on the things that kids now sit around and discuss in class ¨C and hold up diagrams.”

A few decades ago, the pornography industry was relatively small. Let’s imagine. . . you combine the income of Major league baseball, basketball, football and hockey in the past 12 months. The pornography industry made more money than all of them combined!

In 1999, Cameron Barnes’published a book called, Affair! How to Manage Every Aspect of Your Extramarital Relationship with Passion, Discretion, and Dignity. The publisher described it as "a thoughtful, detailed discussion of every aspect of considering, preparing for, beginning, and conducting a successful and emotionally fulfilling extramarital affair."

Hear me. . . there is no such thing!

Judith E. Brandt has written a book called The 50-Mile Rule: Your Guide to Infidelity and Extramarital Etiquette. An interview with the Chicago Tribune included this interchange with Ms. Brandt:

Q: You say [in your book], don’t feel guilty. That doesn’t seem realistic.

Ms. Brandt: Guilt is basically something built into society to keep you in line. If you are going about your business in a discreet way and you are continuing to take care of your wife and, most importantly, your children, there is no reason to feel guilt.

This is utter baloney. Guilt is not from society, guilt is inner pain from God designed to keep you from further pain!

According to Dr. Lana Staneli, author of a book on marital triangles, ‘‘Of those who break up their marriage to marry someone else, eighty percent are sorry later. Of those who do marry their lover, which is only about ten percent, about seventy percent of them get a divorce. Of that twenty-five to thirty percent that stay married, only half of them are happy. Having an affair is an invitation to an awful lot of pain and tragedy.”

Source: Laura Schlessinger, The Ten Commandments: The Significance of God’s Laws in Everyday Life (New York: HarperCollins, 1998), 223-224.

Consequences of ‘‘free sex”:

Free sex is a myth. There is a price tag on it, and it’s not one that you and I will be glad we paid! Someone said, ‘‘If you sow the seeds of free sex, you better pray for a crop failure.”

Right here in Oklahoma City, several years ago, a group decided to crack down on pornography and adult businesses. During that period, over 100 adult business, video stores, and strip clubs were shut down. During that period of time, rape dropped 20%, while going up 25% nationwide during the same period ¨C a 45 POINT SPREAD!

That tells me and you that there is a direct relationship between ‘‘free sex” and all kinds of things we don’t want. You cannot encourage free sex without promoting things like rape, incest, and sexual abuse. It simply isn’t possible.

I want you to talk back to me for a minute. Let’s list some consequences of having a sexual relationship

¡ñ Missing Heaven

¡ñ Emotional problems

¡ñ Unwanted pregnancy

¡ñ Regret

¡ñ Emotionally disturbed children

¡ñ Bad reputation

¡ñ Sexually Transmitted Diseases

¡ñ Leaving one partner feeling used.

¡ñ increased chance of sexual addiction.

¡ñ bondage to sin.

When you play around sexually, you leave pieces of your soul with this person and with that person.