In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor" showing 801-820 of 2,876

A Joke To Share When Attendance In The First Service Begins To Drop

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 12, 2024

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 10:25

Tags: Church, Worship, Pastors, Attending Church, Dead Churches  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Glory To God, My Prayers Have Been Answered!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Dec 22, 2022

A pastor bought a female parrot that became quite a problem. The only thing the parrot could say was, "Come on baby, let's kiss! Come on baby, let's kiss!" She was quite carnal. The pastor wanted a more spiritually-minded parrot, so he looked around for help. After much ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 33:3

Tags: Lord's Prayer, Heavenly Father, Spiritual Warfare, Prayer, Intercession, Petition, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

I Have Never Met A Soul Who Has Set Out To ...  PRO

Contributed by David Yarbrough on Oct 15, 2001

I have never met a soul who has set out to satisfy the Lord and has not been satisfied himself. -- ...read more

Scripture: Ezekiel 3:17-21, Ezekiel 3:16-21, Ezekiel 3:17

Tags: Discipleship, Fulfillment, Call, Christian Disciplines, Pastor, Mandate, Mentor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Young Lady Busied Herself Getting Ready For A ...  PRO

Contributed by D. Greg Ebie on Feb 26, 2006

A young lady busied herself getting ready for a blind date. This was not just dinner and a movie; her date had planned dinner at an exclusive downtown restaurant with live music and dancing. Wanting to make a good first impression she had taken the day off work. She cleaned her apartment; she ...read more

Scripture: 2 Peter 3:1-18

Tags: Dress Properly, Wait, Second Coming, Service, Pray, Pastor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Is The Bible Literally True In America?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

A recent survey shows that fewer than one in four Americans (24%) now believe the Bible is "the actual word of God, and is to be taken literally, word for word," and 26% who view it as "a book of fables, legends, history and moral precepts recorded by man." This is the first ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Tags: Preaching, Pastors, Churches, The Word Of God, Preachers, The Bible, America  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Open Rebuke Is Better Than Secret Love.

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

The Scripture tells us that "Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (Proverbs 27:5-6).   Rebuke means sin is not only pointed out, it is condemned. The church really doesn’t do this ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Sin, Preaching, Repentance, Rebuke, Pastors, The Word Of God, Preachers  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Babel And Pentecost In Contrast

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 19, 2022

"Pentecost was a reversal of the judgment at the Tower of Babel when God confused man’s language (Gen. 11:1-9). God’s judgment at Babel scattered the people, but God’s blessings at Pentecost united the believers in the Spirit. At Babel, the people were unable to understand each other, but at ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:11

Tags: Ministry, Church, Holy Spirit, Pentecost, Power, Revival, Pastors  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Paul's Persuasion

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jul 12, 2023

A pastor asked a dying man, "My friend, what persuasion are you?" The man replied, "I am of Paul’s persuasion." The pastor said, "I am afraid you didn’t understand me. Of what persuasion are you?" The man answered, "Oh, I understood you. I am of Paul’s ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:1-9, Romans 8:28-39, 1 John 5:1-13

Tags: Assurance, Pastors, Denominations, Faith, Death, Heaven, Salvation, Hope  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Free Indeed!

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Sep 30, 2023

Once a pastor was speaking on the topic of Spiritual Freedom. He began to wax poetical in his delivery as he repeated over, and over this phrase… “I’m free! I’m free! Praise God I’m free indeed!” After service a little boy shook his hand and said, “Preacher, I’m free! I’m free! I’m free indeed!” ...read more

Scripture: John 8:32, John 8:36, John 8:21-36

Tags: Freedom, Sermons Of Jesus, Pastor Jokes, Laughter The Best Medicine

Denomination: Baptist

Burnout In The Ministry Is A Serious Problem.

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 12, 2024

Burnout is a serious problem among pastors around the world. Some statistics include: On average, seminary trained pastors last only five years in church ministry. • 100% of 1,050 Reformed and Evangelical pastors had a colleague who had left the ministry because of burnout, church conflict, or ...read more

Tags: Elijah, Ministry, Burnout, Pastors, Simon Peter, Discouraged, Quitting  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

God Is Missing!!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 15, 2020

Two young boys in a Christian school had been continually mis-behaving and were sent to the principal’s office on several occasions. The principal knew what they really needed was to have God in their lives, so she brought the first boy in and set him down. “I want to ask you a question. Where is ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 11:28-30, Psalm 46:10, John 3:16, Romans 5:8

Tags: Humor, God's Love, Guilt, Unconfessed Sin, Confusion  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Is Jonah In Heaven Or Not?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

Atheist to girl: “You don’t believe there is a real Jonah who was swallowed by a whale do you? No one believes that stuff any more!” Girl – “I sure do, and when I get to Heaven, I’m going to find Jonah and talk to him about it!" Then the atheist laughed and said mockingly, “And what if ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Humor, Miracles, Atheists, Bible, Faith, Jonah, Preaching  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Funny Thanksgiving Joke To Share!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 18, 2021

A FUNNY THANKSGIVING JOKE TO SHARE! A retiree in Florida phones his daughter in New Jersey and says, “Honey, I have bad news for you. Your mother and I have decided that 52 years of marriage is enough. We’re calling it quits and getting a divorce.” His daughter yells, “Are you crazy? What the ...read more

Tags: Sermon Introduction, Funny Stories, Thanksgiving, Humor, Jokes  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Praying The Alphabet!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 12, 2022

A father walked by his daughter’s bedroom door which was cracked just enough so that he could see that she was kneeling beside her bed in prayer. Interested to find out what subjects a child would bring before God, he paused and listened. He was puzzled though to hear her reciting the alphabet: ...read more

Tags: Prayer, Humor, Lord's Prayer, Jokes, Needs, Children  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Here's A Funny New Approach To Evangelism!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 10, 2022

There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So. the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, "Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door." Soon after ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:8

Tags: Evangelism, Gospel, Humor, Witnessing, Sermon Intro, Barbers  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Where I Used To Go To Church!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on May 4, 2022

A man was stranded on a deserted Pacific island for years. Finally, one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper’s attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After a while the sailor asks, ...read more

Tags: Church, Worship, Humor, Strife, Division, Church Splits  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Don't Do Road Rage If You Have A Christian Bumper Sticker!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on May 29, 2022

I love the story of the stressed-out woman who was tailgating a man as they drove on a busy boulevard. When he slowed to a stop at a yellow light, the woman hit the horn, cussing and screaming in frustration and gesturing angrily. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and ...read more

Tags: Stress, Satan, Obedience, Humor, Hypocrisy, Testimony, Police  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Worst Dad Joke Ever

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jul 17, 2023

I usually begin every one of my Sunday sermons with a funny story to get our congregation comfortable before I begin to dive in deeply to the Word of God. If you like dad jokes or puns (old name) and you want to make your congregation groan a little bit.........check this dad joke out! CHESS ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 17:22, Galatians 5:22-23

Tags: Medicine, Dad Jokes, Happiness, Joy, Humor, Laughter  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Funnnnnny Story About The Fatted Calf!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 15, 2022

FUNNNNNNNNNNY!! A Pastor was doing the children’s devotional in the church service one Sunday when he called all of the kids to the front and asked them this question: “Boys and girls, in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, who was the saddest of all to see the younger brother come back home from the ...read more

Tags: Fattened Calf, Humor, Parables, Prodigal Son, Jokes, Older Brother, Luke 15  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

They Died In The Service  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 16, 2001

THEY DIED IN THE SERVICE One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 2:5-10, 1 Peter 2:9, 1 Peter 2:2-10, 1 Peter 2:11-12, 1 Peter 3:3-5, 1 Peter 5:1-13, 1 Peter 2:18-25, Matthew 4:4-11  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: Pastors, Preaching, Service, Salvation, Children, Church, Church Practices, Cross  (view more)  (view less)