In Sermon Illustrations: "Humor"

The Woman And Acts 2:38

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 1, 2014

THE WOMAN AND ACTS 2:38 An elderly woman had just returned to her home from a church service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop--Acts 2:38!" (..repent, turn from your sin..".). The burglar stopped dead ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:38

Tags: Prayer, Repent, Humor

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

I Sure Do Miss St. Sanity

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 17, 2019

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and me recently celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary. It sure does not seem we have been married that long. I guess, as you get older, according to my grandmother, time goes faster. If that is true, I must be getting older. We met in September, became ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:6

Tags: Politics, Humor, Sanity

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Hymns For Each Business

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 15, 2019

The Weatherman's Hymn - There Shall Be Showers Of Blessings. The Contractor's Hymn - The Church's One Foundation. The Tailor's Hymn - Holy, Holy, Holy. The Politician's Hymn - Standing On The Promises. The Optometrist's Hymn - Open My Eyes That I May See. The ...read more

Scripture: John 10:9-10

Tags: Humor, Laughter, Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Love Bugs Are Really Not That Loving

Contributed by James Snyder on May 16, 2020

Here in Florida, we have what people call "Love Bugs." I know exactly why they are called “Love Bugs,” but I am not fond of these little critters. Why don’t they just get a motel room? Being shut down at home for quite a while it is not that exciting. You can only be shut down for so ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Humor, Love Bugs

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

A Family Stare Off Competition

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 4, 2020

During the last several months, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I have spent some quality time together. I’m assuming this is quality time, but I will have to get second opinion evidence about that. Overall, we have been enjoying our time together without any interruptions, as usually ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 26:27

Tags: Humor, Competition, Movies

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

It’s Not Always What It Seems

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 11, 2020

There are times when my bad hearing is a blessing. I'm not sure if I'm not listening or not hearing. It’s hard for me to tell. For example, the other night, right after midnight, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I were pretty much sound asleep. There was more sound on the other ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 21:2

Tags: Humor, Storms, Rioting

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

If I Had A Nickel For Every Blunder I Made…

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 18, 2020

I am not very agile when it comes to finances. Do not get me wrong, I know how to spend money; it is just that I do not know how to save money. Somewhere I lost my little piggy bank. One of my father's favorite quotes was, "A penny saved is a penny earned." It never made sense to me, ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 1:8-9

Tags: Remember, Mistakes, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

It’s My Birthday I’ll Lie If I Want To

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 25, 2020

I’m not a proponent of lying. I don't like it when people lie. If they lie once, how do you know they're not lying again? Lately, I've been thinking about what the definition of a lie really is. Is there some time when telling a lie is the best to do? And, is every lie a ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 40:4

Tags: Truth, Humor, Lies

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Oh, To Be Crazy And Get Paid For It

Contributed by James Snyder on Sep 26, 2020

I usually don't complain a lot. When I do I get caught in some dilemma that I can’t talk my way out. You think I would learn my lesson, but I'm still in the learning curve. It was a long week, and the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I had a busy schedule. She went her way, I went my ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 5:10

Tags: Money, Politics, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

All In Due Time, So She Says

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 17, 2020

For several weeks, or has it been years, I’ve been waiting for an important package to come through the mail. I don’t know why they call it snail mail because I have seen snails crawl faster. With all our technology today, you would think that mail could come in on a particular schedule, and ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

Tags: Time, Humor, Patience

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Things Have A Way Of Catching Up With Me

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 31, 2020

I have learned in my life, and probably just one thing: things have a way of catching up with me. I can't get away with anything. It's not that I don't try. There were a few times when I've come pretty close to getting away with something, but it didn't turn out the way I ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:7

Tags: Money, Humor, Fraud

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Red Isn’t Always The Red I See

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 2, 2021

It is not that I am colorblind; I just am color indifferent. Red and blue and yellow are all the same to me. This, on many occasions, has challenged the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, who is very meticulous when it comes to describing anything or anyone. In remodeling my office at the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 20:12

Tags: Christmas, Humor, Gifts

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Insecure Boyfriend Wanted A New Sign!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 4, 2021

Driving through Southern California, a man stopped at a roadside stand that sold fruit, vegetables and crafts. As he went to pay, he noticed the pretty young woman behind the counter was painting a sign. "Why the new sign?" he asked. "My boyfriend didn't approve of the old ...read more

Tags: Marriage, Humor, Jealousy

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Be Careful What You Smile About

Contributed by James Snyder on Mar 20, 2021

Dr. James L. Snyder I am a student of smileology and have been just about all my life. If you can't smile at something, it's not worth thinking about. Of course, certain things in life are serious, but not that many. Too many people take everything seriously and ruin their life. These are ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 4:4-5

Tags: Humor, Facebook, Lockedout

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Seeing Can Be Rather Expensive

Contributed by James Snyder on Apr 3, 2021

As I get older, and my goal is to get as old as I can, I begin to realize some of the things I haven't noticed in my life. You know how it is; things creep up little by little, and then all of a sudden, there it is. That happened to me recently with my eyes. Since I was in the ninth grade (I ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 27:1

Tags: Sight, Humor, Blessings

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

I May Be A Knucklehead, But I'm Not Insane

Contributed by James Snyder on May 15, 2021

Nobody is perfect except maybe the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage comes close. I've never caught her in some imperfection, or if I had, nobody would know it from me. There is such an obsession today for people to be perfect. And, of course, their definition of perfect is what they are. ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Humor, Family, Agreement

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Temptation Is Oh So Tempting

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 7, 2021

At the beginning of the week, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage informed me that she and some of her friends would be going thrift store shopping on Thursday. I nodded my head and smiled, not knowing where she was going with this. “Now,” she said, “you will have to take care of your lunch. ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 10:13

Tags: Temptations, Yielding, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Are You Ready For Fall?

Contributed by James Snyder on Sep 11, 2021

With such a tumultuous summer, I’m glad we are now beginning the fall season. There for a while, I didn’t think it was going to come. But, contrary to my negativity, it has arrived, and I’m delighted. Summer wasn’t quite the way summers have been in the past. My family didn’t have many ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1

Tags: Humor, Blessings, Seasons

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Ready Or Not, Here I Quit

Contributed by James Snyder on Sep 18, 2021

I do not quit easily. When I start a project, I like to work until it's finished. I hate to quit before something is completed. One thing I have learned through the years is not to start something unless I have the time and resources to finish it. How many projects I started in the past and ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Quitting, Agreement, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Story Is Told About A Poor Widow Lady With 5 ...  PRO

Contributed by Clint Palmer on Nov 22, 2007

The story is told about a poor Widow lady with 5 Kids who Everyday came out on to her front porch, raised her hands to Heaven & Prayed out loud, “Lord, you know I have No food in my cabinets to feed my children today! Please provide our daily needs!” Her next door neighbor was an “Atheist” ...read more

Tags: Praise, Trust, Humor

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ