Winning With People: Say The Right Words At The Right Time Series

25 Ways to Win With People

How to Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks

By John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott III

1. Start With Yourself – King Solomon (I Kings 3:5-14)

2. Practice the 30 Second Rule – Jesus and Simon Peter (John 1:42)

3. Let People Know You Need Them – Paul (II Tim. 4:11) / Galatians 4:13-15)

4. Create a Memory and Visit It Often – Joshua (Joshua 4:1-7)

5. Compliment People In Front of People – John the Baptist (John 1:29-31)

6. Give Others a Reputation to Uphold – Jesus and Nathaniel (John 1:45-48)

7. Say the Right Words at Right Time – Mordecai to Esther (Esther 4:13-14)

8. Encourage the Dream of Others – Naomi and Ruth (Ruth 3:1-6)

9. Pass the Credit Onto Others – David and his men (I Samuel 30:21-31)

10. Offer Your Very Best – Epaphroditus (Philippians 2:25-30)

11. Share a Secret With Someone – Mary and Elizabeth (Luke 1:39-45)

12. Mine the Gold of Good Intentions – Abigail and David (I Sam. 25:23-35)

13. Keep Your Eyes Off the Mirror – Joseph & Brothers (Genesis 50:18-20)

14. Do for Others What They Can’t Do for Themselves – Joseph (Genesis 41)

15. Listen With Your Heart – Barnabas & John Mark (Acts 15:36-41)

16. Find the Keys to Their Heart – Nehemiah & Builders (Nehemiah 2:17-18)

17. Be the First to Help – Barnabas & Saul (Acts 9:26-27)

18. Add Value to People – Rebekah & Abraham (Genesis 24:10-27)

19. Remember a Person’s Story – David, Jonathan, Mephibosheth (I Sam. 9:1-13

20. Tell a Good Story – Paul (Acts 26:1-29)

21. Give With No Strings Attached – Jonathan (I Samuel 18:1-4)

22. Learn Your Mailman’s Name – Paul (Romans 16:3-15)

23. Point Out People’s Strengths – Peter and Paul (II Peter 3:14-16)

24. Write Notes of Encouragement – Paul and his Epistles (Philippians, II Tim.)

25. Help People Win – Deborah and Barak (Judges 4:4-5)

“Say the Right Words at the Right Time”

ESTHER 4:13-14

Mordecai and Esther

Mordecai was a cousin and mentor to Esther the queen. During her reign, Haman, the

prime minister, turned against the Hebrews. It was a critical time in Jewish history.

I. THE MOMENT WAS FRIGHTENING.

Haman planned to commit genocide against the Jews. He hated them. If he got his way,

every Hebrew in Persia would die, including Esther the queen. It was a sobering moment.

Therefore, Mordecai’s words were honest. They awakened Esther to reality.

Because of the circumstances, Mordecai was brutally honest. He defined the situation for

Esther. His clarity was an attempt to awaken the hero inside her.

II. THE ISSUE WAS NATIONAL IN SCOPE.

Mordecai informed Esther twice that every Jew was in danger. This was a huge crisis,

national in scope. He wanted to make sure she recognized how important this issue was.

Therefore, Mordecai’s words were personal. They lit a fire in Esther’s heart.

Because the issue was so big, Mordecai knew it would be easy for Esther to think she

couldn’t make a difference. He spoke into her life and ministered to her true self.

III. THE OPPORTUNITY WAS RISKY.

Esther reminded Mordecai that if she entered the throne room in the palace, she could be

killed. It was all too risky—she might die either way: by acting or not acting.

Therefore, Mordecai’s words were bold. They provided Esther courage to act.

Recognizing the risk involved, Mordecai knew his words had to be bold; he had to call

her out and offer a challenge that would match the need of the hour.

IV. THE NEED WAS CONFUSING.

It all happened so fast, it was difficult for Esther to draw the conclusion that she had to

act. Wouldn’t her position as queen keep her safe? Or, could Haman take her life, too?

Therefore, Mordecai’s words were visionary. They gave Esther perspective.

In her confusion, Mordecai knew he had to give her a sense of destiny. He connected this

challenge to her divine calling in life. He gave her God’s perspective on the crisis.

Question: How do we intuitively know what to say and when?