Contributed by Don Hawks on Jun 19, 2002
based on 1 rating
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From a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip);
CALVIN (Calling father at work): Hi Dad, it’s me Calvin. How’s Work Going? Uh-huh. Pretty out isn’t it? Yup. Are you bringing me any presents home tonight?..No? Well I just thought I’d ask. Listen, I suppose you’re wondering why I
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Methodist
Contributed by Paul Fritz on Oct 18, 2000
based on 9 ratings
| 2,587 views
The young salesman was disappointed about losing a big sale, and as he talked with his sales manager he lamented, "I guess it just proves you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink." The manager replied, "Son, take my advice: your job is not to make him drink. Your job is to make
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
based on 48 ratings
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The clock of life is wound but once,
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop.
At late or early hour.
To lose one’s wealth is sad indeed.
To lose one’s health is more,
To lose one’s soul is such a loss
That no man can restore.
Thirty-nine people died while you read this
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Methodist
Contributed by John Beehler on Apr 16, 2003
based on 2 ratings
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On one occasion Michelangelo turned to his fellow artists and said with frustration in his voice, "Why do you keep filling gallery after gallery with endless pictures on the one theme of Christ in weakness, Christ on the cross, and most of all, Christ hanging dead?" he asked. "Why do you
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 22, 2003
based on 5 ratings
| 5,497 views
TOP 10 THINGS TO DO INSIDE A WHALE
10) “Can you hear me now?”
9) Pray … he’s bulemic
8) Bonfire and fish fry!
7) Open a sushi bar
6) "Consider it pure joy"
5) Floss … the whale
4) Finally get motivated to read Moby Dick
3) Listen to tapes of your preacher’s old
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Contributed by Evie Megginson on Feb 6, 2004
A minister, going through a mental institution, was stopped by a woman, who asked: "Mr. Minister, what work of man will there be in Heaven?" "None, my dear lady," he said, thinking to answer as quickly as possible and get away. "Oh, yes, there will! Can’t you tell me?" "No, I cannot; but will you
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Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 23, 2004
based on 21 ratings
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KEEPING COMPASSION
Finding his newly-appointed pastor standing at his study window in the church weeping as he looked over the inner city’s tragic conditions, a layman sought to console him: "Don’t worry. After you’ve been here a while, you’ll get used to it."
Responded the minister, "Yes, I
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based on 2 ratings
| 5,469 views
The clock of life is wound but once, And no man has the power To tell just when the hands will stop. At late or early hour. To lose one’s wealth is sad indeed. To lose one’s health is more. To lose one’s soul is such a loss that no man can restore. Thirty-nine people died while you read this
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Joe Fornear on Oct 20, 2004
based on 6 ratings
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A couple of opposing candidates for county office were sitting near each other in the local diner... One turned to the other and said, "You know why I’m going to win this election? Because of my ’personal touch.’ For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me."
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Martin Kim on Oct 25, 2004
Dr. George Wald is a Harvard biologist who won a Nobel Prize. I would like to share with you what he wrote. “What one really needs is not the Nobel prize, but love. How do you think one gets to be a Nobel prize winner? Wanting love, that’s how. Wanting it so bad one works all the time. He
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Adventist
TUG OF WAR
We play tug of war. The team that is able to pull the other team over their side wins. Each member must pull with his or her strength and body weight. We are all different - some stronger, some weaker; some fat some thin; but all must put their strength and weight in. It doesn’t
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by James Gallop on Mar 27, 2005
based on 6 ratings
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The great Christian reformer, Martin Luther, in fact, once spent three days in a black depression over something that had gone wrong. On the third day his wife came downstairs dressed in mourning clothes.
"Who’s dead?" he asked her.
"God," she replied.
Luther rebuked her, saying, "What do you
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Methodist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 22, 2005
based on 6 ratings
| 3,027 views
Two 6 year olds struggled with the problem of the existence of the devil. One boy said, “Oh, there isn’t any devil.” The other, rather upset, said, “What do you mean, there isn’t any devil? It talks about him all the way through the Bible!” the first replied, “Oh that’s not true, you know. It’s
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Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Dec 31, 2005
based on 2 ratings
| 1,423 views
C.S. Lewis says of true friendship, “True friendship is rare on earth. It means identifying with someone in thought, heart, and spirit. The whole experience of life is designed to enable us to enter in to this closest relationship with Jesus Christ. We receive His blessings and know His Word, but
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Salvation Army
Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 30, 2006
based on 6 ratings
| 6,582 views
Boat Compromise"
My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway. "I’ll tell you what," he told her, "In the spirit of compromise, why don’t you name the boat?"
Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage,
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Sermon Central