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In Sermon Illustrations: "Me"

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  • These Are Actual Answering Machine Answers ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,398 views

    These are actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world-famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers *Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They ...read more

  • Here's How Several Elementary School Students ...  PRO

    Contributed by Johnny Creasong on Aug 22, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,251 views

    Here’s how several elementary school students answered the following questions about moms: Why did God make mothers? • She’s the only one who knows where the Scotch tape is. • Mostly to clean the house. • To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? • He used ...read more

  • Dr. Norman Shawchuck Has Pastored United ...

    Contributed by R. David Reynolds on Sep 1, 2007
     | 1,789 views

    Dr. Norman Shawchuck has pastored United Methodist congregations in North Dakota and Indiana and is a prolific author and retreat leader in the area of spiritual formation. His contemporary prayer of repentance is so personally powerful: “O God, I surrender to you the habits and sins that, like ...read more

  • Bob Russell, A Preacher In Kentucky, Tells Of ...

    Contributed by Timothy Smith on Sep 23, 2007
     | 1,282 views

    Bob Russell, a preacher in Kentucky, tells of calling Baptist East Hospital late one night to check on one of his elderly members. The operator transferred him to a nurse who answered, "Pediatrics." Bob said, "Pediatrics? I’m checking on a lady that’s 87 years old! I’ve got the wrong floor." Bob ...read more

  • I Close With A Story From Becky Tirabassi Whose ...

    Contributed by Jim Kane on Feb 18, 2008
     | 965 views

    I close with a story from Becky Tirabassi whose wrote the article posted at Christianity Today.com I spoke of earlier that illustrates one young man’s desire to be free in Christ. While speaking at Oregon State, ‘in front of 1,000 students,’ she wrote, ‘near the end of my message, a young man ...read more

  • Ah, Life Is So Full Of Choices. Sometimes We ...  PRO

    Contributed by Darren Mccormick on Feb 26, 2008
    based on 17 ratings
     | 3,615 views

    Ah, life is so full of choices. Sometimes we choose wisely. Sometimes not so wisely---like the little boy whose older brother talked into letting him crack some eggs on his head. The two of them were getting ready to boil some eggs so they could decorate them for Easter when the older brother ...read more

  • There Was A Little Fellow Who Was Returning Home ...

    Contributed by Scott Carroll on Mar 8, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,972 views

    There was a little fellow who was returning home from a store with a pail of honey in his hand. A gentleman who walked beside him saw him slip one finger down into the pail. Then, because his mother had told him never to wipe his sticky fingers on his blouse or trousers, it found its only logical ...read more

  • An Important Business Executive Boarded The ...

    Contributed by Jimmy Chapman on Apr 3, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,539 views

    An important business executive boarded the New-Orleans-to-Washington train. He was a heavy sleeper, and he needed to be awakened in order to get off the train in Atlanta about 5 o’clock in the morning. He found a porter and told him, "I want you to awaken me in order that I might get off the ...read more

  • But In These Last Days He Has Spoken To Us By ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 3, 2008
     | 2,675 views

    “But in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son.” Ingmar Bergman is a celebrated Swedish filmmaker. He tells the story of how one day he was listening to the works of classical composer Igor Stravinsky. As he was listening to the music, he began to daydream about a 19th-century cathedral. ...read more

  • Choice Contemporary Stories & ...

    Contributed by Troy Borst on Apr 10, 2008
     | 2,950 views

    ILLUSTRATION… Choice Contemporary Stories & Illustrations For Preachers, Teachers, & Writers Craig Brian Larson, Baker Books, p. 166. Ruth Ryan, wife of Hall of Fame pitcher Nolan Ryan, had one moment she looked forward to in every one of her husband’s games. In Covering Home, she writes: It ...read more

  • Completely Innocent?

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Apr 22, 2008
     | 2,125 views

    COMPLETELY INNOCENT? Have you ever been accused of something when you were completely innocent? The time that stands out in my mind was a traffic ticket. Now don't get me wrong ... I've had plenty of traffic tickets when I was pretty much guilty. But this time, I was completely innocent. When ...read more

  • It Was A Busy Day In Our Costa Mesa, California, ...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on May 20, 2008
     | 1,746 views

    It was a busy day in our Costa Mesa, California, home. But then, with 6 children and one on the way, every day was a bit hectic. On this particular day, however, I was having trouble doing even routine chores -- all because of one little boy. Len, who was three at the time, was on my heels no ...read more

  • God The Rebuilder  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 23, 2008
    based on 17 ratings
     | 8,095 views

    GOD THE REBUILDER Three men are hiking and they come upon a large raging river. They need to get to the other side, but they don’t know how. The first man says, "God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gives him big arms and strong legs, and he swims across the raging river. It ...read more

  • Pickup In The Rain

    Contributed by Bill Butsko on Aug 16, 2008
     | 2,794 views

    PICKUP IN THE RAIN One night in the 1960s, at 11:30 p.m., an older African-American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a windy rain storm which was accompanied by lightning. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to ...read more

  • I Recently Heard A Woman Talk About How Her ...

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Aug 18, 2008
     | 1,426 views

    I recently heard a woman talk about how her spiritual mentor gave her explicit instructions to make amends. She didn’t want to do it. Apparently she blew up at a bank teller and was rude and nasty even though it wasn’t the teller’s fault. This woman didn’t want to apologize even though she knew ...read more

  • Silence: Taking Your Soul With You  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 25, 2009
    based on 10 ratings
     | 5,155 views

    SILENCE: TAKING YOUR SOUL WITH YOU Author Kathleen Norris used to play a game with elementary-school children in which she would make a deal with them. "First you get to make noise," she would bargain, "and then you’ll make silence." The time of noise was always predictably chaotic -- shouting, ...read more

  • You Can't Take It With ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 10, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,106 views

    YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU Ann Landers had an interesting letter in one of her columns. She wrote about a man who earned a very good living, but refused to spend the money on anything. When he was dying, he said to his wife, "I want you to promise me one thing. Promise me that when I’m dead you’ll ...read more

  • Brain ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 23, 2009
     | 4,609 views

    Brain Translplant There’s a story about a wealthy man who was terminally ill. The doctor said, "There’s only “one thing” that will save you. “A brain transplant.” - It’s an experimental operation. And it’s very expensive." The wealthy guy said, - "Money is no object. Can you get me a brain?" The ...read more

  • I ...

    Contributed by Paul Carlson on Jan 25, 2010
     | 1,398 views

    ILLUSTRATION How many of us had to be taught how to talk back to your parents? How may of us had to be taught how to cheat on a test or our tax return? How many of us had to be taught how to lie? How many of us had to be taught how to be selfish? Just as all of us don’t need to be taught how to ...read more

  • Inheritance

    Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Mar 9, 2010
     | 5,326 views

    INHERITANCE WHEN MY DAD DIED, I INHERITED A TAP COLLECTION! Brass taps! I’ve never heard of someone who collects taps. Every shape and variety of brass taps. They were too heavy to put them in my suitcase so I placed them in a carry-on-bag as I went to the airport. My bag was taken through the ...read more