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In Sermon Illustrations: "Off Color"

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  • Brother Reassure His Sister In Carlsbad Caverns ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 20, 2009
     | 4,380 views

    Brother Reassure His Sister in Carlsbad Caverns When Lights Turned Out Bob Woods tells the story of a couple who took their son, 11, and daughter, 7, to Carlsbad Caverns. As always, when the tour reached the deepest point in the cavern, the guide turned off all the lights to dramatize how ...read more

  • I Remember A Man In One Of My Childhood Churches. ...

    Contributed by Timothy Darling on Apr 7, 2010
     | 2,511 views

    I remember a man in one of my childhood churches. He had the most distinctive prayers. They were long, but it was also the timbre of his voice, the passion of his requests, his volume in a huge sanctuary. I could have been in Topeka and heard him pray and I would have recognized him. It had to be ...read more

  • An Angry Hospital Patient ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 1, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,791 views

    An Angry Hospital Patient Repents I read about a woman who was in the hospital when she got a bad report. She was so mad at God she went into the hospital chapel to tell God off. She was angry because she thought God had been fooling people by telling them he was a God of love. As she approached ...read more

  • Caught In The Barn  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 13, 2010
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,947 views

    CAUGHT IN THE BARN During one of his political campaigns, a delegation called on Theodore Roosevelt at his home in Oyster Bay, Long Island. The President met them with his coat off and his sleeves rolled up. "Ah, gentlemen," he said, "come down to the barn and we will talk while I do some work." ...read more

  • A Special Visitor

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 29, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,821 views

    A SPECIAL VISITOR This past Tuesday, it was difficult to drive in and out of our church parking lot because of a barrage of traffic down Webster Street. Where did this traffic come from? Downtown was blocked off because President Obama and Vice-President Biden were speaking at a closed meeting a ...read more

  • This Is Your Captain...

    Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Jan 25, 2011
     | 3,285 views

    "THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN..." The 747 jetliner taxiing down the runway, with the passengers all buckled up for takeoff. A voice came over the speakers in the plane's cabin, "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard Flight 22 for London's Heathrow Airport. We ...read more

  • Evading The "R" Word

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 17, 2011
     | 2,275 views

    EVADING THE "R" WORD Jimmy had trouble pronouncing the letter "R" so his teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: "Robert gave Richard a rap in the rib for roasting the rabbit so rare." Some days later the teacher asked him to say the sentence for her. Jimmy rattled it off like this. "Bob ...read more

  • No Picture Exists  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 3, 2011
    based on 3 ratings
     | 4,516 views

    NO PICTURE EXISTS On a wall near the main entrance to the Alamo in San Antonio, Texas, is a portrait of a man with this inscription underneath. "James Butler Bonham--no picture of him exists. This portrait is of his nephew, Major James Bonham, deceased, who greatly resembled his uncle. It is ...read more

  • So Much For Paradise

    Contributed by Brad Henry on Jul 26, 2011
     | 2,003 views

    SO MUCH FOR PARADISE Have you ever received a beautiful brochure of a vacation spot and it never felt that way when you go there? Years ago I went on a business trip to the Bahamas and the hotel and surrounding area looked beautiful. The first evening in the hotel as I was drifting off to sleep I ...read more

  • Trespasses And Debts  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 31, 2011
    based on 4 ratings
     | 5,677 views

    TRESPASSES AND DEBTS The story is told of two congregations that were located only a few blocks from each other in a small community. They thought it might be better if they would merge and become one united, larger, and more effective body rather than two struggling churches. Good idea ... but ...read more

  • Kirk Was Telling His Colleagues About A Strange ...

    Contributed by Samuel Fulkerson on Aug 23, 2012
     | 2,949 views

    Kirk was telling his colleagues about a strange dream he had the previous night. He dreamt he was in the middle of action in the old west riding a stagecoach. All of a sudden, a cowboy riding a horse appears on the right side of the stagecoach and a horse without a rider pulls up on the left. In a ...read more

  • Give Into God

    Contributed by Bruce Lee on Jun 15, 2015
    based on 1 rating
     | 6,220 views

    Psalm 66:18 "If I regard iniquity in my heart the Lord will not hear." Have you ever felt an unfamiliar and strange feeling like you should be talking to God? That is simply soul searching. It is actually God reaching out to you. But sin blocks that connection. When you "regard" or "cherish" ...read more

  • Where Adam Used To Live

    Contributed by Garris Hudson on Apr 18, 2017
     | 6,360 views

    Adam and his two sons, Cain and Abel, were out hunting one day when Adam turned and started staring at something beautiful afar off. It was the Garden of Eden. Then Adam broke down and starting weeping. The boys didn’t understand. Finally, Abel asked his father, "Dad, why are you crying over ...read more

  • If We Have Failed In Any Respect In This Matter ...

    Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Apr 13, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 857 views

    If we have failed in any respect in this matter of “go…preach” it is probably related to our limited understanding of what the church is. Bishop Leslie Newbigin, labeled as “one of the leading influences on the theology of mission” (Wilbert R. Shenk) in the 20th century, was once quoted as saying, ...read more

  • During One Of His Political Campaigns, A ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,546 views

    During one of his political campaigns, a delegation called on Theodore Roosevelt at his home in Oyster Bay, Long Island. The President met them with his coat off and his sleeves rolled up. "Ah, gentlemen," he said, "come down to the barn and we will talk while I do some work." At the barn, ...read more

  • There Was A Farmer That Found An Eagle Egg Where ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 3,973 views

    There was a farmer that found an Eagle egg where the mother had died or left the egg. So he placed it under one of his hens and it hatched in the hen house. At first, the eagle scratched like a chicken and ate like a chicken. But The bigger he got, he became aware that he was not a chicken. He ...read more

  • There Was A "One-Hour Dry Cleaners," On The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 3,166 views

    There was a "One-Hour Dry Cleaners," on the other side of town, so a man drove out of his way to drop off a suit. After filling out the tag, he told the clerk, "I need this in an hour." She said, "I can’t get this back to you until Thursday." "I thought you did dry cleaning in an hour?" "No," she ...read more

  • A Supermarket In The Midwest Could Not ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,543 views

    A supermarket in the Midwest could not understand why at a certain time every winter there sales plummeted. They studied their product line and interviewed customers. They did everything possible to uncover the mystery. Finally someone made a remarkable discovery that changed everything. It seemed ...read more

  • In The Highlands Of Scotland, Sheep Would Often ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,265 views

    In the Highlands of Scotland, sheep would often wander off into the rocks and get into places that they couldn’t get out of. The grass on these mountains is very sweet and the sheep like it, and they will jump down ten or twelve feet, and then they can’t jump back again, and the shepherd hears them ...read more

  • The Japanese Introduced A Tree To The World That ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 4 ratings
     | 3,795 views

    The Japanese introduced a tree to the world that is called a Bonsai tree. It is measured in inches instead of feet as other trees are measured. It is not allowed to reach its full growth potential but instead grows in a stunted miniature form. The reason for it growing in stunted form is that when ...read more