Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
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Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.” The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on.
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
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A man was irritated by his wife’s refusal to admit her hearing problem. Speaking with his doctor one day he asked, “How can I get my wife to admit that she needs a hearing aid?”
“I’ll tell you what you need to do,” his doctor replied. When you get home peek your head through the door and ask,
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Contributed by Fran Van Hoven on Jun 30, 2007
LESSONS OF FAILURE
Lord, are you trying to tell me something?
For... Failure does not mean I’m a failure;
It only means that I have not yet succeeded.
Failure does not mean I have accomplished nothing;
It does mean I have learned something.
Failure does not mean I have been a fool;
It does mean
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Denomination:
Assembly Of God
Contributed by Art Good on Jul 26, 2007
Illus. The other night I put the boys into bed. “Good night, go to bed, no talking. See you in the morning” Pretty clear right?
I was 5 feet from the door and I heard them talking.
So I went back in. Reminded them, no talking. Go to bed!
10 minutes later I hear giggling. I walk in just as
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 21, 2007
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An undertaker ask a local new minister to preach a funeral for a person of no friends, money, or known relatives. The funeral director felt so bad already at the cheap coffin. The new minister responded gladly. The directions were vague and 8 miles into a wooded area and set for 2pm. Panically,
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Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Oct 24, 2007
Remember to look at the possibilities in the area you see. (You see some things but don’t actually look at them.) We used the FedEx logo during our Gripped For Greatness campaign last year. We asked if you saw all you were looking at.
Between the last two letters of FedEx you can see an arrow
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Dec 10, 2007
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Walking by a pet store to school, a young boy had stopped to stare at four black puppies that were playing together. He pleaded with his mom later that day to let him have one. “I’ll take care of it. I promise. I will even use the money from my allowance that I’ve saved to buy it.”
The mother
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Denomination:
Church Of God
Contributed by Richard Goble on Dec 30, 2007
Cast In A Line For Yourself
A poor, hungry man stood idly on a bridge watching some fishermen. Seeing one of them with a basket full of fish by his side, he said, "if I had a catch like that, I’d be happy. I’d sell it and buy some food and clothes."
"I’ll give you that many fish if you do a
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Jim Kane on Jan 7, 2008
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Holidays get interesting don’t they? They bring out the best in people and they also, unfortunately, bring out the worst in people. I’ll have you determine which is true in the following story.
The day before Thanksgiving an elderly man in Phoenix called his son in New York and said to him, "I hate
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Denomination:
Church Of God
Contributed by Michael Wiley on Mar 20, 2008
ILL - In 2006 Elizabeth Shoaf was abducted while walking home from school.
The predator was a local man – weird past…
He put Elizabeth in a bunker he had dug in the woods, and there molested her for 14 days!
How do you survive that?
Elizabeth used several techniques to shut her mind down and keep
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Jim Kane on Apr 7, 2008
It has been interesting to have a female cat in the house because there have been moments, when either real or playing, one of the boys has cried and Hanna (yes that is her name, Hanna) has come running to check them out.
She gets in their face and sniffs and by her actions you can tell she is
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Denomination:
Church Of God
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Apr 17, 2008
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BLOOM WHERE YOU'RE PLANTED
In the eleventh century, King Henry III of Bavaria grew tired of court life and the pressures of being a monarch. He made application to Prior Richard at a local monastery, asking to be accepted as a contemplative and spend the rest of his life in the monastery. "Your
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Denomination:
Baptist
GOD GAVE ME THE LIGHT
I remember back when I graduated from college and was beginning to interview for ministry positions. I was being looked at by three churches, but I wanted God to be able to guide in where I would go, so I agreed to go to the first church that would give me the official call.
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
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