Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 8, 2001
based on 100 ratings
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As we begin this new series on the Bible I thought I’d share some Biblical Bloopers with you. These are s-lightly skewed scriptural insights from children of Christian and Jewish faiths:
- In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took
the Sabbath
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Scripture:
Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Jun 6, 2002
[Beauty of Unity, Citation: Mike Royko, One More Time (University of Chicago Press, 1999), pp. 85-87; submitted by Dallas Roark, Emporia, Kansas]
The late columnist Mike Royko writes about a conversation he had with Slats Grobnik, a man who sold Christmas trees.
Slats remembered one couple on the
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Noel Atkinson on Jan 17, 2011
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BIBLE RIDDLES
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest
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Baptist
Contributed by Pat Cook on Jun 28, 2003
based on 2 ratings
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They tell me there were these three professionals sitting around a table talking about what the oldest profession was. The doctor says, "Well, the Bible says that God took a rib out of Adam to make woman. Since that clearly required surgery, then the oldest profession is medicine.” The engineer
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Dec 29, 2003
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“When Alexander the Great was about to destroy the city Lampsacus, his old master Anaximenes came out to meet him.
Alexander, suspecting his design, that he would intercede for the city, being determined to destroy it, swore that he would not grant him any thing he should ask.
Then said
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 1 rating
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Great illustration of a perfectionist. John Quincy Adams held more important offices than anyone else in the history of the U.S. He served with distinction as president, senator, congressman, ambassador to major European powers, and participated in various capacities in the American Revolution, the
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-Even if Jacob did not buy into the words of the messengers, when he saw the wagons he could believe that Joseph was alive.
• The first sign of Joseph was a bloody coat and it fooled Jacob.
• The second sign of Joseph was wagons full of goods and it encouraged him.
• The first sign rattled Jacob.
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Perry Greene on Sep 15, 2011
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SOME FAMOUS LAST WORDS
Washington, George (1732-1799) "It is well, I die hard, but I am not afraid to go."
Adams, John (1735-1826) "Thomas Jefferson--still survives..." (4 July 1826. Jefferson died later the same day.)
Jefferson, Thomas (1743-1826) "Is it the Fourth?" (4 July 1826)
Sedgwick,
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on Sep 24, 2006
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Time magazine’s cover story this month was entitled, “Does God Want You to Be Rich?” The header said, “A growing number of Protestant evangelicals raise a joyful Yes!” The article opens with the story of George Adams, a man from Ohio who had lost his factory job. His reaction to the job loss
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Denomination:
Methodist
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Two men are on a journey one day. The first complains to the second that he never focuses on anything; he's always being distracted by something. The second disputes the claim and says he can and does focus on doing what he is doing frequently. The first man says, "I bet you a banana split that
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Catholic
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 28, 2006
based on 5 ratings
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Leonard Bernstein was once asked which instrument was the most difficult to play. He thought for a moment and then replied, "The second fiddle. I can get plenty of first violinists, but to find someone who can play the second fiddle with enthusiasm -
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Independent/Bible
based on 3 ratings
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Hummingbird War
Jay E. Adams writes that under the roof in his backyard hangs a hummingbird feeder that he keeps filled with sugar water. There are four openings in it from which birds may suck the nectar. Yet, day after day, from early morning until after dusk, the feeder is the source of the
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Clark Tanner on Apr 13, 2009
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NO WITNESSES
Think about this. There were no witnesses to creation except the angels. God created, and He created man last. So He had to have told Adam what He did, and the information was passed down from there. So we either believe the Creation account, or we disbelieve and we accept some
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Orthodox
Contributed by Charles Jones on Oct 21, 2008
I don’t want to Test God
I don’t want to reject God
All I want is for Him to bring me into that place where I can hear his voice. We need to be real with God. Just like God called Adam from the midst of the Garden. And asked “ Where are you?” The Savior is calling today and saying Come unto
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
He Who is "the image of the invisible God" (Col. 1:15),(21) is Himself the perfect man. To the sons of Adam He restores the divine likeness which had been disfigured from the first sin onward. Since human nature as He assumed it was not annulled,(22) by that very fact it has been raised up to a
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Catholic
A little girl asked her Mom, “Where do human beings come from?”
Mom answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.”
Two days later the girl asked her Dad the same question. Dad answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
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