Contributed by Mark Perryman on May 10, 2006
based on 1 rating
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A man went to his doctor for a checkup. The doctor did a very thorough examination and then asked the nurse to send the man’s wife into his office. The doctor said, “I have some very bad news, your husband is very sick. The good news is that there is hope. If you will take him home, cook him
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Assembly Of God
enry Ward Beecher said something truly helps us here. “If one should give me a dish of sand and tell me there were particles of iron in it, I might look for them with my eyes and search for them with my clumsy fingers and be unable to detect them; but let me take a magnet and sweep through it and
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 5, 2008
A motorist was driving in the country when he saw some men who had come from an ecumenical meeting: a Baptist Pastor, a Catholic Priest, an Anglican Vicar, and a Jewish Rabbi. They were standing on the shoulder of the road, fishing. Next to them was a sign that read "Turn Around. The End Is Near."
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Independent/Bible
Three turtles decided to go on a picnic. They were the best of friends. Before long it started to rain, they decided that one of them should go back and get some umbrellas.
One turtle agreed to go but only if the other two promised not to begin eating until he returned. They promised. He headed
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Baptist
Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jun 6, 2022
One day, when Vice President Calvin Coolidge was presiding over the Senate, one Senator angrily told another to go “straight to hell.”
The offended Senator complained to Coolidge as presiding officer, and Coolidge looked up from the book he had been leafing through while listening to the debate.
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Rick Stacy on Mar 24, 2002
based on 11 ratings
| 2,372 views
THE TOP 5 HOSPITAL BLOOPERS
5. "This must be God’s will for your life."
(Did He tell you that?)
4. "Remember, time heals all wounds."
(I hope that isn’t why time has no end.)
3. "So, what are your chances?"
(Better than yours for "Encourager of the Year.")
2. "Things could be worse."
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by David Ward on Dec 7, 2004
based on 1 rating
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In the early 1990s when President George Bush had John Sununu as his White House chief of staff, a reporter asked Sununu if his job was difficult. He quickly answered, "No." The reporter thought Sununu had misunderstood the question, so he asked again, and got the same reply.
Sununu, a former
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 30, 2006
based on 6 ratings
| 6,561 views
Boat Compromise"
My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway. "I’ll tell you what," he told her, "In the spirit of compromise, why don’t you name the boat?"
Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage,
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Contributed by Mike Rexroat on Aug 5, 2007
Aren’t we like that sometimes? We have so much that when we lose something it isn’t that big of a deal? I read this week about an actual Ebay listing for a 1962 Ford Thunderbird Convertible...it had 5,487 original miles...in perfect showroom condition. A man called about it and he asked the
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
David who wrote this Psalm was the greatest of all the offenders in human values. David broke five of Ten Commandments. 1) Thou shall not steal, 2) Thou shall not Kill, 3) Thou shall not commit adultery, 4) Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbour and 5) Thou shall not covet. And
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Denomination:
Seventh-Day Adventist
Contributed by Paul Wallace on Feb 21, 2008
based on 2 ratings
| 1,007 views
One morning after a terrible snowstorm, Susan was outside shoveling her driveway. She stopped to wave hello to her neighbor, and he asked her why her husband wasn’t out there helping her with the chore.
She explained that one of them had to stay inside to take care of the children, so they drew
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2008
based on 1 rating
| 2,154 views
SIR HENRY TAYLOR IS QUOTED AS SAYING, "HE WHO GIVES WHAT HE WOULD AS READILY THROW AWAY, GIVES WITHOUT GENEROSITY; FOR THE ESSENCE OF GENEROSITY IS IN SELF-SACRIFICE." I RECENTLY READ SOMEWHERE THAT THE AVERAGE BABY BOOMER GIVES TO THE CHURCH ABOUT WHAT HE WOULD SPEND ON A MOVIE TICKET. $7 IS NOT
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Contributed by Steve Ely on Oct 1, 2008
based on 1 rating
| 1,611 views
A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.
"I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up?"
Nine hands went
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by D. Greg Ebie on Sep 20, 2007
The top ten things teenagers hate to hear their parents say:
10. Pull your pants up. (What good will that do? They will just fall down again.)
9. When I was your age we did things differently. (Unfortunately, your kids still aren’t convinced you ever were their age.)
8. Who is going with you and
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Assembly Of God
Sermon Central