In A World Where Jesus Said Yes To The Devil Series

Hissss Hissss

Imagine…. Imagine…..

And the wizard of Gallillee waved his wand.

And every church was full.

The crowds packed in, acknowledging Jesus as the one true God.

Every church was full. So many people crowding in, standing room only. The collection plate piled HIGH full of cheques. Everyone leaping to put more money in.

Hisss - just bow down and worship me - hissss

every church was full.

And in the torture chambers below the churches, the few who had thought of resisting screamed in agony, the music of a choir above drowning out their cries.

Up above a little girl starts to cry wondering what has happened to her father since he didn’t come to church. “stop it” says her mother or you’ll be taken too.

So many people crowding in, standing room only, everyone knowing the fate of those who don’t turn up.

The collection plate is passed around. With the sidesmen brandishing their revolvers, everyone leaps to put more money in. Write the cheque, sign away your life savings, better to have a life than life savings. The collection plate piled HIGH full of cheques.

Everywhere the inquisitors watch. books are burned. People shu

dder. but the trains run on time and the churches are full.

Hiss - isn’t it wonderful, every church is full --Hissss

No wept the Gallilean “this is not good. This is not what it is all about. This is not life in all its fullness. This is not a lifting up of the broken hearted, a comfort to the afflicted. This is….. You

hisss

so fussy

hissss. you make things hard when they could be so easy.

hissss

Imagine. Imagine.

The wizard of Gallillee waved his wand and nobody starved every again.

News reports blast it round the world - hunger has been ended! New scientific methods of production have led to bread for all. Those pictures we used to show you of children with starving bellies - it’s all over, food for all. Efficiency has led to bread for all.

hisss - turn those stones into bread - Hisss

Nobody starved ever again. Hissss. Efficiency has led to bread for all. Hissss

Miss Antony, no you cannot go to church and you cannot keep that bible. Religion is the opiate for the masses that dulls people’s hunger for the real thing they hunger for - Bread. Time spent singing and praying and meeting worshipers could be spent - baking. Those pages of that Holy Book you wish to read can be recycled into fertiliser for wheat. People don’t need stories, people don’t need words, people need Bread. The miracle of efficient modern production means nobody starves. We will not risk human kind’s greatest achievement just to indulge your quaint superstitions

Mr Smith this is the third time we have had to discipline you this month for talking rather than baking. There are twenty four hours in a day. In accordance with scientific guidance, 7 hours are assigned for sleep, 1 hour is asssigned for exercise, 2 hours are assigned for eating. Thirteen hours forty five are assigned for the production of bread. That leaves you with 15 minutes daily for recreation. Huger has been ended Mr Smith due to the miracle of Scientific production. Would you slack of your work just so you can chat and see someone starve. Yes, you say he is your friend, but friendships don’t keep people alive Mr Smith. Bread does. Bread alone.

Yes Mrs McConacue we do appreciate that you have been married to your husband for 7 years and that you have too children whom you will never see again. But sentimentality cannot be allowed to get in the way of efficiency. There is a surplus of food in Siberia and a surplus of people in South London. Therefore you will go on the next plane to Siberia. Through the miracle of industrial production we have ended hunger. We are not going to risk human kind’s greatest achievement just so you can have a few cuddles from your children.

Hiss - hunger ended, stones turned to bread. Hisssss

No wept the Gallilean “this is not good. Humanity cannot live on bread alone. This is not life in all its fullness. This is not a lifting up of the broken hearted, a comfort to the afflicted. This is….. You

hisss

so fussy

hissss. you make things hard when they could be so easy.

hissss

Imagine. Imagine.

The wizard of Gallillee waved his wand and…

He lept off the top of Canary Wharf, and as he did so, winged beings swept down and floated him to the ground. The newscameras captured it all, broadcasting it live on BBC, SKY, and ITV. This is of course not the first time the wizard has performed this stunt, having lept off the Empire State Building, the Eiffel Tower, and indeed equivalent buildings in all 206 of the countries of the world. Not that there are any longer 206 nations in the world. After every gun in the world began sponaneously sprouting flowers war has ended and world peace reigns. Al Quaeda and all it’s affiiates have surrendured and laid down their arms after the Gallilean’s undeniable miracles have proved once for all that Jesus is the messiah.