Contributed by George Rennau on Feb 19, 2001
based on 90 ratings
| 6,410 views
A condemned prisoner awaiting execution was granted the usual privilege of choosing the dishes he wanted to eat for his last meal. He ordered a large mess of mushrooms.
"Why all the mushrooms and nothing else?" inquired the guard.
"Well,"
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Denomination:
Assembly Of God
Contributed by Robert Leroe on Jul 5, 2002
based on 55 ratings
| 2,397 views
A friend of mine, an Army Major, was attending a military ball at a fancy hotel and made the mistake of standing by the entrance in his formal dress mess uniform. An arriving guest thought this officer was the doorman and handed him his bags! We
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Congregational
Contributed by Coz Von on Aug 27, 2017
based on 3 ratings
| 4,948 views
The Davinci code will tell you that Jesus was married Mary.
is it so? NO, NO, AND - mil times NO – NOT!
But I want to show you that God did get married.
Blasphemy, you say, NOT SO, It’s irreverent, sacrilegious – and not true
But He really did! Hear me out.
Long, long ago in a land far far away
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 14, 2003
based on 7 ratings
| 2,243 views
A substitute kindergarten teacher at Forest Hills Elementary School in Coral Springs, Fla., is under fire after telling her class that there is no Santa Claus. By the time parent Melissa Shea complained to assistant principal Lisa George, Fabiola Mehu-Pelissier had already been spoken to, with
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 17, 2006
based on 1 rating
| 1,517 views
Robert Fulghum wrote in the Kansas City Times, "Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.
"These are the things I learned:
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Contributed by Timothy Smith on Oct 25, 2006
"Where did the Grandma of yesterday go? The Grandma that took all the kids to the show; who stopped by to chat & before we could ask it; had tackled the laundry that spilled from the basket.
Who offered to mend and made the girls dresses; and who pitched in to help when the toddler made messes;
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Denomination:
Christian Church
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jun 19, 2004
based on 1 rating
| 2,115 views
When your own faithlessness and distrust of God has gotten you in a mess, donâ't start blaming the preacher, or other saints. Lay the blame where it belongs, on your on shoulders.
It is said that when the British and French were fighting in Canada in the 1750s, Admiral Phipps, commander of the
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Baptist
Contributed by Bill Burress on Jan 21, 2010
Illustration: Let’s say you and your spouse are going away for a couple of days and you leave your teenager at home by their self. Now before you go you give instructions that you don’t want any parties, they are not to drive dad’s sports car, and they are not to be out after midnight the nights
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Bobby Scobey on May 4, 2009
What Happened Here Today?
One day a man came home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were empty food boxes and wrappers all around.
As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess. Dishes on
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
CLEAN HOUSE
This summer Susan and I discovered a reality show called CLEAN HOUSE (Style Channel). Have some of you seen it? It's a show where a team of people come in help people with a hopelessly messy house by cleaning it out. The host is a comedian named Niecy Nash. When she first enters the
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Robert Leroe on Jul 6, 2002
based on 8 ratings
| 2,838 views
It’s pretty common to complain about things. During a military exercise at Eglin AFB, Florida, as I was standing in line at the mess tent, I heard a disgruntled soldier ahead of me say, "What! Lobster again?!" I’m convinced that some people could live in a suite at the Copley Plaza Hotel in Boston
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Denomination:
Congregational
Contributed by Larry Wilson on Jul 30, 2010
based on 1 rating
| 5,192 views
THE MEASURE OF GOD'S WORD
The Word of God is the measure of our lives. Imagine different teams of men building a house with everyone measuring by their foot, not tape measure. The carpentry, flooring, coverings, windows and doors would be a mess. It simply would not come together. That's why we
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Denomination:
Baptist
based on 113 ratings
| 7,759 views
A soldier fighting over in Iraq received a letter from his girl friend that said she was breaking up with him. She also asked him to send the picture she had given him when he left because she needed it for her bridal announcement. The soldier was heart broken and told his friends of his terrible
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Richard Goble on Nov 16, 2007
Robert Fulghum writes, “All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don’t hit
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Melvin Newland on Oct 11, 2001
based on 67 ratings
| 1,540 views
ILL. A few years ago, Time Magazine featured a story about Peter Sellers. It told about him appearing on the Muppet Show & being interviewed by Kermit The Frog. His interview began with Kermit telling Peter Sellers, "Now, just relax & be yourself."
Peter Sellers responded, "I can’t be myself
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 9, 2009
based on 4 ratings
| 3,559 views
PEER PRESSURE AND FLIES
Once a spider built a beautiful web in an old house. He kept it clean and shiny so that flies would patronize it. The minute he got a "customer" he would clean up after him so the other flies would not get suspicious.
Then one day this fairly intelligent fly came buzzing
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Sermon Central