12 Steps Of Forgiveness

1. Openly recognize wrong deeds to be wrong deeds.

2. Recognize that your anger is not only normal but necessary. (Jesus, “after looking around at them with anger” Mark 3: 5; “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Ephesians 4: 26)

3. Realize how ongoing bitterness will ultimately hurt you.

4. Learn from your problems by establishing better Boundaries. See this great book by Drs. Cloud / Townsend.

5. Refuse to be in the inferior position and resist the desire to be superior. “an arrogant spirit appears before a fall” Proverbs. 16: 18

6. Avoid the futility of judgments, letting God be the ultimate judge. "Vengeance is mine . . . says the Lord.” Rom. 12: 19

7. Allow yourself permission to grieve.

8. Confront the injuring (ed) party if appropriate. (Federal Bureau of Prisons' Threshold)

9. Find emotional freedom as you let go of the illusion of control. (Like the 7 habits’ circles of influence and concern)

10. Choose forgiveness because it is part of your life’s mission.

11. Come to terms with others’ wrong deeds by recognizing your own need for forgiveness. (speck in an eye – Matt. 7:3)

12. Become a source of encouragement to other hurting people. (like Barnabas in Acts 4: 36)

(Federal Bureau of Prisons' Threshold book 3 suggests: accepting responsibility, seek forgiveness, make it right, change course)