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In Sermon Illustrations: "Preacher Jokes"

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  • What's The Big Deal About The Church?

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 28, 2008
     | 1,780 views

    WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT THE CHURCH? A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?" I'm sure that's probably how some people feel about most preachers and ...read more

  • The More He Gave

    Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 21, 2010
     | 949 views

    The great writer and preacher, John Bunyan: "There was a man, Some called him mad; The ...read more

  • Nelson Mandela Was Recently Interviewed On Oprah. ...

    Contributed by Philip Cairns on Feb 1, 2002
     | 2,146 views

    Nelson Mandela was recently interviewed on Oprah. It was a great interview. Oprah asked him the question - "What was the #1 reason for your success - keeping sane in prison, remaining humble as a leader?" Mandela’s answer was strong and unequivocal - the most important thing, much more important ...read more

  • Cured  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 11, 2002
    based on 7 ratings
     | 4,434 views

    CURED A woman went to her doctor’s office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in ...read more

  • Golf Beginner  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 12, 2003
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,434 views

    *Golf Beginner* A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he’d try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first ...read more

  • Years Ago New Engineers In The Lamp Division Of ...

    Contributed by Mark Brunner on Feb 6, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,316 views

    Years ago new engineers in the Lamp Division of General Electric were assigned, as a joke, the impossible task of frosting light bulbs on the inside. None of the engineers took the assignment seriously since frosting a bulb on the inside was not a possibility by engineering standards. Eventually, ...read more

  • Wailing And Laughing  PRO

    Contributed by Ovidiu Radulescu on May 26, 2009
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,621 views

    WAILING AND LAUGHING Now, you may realize that in those days in Middle-Eastern custom, people usually wailed loudly at funerals. I grew up in a Greek Orthodox country and until today the custom requires a loud and visible weep for the dead. Can you imagine how perplexed I was when I watched people ...read more

  • The Use Of God's Gifts

    Contributed by Sean Harder on Dec 9, 2009
     | 2,612 views

    THE USE OF GOD'S GIFTS How much did Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys spend on the New Texas Stadium? 1.15 billion dollars. They joke that there is a hole in the top of the stadium so that God can watch his favorite team play. I’m not so sure Mr. Jones doesn’t believe that. We look at ...read more

  • Right Under His Nose  PRO

    Contributed by Derrick Tuper on Jun 11, 2010
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,115 views

    RIGHT UNDER HIS NOSE Sometimes we probably feel like the man whose grandchildren played a practical joke on him. Each afternoon, Grandpa would lie down for a nap. One day, the kids decided to put limburger cheese in his moustache. Quite soon afterward, he awoke sniffing. "This room stinks," he ...read more

  • The Public Scavenger

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 21, 2011
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,191 views

    THE PUBLIC SCAVENGER A long time ago in Greece, some politicians decided to play a joke on a fellow politician in their group. They got him appointed to the post of Public Scavenger. It was a dirty, lowly post. But instead of being humiliated, the man decided he would show everybody what he could ...read more

  • Josh Mcdowell On Why People Refuse To ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 4, 2012
     | 3,698 views

    JOSH MCDOWELL ON WHY PEOPLE REFUSE TO BELIEVE Josh McDowell writes, “People refuse to believe that which they don’t want to believe, in spite of evidence. When explorers first went to Australia they found a mammal which laid eggs; spent some time in water, some on land; had a broad, flat tail, ...read more

  • Betting On Goliath  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Apr 2, 2013
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,736 views

    BETTING ON GOLIATH Death was handled differently in the ancient world. An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year old ...read more

  • During One Of His Political Campaigns, A ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,488 views

    During one of his political campaigns, a delegation called on Theodore Roosevelt at his home in Oyster Bay, Long Island. The President met them with his coat off and his sleeves rolled up. "Ah, gentlemen," he said, "come down to the barn and we will talk while I do some work." At the barn, ...read more

  • The General Took His Stand

    Contributed by Bruce Howell on Jan 23, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,261 views

    Illus.: “The General Took His Stand” Fredrick the Great of Germany, was a scoffer, but his great general, Von Zealand, was a devout Christian. One day at a gathering, the king was making coarse jokes about Jesus and the whole palace was ringing with laughter. Von Zealand arose stiffly and said, ...read more

  • The General Took His Stand  PRO

    Contributed by Bruce Howell on Jan 23, 2008
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,589 views

    Illus.: “The General Took His Stand” Fredrick the Great of Germany, was a scoffer, but his great general, Von Zealand, was a devout Christian. One day at a gathering, the king was making coarse jokes about Jesus and the whole palace was ringing with laughter. Von Zealand arose stiffly and said, ...read more

  • New Years Football Or Family?

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Dec 24, 2021
     | 2,944 views

    . As in many homes on New Year's Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself. Hoping to keep the peace Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some ...read more

  • A Minister Friend Of Mine Received A Christmas ...  PRO

    Contributed by Melvin Newland on Feb 14, 2001
    based on 105 ratings
     | 4,475 views

    A minister friend of mine received a Christmas card with a note in it from a lady in his congregation. He said she was very complimentary about his preaching, & compared him with Billy Graham. She finished by writing, "I think you are one of the really great preachers of all time." Later that ...read more

  • The Story Is Told About A Little Boy Who Found A ...  PRO

    Contributed by Melvin Newland on May 15, 2001
    based on 141 ratings
     | 1,353 views

    The story is told about a little boy who found a rat in his back yard. He jumped on it. He stomped on it. And he killed it. He was so proud of himself, & he ran to show it to his mother. But he didn’t realize that the preacher had come to call. So the excited boy ran into the house, carrying ...read more

  • Close With Story Of Old Man In Poor House Years ...

    Contributed by Tony Abram on Nov 2, 2006
     | 1,084 views

    Close with story of old man in poor house years ago with Baptist young preacher fresh out of Bible College. It was his first encounter with an old dying person. The man was lost, he confessed he was a great sinner and what could he do? The young preacher said his mind when blank, then the Lord ...read more

  • Praise The Lord And "Amen"

    Contributed by Charles Jones on Dec 16, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 6,394 views

    "PRAISE THE LORD" AND "AMEN" Story has it that there was a preacher that was trying to sell his horse. One day a potential buyer came to the church for a test ride. The preacher said, "Before you start, you should know that this horse only responds to church talk." Go is 'praise the lord' and stop ...read more