In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor" showing 781-800 of 2,876

A Parrot Named Moses

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 14, 2021

A PARROT NAMED MOSES A thief broke into a beautiful suburban house and was looking around for things to steal when he heard a voice say, “Better be careful…Jesus is watching you!” He stopped for a moment and heard it again… The surprised thief froze in his tracks and looked around, shining the ...read more

Tags: Moses, Humor, Jesus Is Watching, Sermon Opener

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Jesus Gives Pony Rides When You Miss Church!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Dec 31, 2021

It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Annie stayed home from church with her mother. When the rest of the family returned home, they were carrying palm branches. Annie asked them what they were for. “People held them over Jesus’ head as he rode by on a colt,” her father ...read more

Tags: Children, Humor, Palm Sunday, Children's Stories

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Prodigal Son In The Key Of F

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 14, 2022

Feeling footloose and frisky, a foolish fellow forced his father to fork over his fourth of the family farthings and flew far to a foreign field where he fast frittered his father's fortune feasting foolishly with faithless friends. Fleeced by his fellows and folly, and facing famine he found ...read more

Tags: Prodigal Son, Humor, Repentance, Parables, Lost  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Things That Mom Would Never Say!!!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on May 5, 2022

THINGS THAT MOM WOULD NEVER SAY.... 1) “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?” 2) “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot myself when I was your age!” 3) “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery.” 4) “Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another ...read more

Tags: Humor, Mothers, Mother's Day, Sermon Introductions

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Misunderstandings Can Be Hilarious

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 6, 2022

Misunderstandings happen all the time. Here are some: My toddler was about to hit her head on a bar at the playground, so I told her to duck. She quacked at me and then hit her head. A guy ran into a service station and said he needed some 710. They had no idea what he was talking about. So he ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-11

Tags: Humor, Literal, Misunderstanding, Too Literal, Miscommunication  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Independent/Bible

An Old Man's Revenge

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 23, 2022

An old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first biker approached the old man, threw his cigarette into the old man's pie, and then took a seat at the counter. Then, a second biker walked over to the old man, spit into his glass of milk, and then ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 1:1-10

Tags: Grace, Mercy, Humor, Legalism, Revenge, Justice  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Funny Marriage Sermon-Starter

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 23, 2022

An 80 year-old woman was recently married to her 4th husband. A reporter questioned the occupation of her newly acquired husband. She replied that he owned a funeral home. Curious about the other husbands, the reporter also asked about their occupations. The woman paused for a while and stated ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:18-31

Tags: Death, Marriage, Humor, Husbands, Wives, Widows  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

I've Got To Get Grandma On One Of These Machines!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 29, 2022

Grandpa was way up in years before he ever had the opportunity to go to an airport. He also had never seen an escalator in his life. He stood in amazement watching the escalator go up and down for the longest tme. Then, just as he was about to leave, he saw a whole bus-load of ladies from the ...read more

Tags: Christmas, Love, Marriage, Agape, Humor, Spouses  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Baptist Kittens

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 5, 2023

A Church of Christ minister walked past a street corner stand that was full of kittens for sale by a little boy in his neighborhood. The sign over the kittens read, "Church of Christ kittens for sale, one week old.....$5.00 each". The minister smiled and said, "My son, you are ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 16:18

Tags: Baptists, Church, Truth, Humor, Church Of Christ  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Desire For Love

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Aug 8, 2024

The Desire for Love Humor: A couple who had been chatting online for weeks finally met on their first date. After an expensive meal in an upscale restaurant, the lady plucked a daisy from the flower arrangement on the table, pulling the pedals off one by one. She repeated to herself, “He loves me, ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 4:5, 1 John 5:4-5, 1 John 5:10, James 4:4, John 15:19  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: Love, Romance, Humor, Priorities, Love Of World  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

How To Gather A Crowd At Church!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

How to Gather a Crowd at Church! A cattle rancher got saved and surrendered to preach. He went to a Bible conference which was all about how to build a crowd. Asked about it later, he said, "It was strange. In all my years as a cattle rancher, I never had to go to a conference to learn how ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Bible, Teaching, Preaching, Word Of God, Pastors, Churches  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Macarthur On Contemporary Preaching

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

"Many churches today are filled to overflowing with those who want their ears tickled with the myths of easy believism and so called positive thinking. They come to have their egos fed and their sins approved, not to have their hearts cleansed and their souls saved. They want only to feel ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:6-17

Tags: Preaching, Pastors, Churches, The Word Of God, The Bible, Liberalism  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Power Of God's Word!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

How powerful is the Preached Word of God?  On October 7, 1857, C. H. Spurgeon preached to his largest audience ever, some 23, 654 assembled in the mammoth Crystal Palace for a national day of fasting and prayer. A few days before the event Spurgeon had gone to the huge hall to test the ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: The Word Of God, The Bible, Salvation, Preaching, Miracles, Pastors  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Why Doesn't God Answer?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her preacher father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day she asked him why. The Pastor was so proud that his daughter was so observant of his mesages. He smiled and answered, "Well, honey, ...read more

Tags: Jokes, Fathers, Sermons, Preachers, Children, Prayer, Pastors  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Church Without The Holy Spirit

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 19, 2022

David Platt in his book, Radical, has a chapter entitled, "Beginning at the End of Ourselves -- The Importance of Relying on God's Power (Subsection entitled - “Dependent on Ourselves or Desperate for His Spirit?”). This is where I am most convicted as a pastor that I am part of a system ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:11

Tags: Church, Holy Spirit, Pentecost, Power, Pastors, Programs  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A.w. Tozer On The Holy Spirit

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 19, 2022

Great Quote by A.W. Tozer on the Holy Spirit: "If God were to take the Holy Spirit out of this world, much of what we’re doing in our churches would go right on and nobody would know the difference! .I do not believe in a REPETITION of Pentecost, but I do ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:11

Tags: Power, Pastors, Ministry, Church, Holy Spirit, Pentecost  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Does Your Ministry Rely Upon The Holy Spirit?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 19, 2022

"When we rely on organization, we get what organization can do. When we rely upon education, we get what education can do. When we rely on eloquence, we get what eloquence can do. But when we ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:11

Tags: Holy Spirit, Pentecost, Power, Pastors, Ministry, Church  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

An Uncompromising Preacher

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 19, 2022

Peter Cartwright, a nineteenth-century circuit-riding Methodist preacher, was an uncompromising man. One Sunday morning when he was to preach, he was told that General Andrew Jackson was in the congregation, and warned not to say anything out of line. When Cartwright stood to preach, he said, ...read more

Tags: Evangelism, Hell, Truth, Preaching, Faithfulness, Boldness, Pastors  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Where Does Your Ministry Rely Upon God's Power?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 15, 2023

David Platt in his book Radical has a chapter entitled "Beginning at the End of Ourselves -- The Importance of Relying on God's Power (Subsection entitled - “Dependent on Ourselves or Desperate for His Spirit”) Platt went on to say, "This is where I am most convicted as a pastor. I ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:8-11, Ephesians 5:18

Tags: Power, Repentance, Pastors, Church, Holy Spirit, Pentecost  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Types Of Preaching Found In The New Testament

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 15, 2023

Thomas Constable points out that there are 6 different kinds of preaching described in the New Testament: (1) kerugma, which means proclamation of the clear facts of the Christian message. (2) didache or teaching. This was explanation and interpretation of the facts-the "so what?" (3) ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:1-11

Tags: Church, Teaching, Preaching, Pastors, Homiletics, Teachers, Preachers  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational