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In Sermon Illustrations: "Not Funny"

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  • Australia Has Two Animals Pictured On Their Coat ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2008
    based on 3 ratings
     | 1,664 views

    Australia has two animals pictured on their Coat of Arms. They are an Emu and a Kangaroo. These are some strange choices to those who don’t know why they are there. The Emu is nothing but a big, dumb bird and a kangaroo just looks funny while it hops along to escape danger. But there’s more to it ...read more

  • The Charter Flight

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 22, 2010
     | 2,206 views

    THE CHARTER FLIGHT With his request approved, the CNN News cameraman quickly used his cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He ...read more

  • The Gentleman Cat

    Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Jun 22, 2011
     | 2,035 views

    THE GENTLEMAN CAT Two men sought to prove to their king whether a man had to be "born a gentleman" or could become one by "discipline and training." The one told the other that he would prove his point regarding "training" by showing the king his cat, which he had trained to stand on its back ...read more

  • Christmas Present Unrealized

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 25, 2019
     | 3,288 views

    This is a true story. Freddie and John were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch Chelsea soccer in the UK. They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next (B14) to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have ...read more

  • A Joke To Share When Attendance In The First Service Begins To Drop

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 12, 2024
    based on 1 rating
     | 427 views

    One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor ...read more

  • When Mom Gets Sick  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 2, 2005
    based on 14 ratings
     | 4,715 views

    WHEN MOM GETS SICK Notes from a man TRYING to make Mom’s life easier while she is sick in bed... Monday A.M. Dearest: Sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed. Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: fruit-cup, finger-sandwiches. Thermos ...read more

  • The Padded Cross  PRO

    Contributed by David Parks on Mar 25, 2013
    based on 2 ratings
     | 6,993 views

    THE PADDED CROSS Well, here I am, Lord. You said, "Take up your cross," and I'm here to do it. It's not easy, You know, this self-denial thing. I mean to go through with it, through...yes, Sir. I'll bet you wish more people were willing to be disciples like me. I've counted the cost and ...read more

  • Stopping To Focus  PRO

    Contributed by Michael Gibney on Aug 9, 2002
    based on 35 ratings
     | 8,981 views

    STOPPING TO FOCUS Have you ever wondered why a pigeon walks so funny? According to an interesting article in the Detroit Free Press, a pigeon walks the way it does so it can see where it’s going. Because it can’t adjust its focus as it moves, the pigeon actually has to bring its head to a complete ...read more

  • A Counterfeiter Made A Mistake In Printing Up ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 1, 2002
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,771 views

    A counterfeiter made a mistake in printing up some funny money. Instead of printing fifty-dollar bills, he mistakenly printed up thirty-dollar bills. Not wanting to let his paper and ink go to waste he decided to pass them off on "those dumb cajans in south Louisiana". His first stop was at Mr. ...read more

  • We've Long Known That The Ability To Laugh Is ...

    Contributed by Raymond Maurer on Jul 21, 2004
     | 2,024 views

    “We’ve long known that the ability to laugh is helpful to those coping with major illness and the stress of life’s problems. But researchers are now saying laughter can do a lot more -- it can basically bring balance to all the components of the immune system, which helps us fight off ...read more

  • The Apathy Club  PRO

    Contributed by Dean O'bryan on Aug 25, 2008
    based on 9 ratings
     | 7,144 views

    The Apathy Club Did you hear about the college students who wanted to form a new organization on their campus? They called it the "Apathy Club"? Their "Apathy Club" wasn't going to be like any other student group. Where most organizations have a purpose or goal -- or some common interest to unify ...read more

  • Questions For God

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 16, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,384 views

    QUESTIONS FOR GOD I came across some post-it notes that contain brief notes that kids wrote to God. Here are a few funny ones… Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed in church. Is that OK? Dear God, I think about you sometimes even when I’m not praying. God, thank you for the baby ...read more

  • Victor Frankl: Prisoner Story

    Contributed by Bradley Kellum on Aug 25, 2009
     | 3,640 views

    VICTOR FRANKL: PRISONER STORY Victor Frankl was a Viennese psychiatrist whose entire family was captured and kept in Concentration camps in Nazi Germany. While Frankl was being held prisoner his father, mother and wife all died in camps. Only Frankl’s sister and himself survived. Dr. Frankl has ...read more

  • So What?

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 26, 2012
     | 4,111 views

    "SO WHAT?" SOCIETY When I talk about this it might seem rather funny to you or odd, because people don’t worry or care about such things today. Recent surveys in 2011 sum it up pretty well. • 44% told the 2011 Baylor University Religion Survey they spend no time seeking "eternal wisdom," and 19% ...read more

  • Cotton Pickin' Son Of God

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 28, 2014
     | 6,066 views

    We were having our weekly AWANA meeting at our church when something really funny happened. The children were sharing their Bible verse for the week -- John 3:16. One of our little boys was struggling with remembering the words. He was asked, "Can’t you remember John 3:16?" The boy struggled to ...read more

  • Prepared

    Contributed by Gaither Bailey on Nov 5, 2020
     | 5,478 views

    Almost every Sunday morning I begin my sermon with a cute or funny story. This morning I start with a sad story. Bob and Betty were 2 of my dearest friends in Indiana. A strong, loving example of what a married couple should be. However, this couple was always at least 15 minutes late for ...read more

  • James Dobson Relates This Essay Written By A 9 ...

    Contributed by Timothy Smith on Oct 25, 2006
     | 957 views

    James Dobson relates this essay written by a 9 year old girl about Grandparents, listen to what she says: "A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own. She likes other people’s little girls and boys. A grandfather is a man grandmother. He goes for walks with the boys and they talk about ...read more

  • I Remember A Young Couple, They Joyfully ...

    Contributed by Terry Cavanaugh on May 10, 2008
     | 1,118 views

    I remember a young couple, they joyfully discovered, after years of trying, they were going to have a baby. However, they were both perfectionists They did what a lot of expectant parents do, they purchased books on how to raise a child. But they went over board. They read every book they could ...read more

  • The Real Tonic Of Life

    Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Apr 26, 2010
     | 1,444 views

    THE REAL TONIC OF LIFE Lee Garfunkal's Pepsi versus Coke commercial is too funny. Pepsi is delivered to the Shady Acres Senior’s Retirement Home. The residents are talking rap over rock while Grandma zips by on a skateboard. Hi-fives are going around. One old guy loves the music pumping through ...read more

  • Afraid Of The Grave  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 24, 2011
    based on 2 ratings
     | 5,530 views

    AFRAID OF THE GRAVE Cemeteries can be spooky places. I heard a funny story about a guy in Scotland we'll call Ian McGregor. After a long evening in the pub, Ian took a shortcut to his house that took him through a dark cemetery. He accidentally fell into a freshly dug grave. Ian tried to climb ...read more