In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor" showing 721-740 of 2,876

Burning The Turkey

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 25, 2019

But what if you burn the bird? There is a positive way of looking at it: • Salmonella won't be a concern • No one will overeat. • Everyone will think it's Cajun Blackened. • Uninvited guests will think twice next year. • Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newly found ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 103:1-5

Tags: Thanksgiving, Turkey, Thanksgiving Humor

Denomination: Independent/Bible

You Need Mercy!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 30, 2020

One day, a woman who occasionally walked through the park after work, stopped to have her picture taken by a photographer. She was very excited to see the photo, but when she looked at it, her face dropped. She turned to the photographer and stated rather sharply, “This is not right! This is not ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:1-12

Tags: Mercy, Humor, Judgment, Justice

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Chillin Ain’t What I Thought It Was

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 3, 2020

Last week the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came up with a brilliant idea. At least, at the time, it seemed brilliant. “Why don’t we,” she began, “take Monday off and just chill?” Since it's been a long time since I did any chillin, I had to ask her, "What do we chill ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Humor, Vacation, Day Off

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

A Shortcut Is Not Always That Short

Contributed by James Snyder on May 1, 2021

I have always appreciated shortcuts in life. If I can find a shortcut, I will take it because time is valuable to me. I take pride in coming up with a shortcut that actually saves me time. However, not all of my shortcuts have really been that short and I have paid the price. Last week, for ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 32:8

Tags: Humor, Shortcut, Wrong Way

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Blossoming Flower Whisperer

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 17, 2021

When it comes to flowers, I am the epitome of naivety. I have no expertise whatsoever in the plant world. All I see are red, blue and yellow. Don't get me wrong here; I enjoy flowers. However, when it comes to names, I am off the planet. I don't need to know the name of a flower to really ...read more

Scripture: Song of Songs 2:12

Tags: Flowers, Humor, Blossoming, Whisperer

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Don't Judge A Person By Their Cover-Up

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 31, 2021

Have you ever had one of those Déjà vu moments? The other week I was in the shopping mall to pick up some items for the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. She shops so much that I have to help her on occasion. On this occasion, I was walking down the mall and stopped dead in my tracks. ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 2:3

Tags: Judgement, Humor, Encouragement, Judging

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What's All These Gadgets For?

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 14, 2021

Without any hesitation, I will gladly admit that I am on the short side when it comes to gadgets. For me, most of them do not make any sense at all. Instead, I like things simple and easy. As for the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, she is obsessed with gadgets. She loves them almost as much as ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 1:7

Tags: Frustration, Wisdom, Humor, Instruction

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Never Despair (What A Hilarious Story!)

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 14, 2021

Robert Morgan has the following humorous illustration to encourage us to emulate Paul and "never despair". I read about a man whose route to work every day took him through a particular park in the city, and every day he saw an old fellow sitting on the park bench. This fellow was an ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Tags: Depression, Despair, Humor, Discouragement

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

When A Bar Had More Faith Than The Church!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 8, 2022

DO YOU BELIEVE IN PRAYER? A tale is told about a small town that had historically been “dry,” but then a local businessman decided to build a bar. A group of believers from a local church were concerned and planned an all-night prayer meeting to ask God to intervene. It just so happened that ...read more

Tags: Church, Prayer, Humor, Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

When Is It Okay To Be Snarly?

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 6, 2022

Normally, whatever normal means, I don’t get agitated by many things. I can keep my cool under the most bizarre circumstances. Nothing gets under my skin, and I can take everything with a grin. I can’t remember the last time I lost my temper and got mad. I’ve been married for over 50 years, so I ...read more

Scripture: John 8:44

Tags: Humor, Telemarketers, Snarly, Aggitation

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Praise The Lord Horse!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 7, 2022

So, a man who is not a Christian wants to buy a horse... He sees an ad on Craigslist for a great Arabian Stallion. So, he goes to the seller’s ranch to try out the horse and see just how great this stallion really is. When he gets to the ranch where the horse is for sale, the owner says to the ...read more

Tags: Worship, Praise, Humor, Horses

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Story Of The Christian Lion

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 20, 2022

A missionary in Africa was walking through a jungle when he heard the ominous roar of a lion behind him. He was very scared and dropped immediately to his knees and started praying feverishly! "Oh Lord," prayed the missionary, “You know I have served you my whole life. I have even ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 33:3

Tags: Thanksgiving, Protection, Prayer, Humor

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

These Old Bones Of Mine

Contributed by James Snyder on May 20, 2023

I had a frightening experience the other day. I know I must be getting old because things that never frightened me before frighten me. I also see things I never saw before. Going into the bathroom one morning, I looked in the mirror, and my grandfather looked back at me. I almost passed out. With ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 51:8, Psalm 34:20

Tags: Joy, Age, Humor, Bones

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

If Marriage Is That Much Work.......lol

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 24, 2016

IF MARRIAGE IS THAT MUCH WORK........LOL Because of a shortage of maids, the minister’s wife advertised for a male servant to help around the house. The next morning, a nicely dressed young man came to the front door of the parsonage. The minister opened the door and jumped right into the ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 2:1-23

Tags: Marriage, Humor, Husbands And Wives, Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Perfect Preacher  PRO

Contributed by David Parks on Jan 30, 2003

A PERFECT PREACHER After hundreds of years, a model preacher has been found to suit everyone. He preaches exactly 20 minutes and then sits down. He condemns sin but never hurts anyone. He works from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. In every type of work from preaching to custodial service. He makes $60.00 a ...read more

Tags: Church, John The Baptist, Hope, Leadership General, Leadership, Pastor, Pastors, Qualification, Sin, Thanksgiving, Thanks, Thankful  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Blackaby: What Does A Calling Look Like?  PRO

Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Jan 3, 2013

BLACKABY: WHAT DOES A CALLING LOOK LIKE? Henry Blackaby shares from his book "The Power of the Call" pages 10-14 a clear picture of what one looks like who is called by God into pastoral ministry: 1. The pastor is chosen 2. He is chosen by God 3. He is chosen by God to be His servant 4. He is ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 5:1-4, 1 John 4:7-10

Tags: Pastor, Leadership General, Elder, Shepherd

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Mother Teresa

Contributed by Don Berry-Graham on Mar 1, 2016

Mother Teresa was attending a party full of dignitaries. The guest list included presidents and statesmen from around the world. They came in their crowns and jewels and silks. Mother Teresa wore her ever-present sari, held together by a safety pin. True leadership must be for the benefit of the ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 5:1-10

Tags: Mercy, Pastoral Leadership, Showing Mercy

Denomination: Baptist

Don't Wait For A Cyclone To Preach The Word!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

A.W. Tozer once said, "I heard of one graduate of a theological school who determined to follow his old professor’s advice and preach the Word only. His crowds were average. Then one day a cyclone hit the little town and he yielded to the temptation to preach on the topic, “Why God Sent A ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Preaching, Pastors, Churches, The Word Of God

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Preach!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

“PREACH” The word, “preach” comes from the Greek word, kerusso, and means to proclaim as a herald or make a proclamation in a public gathering. The herald may not even have liked the message he was to proclaim or the people may not have wanted to hear it and, thus, the temptation for the herald ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Preaching, Pastors, Churches, The Word Of God

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Funniest Funeral Sermon Ever!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Dec 4, 2022

Two brothers had terrorized a small town in Alabama for decades. They lied, they cheated, they stole and they were two of the sorriest persons in the entire town. Then, unfortunately, one of the brothers died unexpectedly. The surviving brother went to the pastor of the local Baptist church. He ...read more

Tags: Death, Lies, Pastors, Churches, Funerals  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational