Contributed by Pat Cook on Jun 13, 2003
based on 2 ratings
| 2,225 views
According to the “Almanac for Farmers & City Folk,” the largest number of collect calls is made on Father’s Day. Today, your Heavenly Father is calling out to you. He’s been trying to get through for some time. Long before you thought of Him, He thought of you. But He’s not calling collect. He
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Baptist
Contributed by Tom Doubt on Jul 11, 2003
based on 2 ratings
| 1,417 views
The Washington Capitals were playing the Florida Panthers [Feb. 1997]. The Capitals Peter Bondra kneed the Panthers Ray Shepphard, who had to be carried off the ice. Bondra was given a 5 minute major penalty. The next period, Johan Garpenlov of the Panthers slashed the Capitals Joe Juneau, who
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Baptist
Contributed by Brian La Croix on Aug 12, 2003
based on 7 ratings
| 2,381 views
Christian rock pioneer Larry Norman gives an example of how we let religious talk get in the way of communicating to people.
He says we generally go up to a guy and say, “Hey, have you been saved?”
“What?”
“Have you been born again?”
“What?”
“You know, washed in the blood?”
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Wesleyan
Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 22, 2003
based on 5 ratings
| 5,352 views
TOP 10 THINGS TO DO INSIDE A WHALE
10) “Can you hear me now?”
9) Pray … he’s bulemic
8) Bonfire and fish fry!
7) Open a sushi bar
6) "Consider it pure joy"
5) Floss … the whale
4) Finally get motivated to read Moby Dick
3) Listen to tapes of your preacher’s old
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Contributed by Evie Megginson on Feb 6, 2004
A minister, going through a mental institution, was stopped by a woman, who asked: "Mr. Minister, what work of man will there be in Heaven?" "None, my dear lady," he said, thinking to answer as quickly as possible and get away. "Oh, yes, there will! Can’t you tell me?" "No, I cannot; but will you
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Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 23, 2004
based on 21 ratings
| 6,595 views
KEEPING COMPASSION
Finding his newly-appointed pastor standing at his study window in the church weeping as he looked over the inner city’s tragic conditions, a layman sought to console him: "Don’t worry. After you’ve been here a while, you’ll get used to it."
Responded the minister, "Yes, I
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Contributed by Ken Gilmore on Jul 7, 2004
based on 8 ratings
| 3,908 views
• A forgetful husband thought he had conquered the problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided him with dates and instructions to send flowers along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was
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Baptist
Contributed by Paul Wallace on Aug 24, 2004
based on 2 ratings
| 3,522 views
The Juggler
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are those machetes doing in your car?” asks the cop.
“I juggle them in my act.”
“Oh, yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Let’s see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives.
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Wesleyan
based on 5 ratings
| 3,929 views
I heard about a rich man who was determined to take his wealth with him. He told his wife to get all his money together, put it in a sack, and then hang the sack from the rafters in the attic. He said, "When my spirit is caught up to heaven, I’ll grab the sack on my way." Well he eventually died,
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 10, 2004
E. Rick Stedman, minister of the Adventure Christian Church in Roseville, California, has a “no sarcasm” rule for his church staff. He says that what makes people laugh at sarcasm is that it always has a nugget of truth in it. That little bit of truth is what hurts people. So “no sarcasm” is the
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Contributed by Martin Kim on Oct 25, 2004
Dr. George Wald is a Harvard biologist who won a Nobel Prize. I would like to share with you what he wrote. “What one really needs is not the Nobel prize, but love. How do you think one gets to be a Nobel prize winner? Wanting love, that’s how. Wanting it so bad one works all the time. He
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Adventist
Contributed by Ted Mulder on Dec 30, 2004
based on 1 rating
| 2,744 views
"The minute the bankruptcy is over, the high-risk lenders inundate them with credit applications," says Charles Juntikka, a bankruptcy attorney in New York. Some credit-card companies love lending to post-bankruptcy people because they know you can’t file Chapter 7 again for six years, and "many
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Tom Mccrossan on Mar 27, 2005
based on 9 ratings
| 3,562 views
A pastor was talking to a group of young people about the high cost of dying. "People today waste thousands of dollars on coffins and monuments," he said. "Jesus was so unconcerned by His death that He had to use a borrowed tomb."
Leave it to our youth to get to the bottom line and put things in
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
based on 9 ratings
| 3,653 views
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about
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Contributed by D. Greg Ebie on Apr 27, 2006
based on 3 ratings
| 1,599 views
ILLUSTRATION: For years scientists were puzzled about apples that had worms in them but had no breaks in the surface of the apple! How did they get inside when there did not appear any outward signs of entrance? What they discovered was that a certain worm lays its eggs right on the apple
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Assembly Of God
Contributed by Kent Kessler on Dec 27, 2006
based on 3 ratings
| 29,020 views
A little boy was standing by his father watching him trying to put a floppy disk into his computer. The father was having trouble getting the disk to go in all of the way. The little boy said to his father, “Maybe it has a penny in it?”
Sure enough, when the father fished around inside where the
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Methodist
based on 6 ratings
| 3,234 views
You may have heard of the man who complained to his friend...he said I just can’t take it anymore.. His friend says, well what’s wrong? He said it’s my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical! He says, you mean HYSTERICAL don’t you?
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Baptist
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