In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor"

A Parrot Named Moses

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 14, 2021

A PARROT NAMED MOSES A thief broke into a beautiful suburban house and was looking around for things to steal when he heard a voice say, “Better be careful…Jesus is watching you!” He stopped for a moment and heard it again… The surprised thief froze in his tracks and looked around, shining the ...read more

Tags: Moses, Humor, Jesus Is Watching, Sermon Opener

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Jesus Gives Pony Rides When You Miss Church!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Dec 31, 2021

It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Annie stayed home from church with her mother. When the rest of the family returned home, they were carrying palm branches. Annie asked them what they were for. “People held them over Jesus’ head as he rode by on a colt,” her father ...read more

Tags: Children, Humor, Palm Sunday, Children's Stories

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Prodigal Son In The Key Of F

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Mar 14, 2022

Feeling footloose and frisky, a foolish fellow forced his father to fork over his fourth of the family farthings and flew far to a foreign field where he fast frittered his father's fortune feasting foolishly with faithless friends. Fleeced by his fellows and folly, and facing famine he found ...read more

Tags: Humor, Repentance, Parables, Lost, Prodigal Son  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Things That Mom Would Never Say!!!!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on May 5, 2022

THINGS THAT MOM WOULD NEVER SAY.... 1) “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?” 2) “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot myself when I was your age!” 3) “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery.” 4) “Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another ...read more

Tags: Sermon Introductions, Humor, Mothers, Mother's Day

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Misunderstandings Can Be Hilarious

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 6, 2022

Misunderstandings happen all the time. Here are some: My toddler was about to hit her head on a bar at the playground, so I told her to duck. She quacked at me and then hit her head. A guy ran into a service station and said he needed some 710. They had no idea what he was talking about. So he ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-11

Tags: Humor, Literal, Misunderstanding, Too Literal, Miscommunication  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Where Does Your Ministry Rely Upon God's Power?

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 15, 2023

David Platt in his book Radical has a chapter entitled "Beginning at the End of Ourselves -- The Importance of Relying on God's Power (Subsection entitled - “Dependent on Ourselves or Desperate for His Spirit”) Platt went on to say, "This is where I am most convicted as a pastor. I ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:8-11, Ephesians 5:18

Tags: Repentance, Pastors, Church, Holy Spirit, Pentecost, Power  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Types Of Preaching Found In The New Testament

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 15, 2023

Thomas Constable points out that there are 6 different kinds of preaching described in the New Testament: (1) kerugma, which means proclamation of the clear facts of the Christian message. (2) didache or teaching. This was explanation and interpretation of the facts-the "so what?" (3) ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:1-11

Tags: Church, Teaching, Preaching, Pastors, Homiletics, Teachers, Preachers  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Joke To Share When Attendance In The First Service Begins To Drop

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 12, 2024

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 10:25

Tags: Church, Worship, Pastors, Attending Church, Dead Churches  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

How To Gather A Crowd At Church!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 25, 2021

How to Gather a Crowd at Church! A cattle rancher got saved and surrendered to preach. He went to a Bible conference which was all about how to build a crowd. Asked about it later, he said, "It was strange. In all my years as a cattle rancher, I never had to go to a conference to learn how ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Bible, Teaching, Preaching, Word Of God, Pastors, Churches  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Macarthur On Contemporary Preaching

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 25, 2021

"Many churches today are filled to overflowing with those who want their ears tickled with the myths of easy believism and so called positive thinking. They come to have their egos fed and their sins approved, not to have their hearts cleansed and their souls saved. They want only to feel ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:6-17

Tags: Preaching, Pastors, Churches, The Word Of God, The Bible, Liberalism  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Power Of God's Word!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 25, 2021

How powerful is the Preached Word of God?  On October 7, 1857, C. H. Spurgeon preached to his largest audience ever, some 23, 654 assembled in the mammoth Crystal Palace for a national day of fasting and prayer. A few days before the event Spurgeon had gone to the huge hall to test the ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Salvation, Preaching, Miracles, Pastors, The Word Of God, The Bible  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Why Doesn't God Answer?

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Feb 13, 2022

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her preacher father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day she asked him why. The Pastor was so proud that his daughter was so observant of his mesages. He smiled and answered, "Well, honey, ...read more

Tags: Preachers, Children, Prayer, Pastors, Jokes, Fathers, Sermons  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Church Without The Holy Spirit

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Feb 19, 2022

David Platt in his book, Radical, has a chapter entitled, "Beginning at the End of Ourselves -- The Importance of Relying on God's Power (Subsection entitled - “Dependent on Ourselves or Desperate for His Spirit?”). This is where I am most convicted as a pastor that I am part of a system ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:11

Tags: Church, Holy Spirit, Pentecost, Power, Pastors, Programs  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A.w. Tozer On The Holy Spirit

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Feb 19, 2022

Great Quote by A.W. Tozer on the Holy Spirit: "If God were to take the Holy Spirit out of this world, much of what we’re doing in our churches would go right on and nobody would know the difference! .I do not believe in a REPETITION of Pentecost, but I do ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:11

Tags: Power, Pastors, Ministry, Church, Holy Spirit, Pentecost  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Does Your Ministry Rely Upon The Holy Spirit?

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Feb 19, 2022

"When we rely on organization, we get what organization can do. When we rely upon education, we get what education can do. When we rely on eloquence, we get what eloquence can do. But when we ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:11

Tags: Pastors, Ministry, Church, Holy Spirit, Pentecost, Power  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

An Uncompromising Preacher

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Apr 19, 2022

Peter Cartwright, a nineteenth-century circuit-riding Methodist preacher, was an uncompromising man. One Sunday morning when he was to preach, he was told that General Andrew Jackson was in the congregation, and warned not to say anything out of line. When Cartwright stood to preach, he said, ...read more

Tags: Boldness, Pastors, Evangelism, Hell, Truth, Preaching, Faithfulness  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Glory To God, My Prayers Have Been Answered!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Dec 22, 2022

A pastor bought a female parrot that became quite a problem. The only thing the parrot could say was, "Come on baby, let's kiss! Come on baby, let's kiss!" She was quite carnal. The pastor wanted a more spiritually-minded parrot, so he looked around for help. After much ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 33:3

Tags: Spiritual Warfare, Prayer, Intercession, Petition, Humor, Lord's Prayer, Heavenly Father  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

I Have Never Met A Soul Who Has Set Out To ...  PRO

Contributed by David Yarbrough on Oct 15, 2001

I have never met a soul who has set out to satisfy the Lord and has not been satisfied himself. -- ...read more

Scripture: Ezekiel 3:17-21, Ezekiel 3:16-21, Ezekiel 3:17

Tags: Discipleship, Fulfillment, Call, Christian Disciplines, Pastor, Mandate, Mentor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Young Lady Busied Herself Getting Ready For A ...  PRO

Contributed by D. Greg Ebie on Feb 26, 2006

A young lady busied herself getting ready for a blind date. This was not just dinner and a movie; her date had planned dinner at an exclusive downtown restaurant with live music and dancing. Wanting to make a good first impression she had taken the day off work. She cleaned her apartment; she ...read more

Scripture: 2 Peter 3:1-18

Tags: Dress Properly, Pray, Pastor, Wait, Service, Second Coming  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Paul's Persuasion

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jul 12, 2023

A pastor asked a dying man, "My friend, what persuasion are you?" The man replied, "I am of Paul’s persuasion." The pastor said, "I am afraid you didn’t understand me. Of what persuasion are you?" The man answered, "Oh, I understood you. I am of Paul’s ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:1-9, Romans 8:28-39, 1 John 5:1-13

Tags: Assurance, Pastors, Denominations, Faith, Death, Heaven, Salvation, Hope  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational