Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Jan 21, 2008
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You Know You’re Getting Old When…
1. You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you’re not eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out, but you stay
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Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Jan 21, 2008
In China many years ago there lived an old man, with his son and a horse. Back in those days, having a horse was like owning a car today, so you can well imagine how valuable a property the animal must have been. One morning, when the man went to his field to feed the horse, the animal was gone.
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Contributed by Aubrey Vaughan on Jan 26, 2008
The planting story : A little 8 year old boy was learning in school how plants grow, he was intrigued how a tiny seed can germinates in the ground and later burst through the ground, that week he attended a funeral where the pastor talked about the final resurrection of our bodies. Several days
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Denomination:
Baptist
based on 1 rating
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One day a ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home received a visit
from one of her fellow church members.
“How are you feeling?” the visitor asked.
“Oh,” said the lady, “I’m just worried sick!”
“What are you worried about, dear?” her friend asked. “You look like you’re in good health. They
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Glenn Durham on Mar 12, 2008
That reminds me of the four-year old boy saying his prayers one Sunday night: “Dear God, we had a good time at church today – but I wish you had been there!” What
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Denomination:
Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Mar 17, 2008
Did you know that an eleven-year-old named Sajani Shakya officially retired three weeks ago? It was reported by Reuters. She retired after nine years of being the Kumari. The Kumari is a young girl that after a rigorous cultural process to be the incarnate Hindu god, Kali. Literally Kumari is
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Denomination:
Church Of God
Have you ever found and old flashlight you haven’t used in some time. And you got to get it and it doesn’t turn on. You think those batteries were new when I put them in. Then you unscrew the top of the flashlight and the batteries have corroded and there is acid everywhere. The problem was you
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 2, 2008
There’s an old fable about a miserable rich man who went to visit a rabbi. The rabbi took the rich man by the hand and led him to a window.
"Look out there," he said. The rich man looked into the street. "What do you see?" asked the rabbi.
"I see men, women, and children," answered the rich
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Contributed by Bobby Scobey on May 20, 2008
When my daughter, Shannon, was five years old, she came into the kitchen just a few minutes before supper asking, "May I have a Twinkie" please?" I replied, "No! Supper will be served in just a few minutes."
Shannon began to moan and dance around, now demanding a Twinkie since she was STARVING!
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Jerry Mckee on Jun 5, 2008
based on 1 rating
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Old Pete had a knack for catching fish. Every weekend Old Pete went fishing and returned with dozens of fish. Nobody knew how he did it. When other fisherman were unable to land more than three or four, Old Pete always came back with stringer after stringer of freshly caught fish.
Curious, the
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Denomination:
*other
Contributed by Davon Huss on Mar 23, 2009
Kent Hughes told an old Middle Eastern story that shows the futility of salvation by works. A man was traveling on his donkey when he came upon a small fuzzy object lying in the road. He dismounted to look more closely and found a sparrow lying on its back with its scrawny legs thrust skyward.
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Warner Pidgeon on Apr 4, 2009
There’s an old story about a man who dreamed that an angel escorted him to church one Sunday. There he saw a keyboard musician playing vigorously, singers singing, and other musicians playing with gusto. But the man heard no sound. The congregation was also singing – well, most of them, but again
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Denomination:
Anglican
Contributed by Chris Surber on Apr 30, 2009
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Since my three year old son Sebastian was an infant we have prayed at meal times. If we ever appear as though we are about to eat without praying first, Sebastian will tell, “Uh Oh, daddy, you almost forgot to pray.” Our one year old son, Ephram, is getting in on the pray now too, although when
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Denomination:
Christian Church
Contributed by Chris Surber on May 6, 2009
My three year old Sebastian is often a little mimic. Christina and I have to be careful what we say to or in front of him because he will quickly adopt it as his own. Of late I have been trying, with marginal success, to teach Sebastian a little bit of Marine Corps Discipline. I have been
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Denomination:
Christian Church
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jul 30, 2009
Vance Havner, a great old saint of God, who is now with the Lord, defined revival simply, when he said, “Revival is the church
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Denomination:
Baptist
On the old Happy Days television show – which I loved to watch, Richie Cunningham had just been “grounded for life” by his father, Howard, for misbehavior. As they talked about it, Howard asked his son, “Did you know that there is a lesson in this for you?” Richie’s response was priceless: “I
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
"There is an old legend which says when Jesus had ascended into heaven, the angel Gabriel asked him,
"Lord what plans have you made for carrying on your ministry in the world? How will people learn of what you have done for them?"
Jesus responded, "I left that to Peter, James and John, Martha
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Denomination:
Anglican
Contributed by Thomas Cash on Dec 17, 2009
Jewish scribes, who kept up the Old Testament scrolls for centuries, had a nearly foolproof system for making perfect copies. First, a scribe would count the number of letters on the page to be copied. When he had finished his copy, he would count the number of letters on the new page and make sure
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Dec 24, 2009
A story from the book upon which the old movie “The Bridge on the River Quai” was based, is telling. The Irish Republican Army had a ‘buddy’ system called ‘The Mucker System.’ In this system soldiers agreed to ‘muck’ someone else. That meant the other person was more important than ones self –
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Denomination:
Presbyterian/Reformed
Sermon Central