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In Sermon Illustrations: "G M Landis"

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  • Speaking Of Getting The Log Out, A Wife Was ...

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Mar 25, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,924 views

    Speaking of getting the log out, a wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOODNESS! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. WHERE ...read more

  • Eternity Magazine Contained A New Item On ...

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Jun 9, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,861 views

    Eternity magazine contained a new item on immortality and people's fascination with it. The article read: “The quest for pseudoimmortality took a giant leap forward with the announcement that you can send your remains "to the heavens" when you die. The Celestis Group of Melbourne, Florida, has ...read more

  • Trials Of Getting ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 21, 2008
     | 6,511 views

    TRIALS OF GETTING OLDER Three elderly ladies were discussing the trials of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember if I need to put it away or start making a sandwich." The second lady ...read more

  • A Girl Said, "My Mother And I Returned To My ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,294 views

    A girl said, “My mother and I returned to my parents’ house late one evening to find my father, my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asleep. “Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first at the back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my ...read more

  • Raffling A Dead Donkey

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 13, 2011
     | 2,748 views

    RAFFLING A DEAD DONKEY Jean Paul, a Cajun, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I got some bad news. The donkey died." "Well then, just give me my money ...read more

  • Resurrection Plant

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Jan 20, 2014
    based on 1 rating
     | 8,688 views

    As a boy I saw an advertisement in a comic book that appealed to my scientific nature. The product being offered for sale was called a "miracle plant." The ad declared that the plant would be dead when received by the purchaser; but when placed in water, it would soon "miraculously" return to ...read more

  • The Lonely Frog

    Contributed by Isaac Butterworth on Dec 8, 2014
    based on 1 rating
     | 7,129 views

    You’ve heard the one, I ‘m sure, about the lonely frog who goes to see a fortune-teller. He’s told not to worry. She says, “You’re going to meet a beautiful young girl, and she will want to know everything about you.” “That’s great!” the excited frog says. “When will I meet her?” And the psychic ...read more

  • Survivor Eva Hart Remembers The Night, April ...

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Jul 3, 2015
     | 4,261 views

    Survivor Eva Hart remembers the night, April 15, 1912, on which the Titanic plunged 12,000 feet to the Atlantic floor, some two hours and forty minutes after an iceberg tore a 300-foot gash in the starboard side: "I saw all the horror of its sinking, and I heard, even more dreadful, the cries of ...read more

  • How Will You Face Death?

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 13, 2019
     | 2,310 views

    Voltaire, one of history’s best known atheists, often stated that “by the time I’m buried, the Bible will be non--existent.” His last words were: “I am abandoned by God and man; I shall die and go to hell alone.” His condition had become so terrible that his associates were afraid to approach ...read more

  • Thank You, Mom, For Being Strong For Me

    Contributed by Jerry Cosper on May 4, 2020
     | 2,833 views

    It almost brings tears to my eyes when I watch the commercials where the child is growing up and is leaving home for college, or to get married and live in another city. I think about how difficult it must have been for my mom to watch me drive off to college in another city. And then later to ...read more

  • Easter Service Mishap

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Apr 12, 2021
     | 2,207 views

    One year, a bunch of friends and I decided to go to a sunrise service at a super fancy church. This church looks like a European cathedral and we were all dressed up for 5 a.m. singing around a huge fire outside and then going inside for service. Everyone had candles and the whole service is by ...read more

  • A Parrot Named Moses

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 14, 2021
     | 2,774 views

    A PARROT NAMED MOSES A thief broke into a beautiful suburban house and was looking around for things to steal when he heard a voice say, “Better be careful…Jesus is watching you!” He stopped for a moment and heard it again… The surprised thief froze in his tracks and looked around, shining the ...read more

  • The Noted Historian And Oxford Professor Thomas ...

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Apr 13, 2009
     | 1,719 views

    The noted historian and Oxford professor Thomas Arnold wrote: "The evidence for our Lord’s life and death and resurrection may be, and often has been, shown to be satisfactory; it is good according to the common rules for distinguishing good evidence from bad. Thousands and tens of thousands of ...read more

  • Giving Up Cussing  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 15, 2009
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,952 views

    GIVING UP CUSSING A little boy was sitting sadly on the curb beside his lawn mower, when along came a minister riding a bicycle. The minister noticed that the boy appeared discouraged, so he thought he would try to help. "Hello there!" said the minister. "How would you like to trade your lawn ...read more

  • Running The Other ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 25, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,578 views

    RUNNING THE OTHER WAY Bob Vernon, a 37 year veteran with the Los Angeles Police Department talked about this in his book: L.A. Justice, "Our department tried to demonstrate to rookie officers the value of their bullet-proof vests by placing them on mannequins and then shooting round after round at ...read more

  • Ill<><hand ...

    Contributed by West Garner on Jun 29, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,106 views

    Ill<><Hand Illustration There those that choose not to live under God’s hand. They don’t trust God lead & Control their lives so they live above His mighty hand. They make all the calls in their life. They are the boss. They know what is best. Some of them may hope that God we bless what they do ...read more

  • I Sat In A Courtroom As A Witness For The Motel ...

    Contributed by Jerry Blaxton on Aug 27, 2009
     | 1,802 views

    I sat in a courtroom as a witness for the motel I was working for, and, we were waiting on our case to come up, and one of the cases that was presented, was a man who stole food from a grocery store, and the reason he gave was that he and his family were hungry. Now, it is a terrible thing that we ...read more

  • Afraid Of What?

    Contributed by Melvin Newland on Sep 3, 2009
     | 8,885 views

    AFRAID OF WHAT? Jack Benson was a missionary to China. He was held up by some bandits who took all his valuables & then held a gun to his head & forced him to kneel in the road. They told him they were going to shoot him. Benson knelt calmly, maintaining his composure through it all. The ...read more

  • More Than A Black Mark

    Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
     | 1,413 views

    MORE THAN A BLACK MARK A preacher was addressing his congregation when he held up a large piece of paper. He then took from his pocket a marker pen and made a black dot in the centre of it. Then he held the paper up before the people and asked them what they saw. One person quickly replied, "I ...read more

  • Baskin' Through Life

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Dec 13, 2010
     | 1,984 views

    BASKIN' THROUGH LIFE Two robins were sitting in a tree. One of the robins turned to his buddy and announced that he was hungry. The other robin said that he was hungry too, so they flew down to find some lunch. As they came down, they saw an entire field full of worms. They ate and ate until ...read more