Handling A Difficult Marriage Series

HANDLING A DIFFICULT MARRIAGE

By Rev. Samuel Arimoro

Main Text: 1 Corinthians 7:10-16

Supporting Texts: Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-7, Colossians 3:13, Proverbs 3:5-6, Matthew 19:6

INTRODUCTION:

Marriage is a divine institution ordained by God for companionship, love, and mutual support. However, no marriage is without challenges. Some couples face difficulties due to differences in personality, financial struggles, unfaithfulness, communication breakdown, or spiritual warfare. While difficulties in marriage can be painful, God’s word provides wisdom, strength, and guidance on how to navigate through them.

The key to handling a difficult marriage is prayer, wisdom, patience, and unconditional love. With God at the centre, even the most troubled marriages can be restored and transformed.

1. UNDERSTANDING THE ROOT CAUSE OF THE PROBLEM

Difficulties in marriage do not arise without a cause. Identifying the root issue is the first step to healing.

a) Poor Communication (Proverbs 18:21)

Many conflicts arise from misunderstandings, assumptions, and unexpressed emotions.

b) Unforgiveness and Bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32)

Holding on to past hurts creates a toxic atmosphere in the home.

c) Financial Struggles (Ecclesiastes 7:12)

Money issues can lead to tension, arguments, and mistrust.

d) Spiritual Differences (2 Corinthians 6:14)

When one partner is spiritually strong and the other is weak or unsaved, conflicts can arise.

e) Biblical Example: Hannah and Elkanah (1 Samuel 1:1-8)

Hannah was deeply troubled because of barrenness and Peninnah’s provocation, but Elkanah’s love and patience helped her endure.

2. DEVELOPING A HEART OF PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING

Patience is a virtue that sustains marriage during tough times.

a) Love Covers a Multitude of Faults (1 Peter 4:8)

True love is not easily offended and is willing to overlook small faults.

b) Understand Your Spouse’s Needs (Ephesians 5:33)

A husband must love his wife, and a wife must respect her husband.

c) Learn to Listen Before Reacting (James 1:19)

Many conflicts can be resolved by simply listening with an open heart.

d) Seek Wise Counsel (Proverbs 11:14)

Do not allow pride to stop you from seeking godly advice when needed.

e) Biblical Example: Abigail and Nabal (1 Samuel 25:3-35)

Abigail endured a difficult marriage with a foolish husband but handled the situation with wisdom and patience.

3. THE POWER OF PRAYER IN RESTORING MARRIAGE

Prayer invites God to work in a difficult marriage.

a) Pray for Your Spouse’s Heart to Change (Ezekiel 36:26)

Only God can transform a hardened heart.

b) Pray for Wisdom to Handle Conflicts (James 1:5)

Wisdom helps to respond to situations rightly.

c) Use the Weapon of Spiritual Warfare (Ephesians 6:12)

Some marital battles are spiritual and require prayer and fasting.

d) Ask God for Grace to Love Unconditionally (Romans 5:5)

God's love helps us forgive and remain committed.

e) Biblical Example: Esther and King Ahasuerus (Esther 4:16, 5:1-3)

Esther prayed and fasted before approaching her husband, and God turned the situation in her favour.

4. FORGIVENESS AND HEALING IN MARRIAGE

A marriage cannot thrive if there is no forgiveness.

a) Forgive as Christ Forgave You (Colossians 3:13)

If Jesus forgave us, we must extend the same grace to our spouse.

b) Healing Takes Time, Be Patient (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Some wounds in marriage need time to heal through love and patience.

c) Let Go of Past Hurts (Philippians 3:13-14)

Holding on to past mistakes only breeds resentment.

d) Seek Restoration, Not Revenge (Romans 12:17-19)

A Christian marriage should reflect God's love, not retaliation.

e) Biblical Example: Hosea and Gomer (Hosea 3:1-5)

Despite Gomer’s unfaithfulness, Hosea forgave and restored her, showing God’s unfailing love.

5. WHEN TO SEEK HELP AND GODLY INTERVENTION

There are times when external help is needed.

a) Seek Pastoral or Christian Counselling (Proverbs 15:22)

Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but wisdom.

b) Involve Trusted Mentors or Spiritual Leaders (Titus 2:3-5)

Older, godly couples can provide wisdom from experience.

c) If There is Abuse, Seek Safety First (Psalm 18:2)

Physical or emotional abuse should not be ignored. Seek protection.

d) Trust God’s Power to Restore (Joel 2:25)

God is able to restore even a broken marriage.

e) Biblical Example: The Prodigal Son’s Father (Luke 15:11-24)

Just as the father welcomed his son back with love, marriage can be restored through love and repentance.

CONCLUSION:

Handling a difficult marriage requires wisdom, patience, forgiveness, and prayer. No matter the challenge, God is able to heal and restore any broken relationship. If you are going through struggles in your marriage, seek God’s guidance, apply biblical principles, and trust Him for transformation. With God, nothing is impossible.

PRAYER POINTS:

1. Lord, give me wisdom to handle challenges in my marriage.

2. Every spirit of division in my home, be destroyed in Jesus’ name.

3. Father, fill my heart with love and patience for my spouse.

4. I break every generational curse affecting my marriage.

5. Holy Spirit, heal every broken area of my relationship.