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In Sermon Illustrations: "Foot In Mouth"

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  • A Bus Driver And A Minister Were Standing In Line ...  PRO

    Contributed by David Elvery on Nov 14, 2004
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,760 views

    A bus driver and a minister were standing in line to get into heaven. The bus driver approached the gate and St. Peter said, "Welcome, I understand you were a bus driver. Since I’m in charge of housing, I believe I have found the perfect place for you. See that mansion over the hilltop? It’s yours. ...read more

  • Once, I Took The Kids Up To The Cabin Without ...  PRO

    Contributed by Mike Wilkins on Dec 29, 2004
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,357 views

    Once, I took the kids up to the cabin without Pam. The cabin is a rustic place with no running water, no electricity, but plenty of space for the kids to run and play. On the day that we were to come back home, I got them dressed in the morning, packed up the van, and loaded them in. I took a ...read more

  • Speaking Of Pit Stops, Our Church Secretary, Adra ...  PRO

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Jun 3, 2005
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,239 views

    Speaking of Pit Stops, our church secretary, Adra told me about a “pit stop” her roommate from college was forced to make the other day. She was driving to the airport when a bottle of coke that she had in the back seat exploded! Coke went everywhere! Of course that startled her, and she was ...read more

  • The Average Male Is: 5' 9" Tall And 173 Pounds. ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 12, 2005
     | 1,572 views

    The average male is: 5’ 9” tall and 173 pounds. Is married, 1.8 years older than his wife and would marry her again. Has not completed college. Earns $28,605 per year. Prefers showering to taking a bath. Sends about 7.2 hours a week eating. Does not know his cholesterol count, but it’s 211. Watches ...read more

  • Missionary Robert Porteous And His Wife Were ...  PRO

    Contributed by D. Greg Ebie on Feb 26, 2006
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,039 views

    Missionary Robert Porteous and his wife were taken prisoners by Chinese communist bandits in 1931. This missionary couple was led to a lonely spot on top of a hill where they were to be executed. The Chinese leader said, “This is the place.” and the executioner took a long knife from its holder ...read more

  • An Elderly Couple Passed Away And Found ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jim Kilson on May 6, 2006
    based on 23 ratings
     | 4,437 views

    An elderly couple passed away and found themselves at the pearly gates. Peter was there to welcome them. First he showed them their mansion. The man overwhelmed by the sheer luxury of it all asked, "How much does this place cost per night?" Peter replied, "Sir, this is Heaven, it doesn’t cost ...read more

  • Afterlife

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,875 views

    Afterlife An elderly couple passed away and found themselves at the pearly gates. Peter was there to welcome them. First he showed them their mansion. The man overwhelmed by the sheer luxury of it all asked, "How much does this place cost per night?" Peter replied, "Sir, this is Heaven, it doesn’t ...read more

  • Swindoll Highlights The Fact That The World Is ...

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Dec 12, 2007
     | 991 views

    Swindoll highlights the fact that the world is filled with mysteries beyond our knowledge. 1. And how about the immeasurable spaces above us? Who can unravel the mysterious yet vast movement of the perfectly synchronized planets and stars displaying the most accurate timepiece in existence? Even a ...read more

  • Story Of Little Grace: My Nephew And His Wife ...

    Contributed by Nathan Cooper on Feb 26, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,723 views

    Story of little Grace: My nephew and his wife were horrified to find out that the baby she was carrying was diagnosed with Trifomy13. Trisomy 13, also called Patau syndrome, is a chromosomal condition that is associated with severe mental retardation and certain physical abnormalities. These ...read more

  • If There Is One Emotion That I Have Been Familiar ...

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Jun 3, 2008
     | 1,063 views

    If there is one emotion that I have been familiar with, it is anger. I lived with anger for most of my childhood and teenage years. It became quite comfortable and familiar so much as that most other responses such as disappointment and fear became masked by my anger. Now what I am telling you ...read more

  • Dietrich Bonhoeffer Says In His Book "Life ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 27, 2008
     | 1,856 views

    Dietrich Bonhoeffer says in his book "Life Together": "God has willed that we should seek and find His living Word in the witness of a brother/sister, in the mouth of a man/ woman. Therefore, the Christian needs another Christian who speaks God's Word to him/her. He/she needs him again and again ...read more

  • Perfect Gifts

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 16, 2009
     | 4,892 views

    PERFECT GIFTS Everyone loves to receive gifts at Christmas time. And I am sure that as Christmas approaches, we are wondering what lies behind those wrapped presents. I remember as a child that these four weeks of advent were so difficult. I would go by that tree about 30 million times a day ...read more

  • Imitating ...

    Contributed by Bill Butsko on Mar 13, 2009
     | 5,076 views

    “Imitating Christ” At the close of a Gospel service an intelligent-looking man came to the minister and said, “I do not see any necessity for the Blood of Christ in my salvation. I can be saved without believing in His shed Blood.” “Very well,” said the minister, “how then do you propose to be ...read more

  • John Newton Was A Rough, Dirty Sailor With A Foul ...

    Contributed by Tim White on Jun 19, 2009
     | 1,960 views

    John Newton was a rough, dirty sailor with a foul mouth and an appetite for rotten living. He hated life and life hated him. He was captain of a slave ship. Then someone placed in his hands a copy of Thomas a Kempis’ The Imitation of Christ. He also had the gift of a good mother who told him about ...read more

  • Stripped Pride

    Contributed by John Scott on Aug 16, 2014
     | 4,955 views

    Mahiedine Mekhissi-Benabbad marches — or runs — to the beat of a different drummer. The 29-year-old French athlete was up to his old tricks Thursday. The two-time Olympic silver medalist was on the verge of winning his third straight title in the 3,000-meter steeplechase at the European ...read more

  • A Really Dumb Thief

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 17, 2017
     | 6,413 views

    A REALLY DUMB THIEF Any thief knows that the easiest way to steal gasoline from a car is to siphon it from the other guy’s tank into your own. Stick a rubber hose in his gas tank, suck on the other end of the rubber hose until you get a mouth full of the gas, then spit it out. From then on, the ...read more

  • Blondin Lived From 1824-1897 And Was A Famous ...  PRO

    Contributed by D. Greg Ebie on Oct 4, 2002
    based on 89 ratings
     | 2,656 views

    Blondin lived from 1824-1897 and was a famous French tight-rope walker and acrobat. His greatest fame came in 1859 when he accomplished one of his greatest feats for the first time walking a 1100 foot tight-rope suspended 160 feet above the waters of Niagra Falls. Blondin went on to walk across ...read more

  • In 1174 The Italian Architect Bonnano Pisano ...

    Contributed by Daniel Austin on Mar 28, 2007
     | 1,769 views

    In 1174 the Italian architect Bonnano Pisano began work on what would become his most famous project: A separately standing bell tower for the Cathedral of the city of Pisa. The tower was to be eight-stories and 185-foot-tall tall. There was just one "little" problem: builders quickly discovered ...read more

  • Ravi Zacharias Tells Of Visiting A Used ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,179 views

    Ravi Zacharias tells of visiting a used bookstore. While he was there, wistfully searching through the classics, suddenly a man burst in and demanded in a loud voice, "How much for 128 feet of books?" The owner, having never sold scholarship by the foot, didn’t know exactly how to reply. The ...read more

  • Boat Without Oars

    Contributed by Clark Tanner on Sep 17, 2008
     | 1,978 views

    Boat Without Oars One day I was goofing off with a friend at the lake shore and we found a boat. It was a sixteen foot long metal tub with no identifying marks on it. The thing had apparently come loose from its moorings somewhere around the lake and come up against the eastern shore. So, being ...read more