For This Reason Series

For This Reason … Genesis 2:24 - April 22, 2012

Series: After The Honeymoon - #2

When I was in elementary school my very best friend in the whole world lived right across the street from me. It was a great set-up. We would hang out almost every day. Our families were very similar – Mom, Dad, and two kids in each household, a boy and a girl. He was my age and his sister was my sister’s age. It was a natural fit and the families had a lot of fun together in those years. In my mind, this was normal. But I remember the day that normal began to change and it changed the day that my best friend shared with me that his parents were getting a divorce.

Now that’s the first time that one of my friend’s families ever broke up. And I wish that I could say that that was the only time it ever happened, because there was lots of hurt and pain and turmoil in their family during that period, but the truth is that within just a few short years of that day the number of my friends who still had Mom and Dad in the same household began to be overtaken by those where Mom and Dad had gone their separate ways. Normal had changed. And today it’s just that much worse. At Kierra’s birthday party last weekend fully 4 out of the 10 girls who were there came from broken homes and some of them came from homes that had been broken multiple times.

My heart aches when I think of that! And I can’t help but wonder, if that’s how many marriages have broken down, how many more are there out there that are hurting, and troubled, and headed towards disaster that we don’t even know about? How many out there are just one more bad day away from letting go and giving up and moving on?

The truth is that there is not a single marriage, not yours, nor mine, nor anyone else’s, whether in the church or outside of the church, that is immune from hurt and heartache and turmoil. And that’s part of the reason for this series on marriage. Our desire is that good marriages would become great, that troubled marriages would discover new life, that hurting marriages would find healing and restoration, and that those who have not yet, but who would one day desire to enter into marriage, be given a firm foundation on which to build.

I’ve called this series, “After The Honeymoon,” because that’s when the reality of marriage begins to sink in for most of us. That’s when the hard work of marriage really begins to happen - as two very different people, from possibly two very different backgrounds, try to shape a new life together. And that process can be fun and exciting and full of laughter and joy but it can also be touched by hurt and pain and disappointment and tears.

Last week, Matthew and Amy were good enough to come up here and share with us a little about their own marriage. This week I’m going to ask my own wife, Heather, if she would come and join me up here for a few minutes, as we share a bit about our early days together.

We got married during Spring Break while we were both still in Bible College. This past February marked our 15th wedding anniversary. And as Heather reminds me from time to time we have still not had our honeymoon yet – there just wasn’t time during that one week we had off to get married, to get set up in our first place together, and to go on that honeymoon. So she is still waiting, and guys I missed my opportunity, because in those early days it was her suggestion that our honeymoon take place during a caribou hunt up north. Since that time her idea of a honeymoon has changed and now I’m told it will involve someplace warm and sunny and there will be no hunting involved! That’s the price I pay for waiting!

But Heather, why don’t you share very briefly about how we met and where you were at in your life at that time? …

I was in somewhat of a similar situation in that I had been engaged to someone for a number of months but had called it off just three days before Heather and I met. So really we were two hurting people, trying to deal with our own baggage, and who were in no place to look for a relationship at that time. That was probably a good thing because it meant that for a number of months we didn’t even think of dating but instead built into a rich friendship and I cannot think of a better thing than to marry the person who became, and who remains, my very best and closest friend today.