Self-Esteem Or God-Esteem? - Lesson 1 - Introduction - Understanding The Difference Between Pride And Biblical Self-Esteem Series

To be different from the world, every Born-Again Christian must have a healthy awareness of who they are in Christ and the new self-identity He gives.

Questions: (Yes or No responses)

Is human pride sinful?

Is it wrong to feel pride for the accomplishments and success of a loved one?

Do we want our kids to be proud of themselves when they overcome obstacles and achieve success in school or their job?

Do we want our kids to be proud of themselves?

Is it wrong to feel self-confidence or satisfaction for a job well done or helping others?

Isn't pride a good thing when we're proud of our country or for those who stand up for righteousness? Isn't it lack of pride and low self-esteem which cause people to make self-destructive choices in life?

Many in the church believe that helping to build self-esteem is anti-Christian. They believe that God did not create human beings inherently good. They assume that pride is caused by high self-esteem and confidence in oneself.

The Bible tells us that all humans were created good but became sinful because of the fall of Adam and Eve and are "dead in transgressions and sins" (Eph 5:12 ESV; see also Gen 3; Rom 5:12). Because of that, we cannot rely upon our subjective knowledge of ourselves.

God said that the human heart "is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? "I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds" (Jer 17:9-10 ESV). The truth is that every human being is a fallen creature, a sinner who is utterly unable to save themselves. However, cultivating biblical self-esteem is not about building up pride in a person but tearing it down.

Let's take a look at various uses of the word 'pride' in the Bible.

"Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." (Prov 16:18 ESV)

"Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy." (Ez 16:49 ESV)

The word "pride" used above is translated from the Hebrew word "ga'own" [gaw-ohn'] and means proud, swelling, arrogance, majesty, pomp, vainglory.

It was because of pride that God destroyed Sodom.

"For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world." (1 John 2:16 ESV)

The word translated from the Greek used above as "pride" is alazonia' [al-ad-zon-I’-a] and means boastfulness, an arrogant display.

"For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." (Mark 7:21-23 ESV)

The word "pride" in the Greek used above is 'huperéphania' [hoop-er-ay-fan-ee'-ah] and means self-exaltation, vanity. The word is only used in this verse.

"I am acting with great boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy." (2 Cor 7:4 ESV)

The Word translated from the Greek as “pride” used above is 'kauchesis' [kow'-khay-sis] and means the act of boasting, glorying, exultation. It is very different from self-aggrandizement.

Pride is the notion that you don't need God and is at the root of all human sin. Pride is the pleasure or satisfaction that arises from one's achievements that result in feeling superior to others. It is the substitute for biblical self-esteem. The core of pride is self-rejection and not self-actualization.

Biblical self-esteem is confidence and satisfaction in one's abilities and self-worth because God's love is understood, and they want everyone around them to experience it as well.

Human pride is different from confidence which is feeling good about what you have already done well. If a person has true confidence in who they are, they don't need to brag or boast, be overly defensive, find faults in others or look down at them.

It is important to instill positive self-worth in children to make them confident so that they have a healthy, balanced sense of self that won't be negatively affected by the pressures of life and future challenges.

The opposite of pride is humility. Biblical humility is a kind of self-forgetfulness as you esteem all others more highly than yourself, taking no thought or worry about tomorrow and casting all your cares at the feet of Jesus – and then walking away for them! Humility is not self-hatred or belittling yourself.

Biblical self-esteem is a measure of how much you like and accept yourself for who you are in Christ. It is developed by emphasizing the value of God's love in your life. It is experienced in the heart and provides mental and emotional confidence. Being self-confident and feeling good about yourself because of who you are in Christ is not the same as being egotistical. When others offer praise, it is channeled from the mind to the heart by feeling grateful for those who encourage you and being thankful to God for them.