In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Jokes"

65279;mary Had Grown Up Knowing That She Was ...  PRO

Contributed by Kevin Barron on Jul 3, 2001

Mary had grown up knowing that she was different from the other kids, and she hated it. She was born with a cleft palate and had to bear the jokes and stares of cruel children who teased her non-stop about her misshaped lip, crooked nose, and garbled speech. With all the teasing, ...read more

Tags: Children, Christian Love, Miracles Of Jesus

Denomination: United Methodist

In My Younger, More Foolish Days, There Was A ...

Contributed by Jeremy Morford on Jul 27, 2006

In my younger, more foolish days, there was a game that I liked to play that my wife didn’t like very much. We’d be driving down the highway, when I’d notice that the fuel gage was getting close to empty. My wife’s preference at this point, was for me to stop at the nearest gas station, while I ...read more

Denomination: Holiness

This Past Week I Saw An Interview On Tv With Ted ...

Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Jan 16, 2007

This past week I saw an interview on TV with Ted Turner. Turner is about a good an example as you could find of someone who has gained the whole world. As the founder of CNN and many other enterprises, he’s a billionaire with about as much power and influence as any individual can attain in one ...read more

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Work In God's Kingdom  PRO

Contributed by Owen Bourgaize on Jan 23, 2007

WORK IN GOD’S KINGDOM John Stott tells a joke against his vocation: a clefgyman is the last person in the world to write about work. For, as everybody knows, he has not done an honest day’s work in his life. As the old saying goes, he is ‘six days invisible and one day incomprehensible!’ The ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 10:31

Denomination: Baptist

One Traditional Question Jewish Children Ask ...  PRO

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jan 29, 2007

One traditional question Jewish children ask their father as part of the Passover dinner is "Ma Nishtana ha lei la haze," "Why is this NIGHT different than any other NIGHT." Dad then recounts the story of the Exodus. Comedian George Burns, who was Jewish, tells this joke: During one of my many ...read more

Tags: Lord's Supper

Denomination: Independent/Bible

L.a. Laker Power Guard A.c. Green Is One Example ...  PRO

Contributed by Big Tommy Sirotnak on Apr 25, 2003

L.A. LAKER POWER GUARD A.C. GREEN is one example of a man who will stand for the truth at all costs. I knew A.C. during his rookie season with the Lakers. Like all rookies, he had to endure harassment and practical jokes. As he started to practice one day, a teammate came up to him and told him ...read more

Tags: Sharing Your Faith, Sharing My Testimony

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Pastor Bruce D. Weaver And His Wife Drove In ...  PRO

Contributed by Charles R. Swindoll on Oct 17, 2004

Pastor Bruce D. Weaver and his wife drove in their car to pick up their son from Vacation Bible School. The sky was growing dark and there was a storm watch in effect, but no rain was falling yet. The theme for their upcoming Vacation Bible School had to do with Noah’s ark and the flood, so he ...read more

Tags: Return Of Christ, Evangelism Urgency

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Enormously Gorgeous  PRO

Contributed by Bobby Scobey on May 22, 2007

ENORMOUSLY GORGEOUS My dad says I am ENORMOUSLY GORGEOUS. I wonder if I really am. To be ENORMOUSLY GORGEOUS... Sarah says you need to have beautiful, long, curly hair like she has. I don’t. To be ENORMOUSLY GORGEOUS... Justin says you must have perfectly straight white teeth like he has. I ...read more

Denomination: Pentecostal

The Best Years Of My Life

Contributed by Jim Blevins on May 14, 2009

THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE Man at a seminar heard the following: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife!" The crowd was shocked! Then he continued "My mother!" The crowd laughed and he finished the rest of his speech which held everyone's attention. The young ...read more

Tags: Mothers

Denomination: Independent/Bible

A Preacher Was At A Seminar And Heard The ...

Contributed by Jim Blevins on May 16, 2009

A preacher was at a seminar and heard the following: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man’s wife!" The crowd was shocked! Then he continued "My mother!" The crowd laughed and he finished the rest of his speech which held everyone’s attention . The young preacher liked ...read more

Tags: Preaching

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Beer Commercials And Community

Contributed by Andrew Chan on Jun 28, 2010

BEER COMMERCIALS AND COMMUNITY Beer commercials do not really sell beer. Have you seen how they really sell "living it up with others" or what Christians call "community"? Do they not sell good looking people partying with other good looking people? Even the losers in those commercials all of a ...read more

Tags: Friendship General

Denomination: Evangelical Free

Admirer Or Follower?  PRO

Contributed by Ty Tamasaka on Jul 19, 2011

ADMIRER OR FOLLOWER? Recently I heard that in Scotland, a voluntary survey was given to law enforcement officers of their religious affiliations. That may not sound very interesting, but what caught my attention was that 8 of the officers claimed their religious affiliation to be "Jedi". I ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 14:13-21

Tags: Discipleship

Denomination: Other

For Many Years A Large Silver Star Adorned ...  PRO

Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 6, 2001

ILL. For many years a large silver star adorned the top of the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem. One day back in the 1800’s, the Roman Catholic Church, which shares a part of the building with a Greek Orthodox Church, decided to take down the silver star & replace it with their own star. But ...read more

Tags: Compassion, God Brings Hope, Grace, Healing, Mercy, Peace  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

From The Book: Wacky Laws, Weird Decisions And ...  PRO

Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Jan 25, 2006

From the book: Wacky Laws, Weird Decisions and Strange Statues, Main Street publishers. Divorce Court: a. Marshfield, Wisconsin: When the couple married, he promised to pay her $1 for each kiss as long as they remained married. She sued him for divorce and asked the court for an award of $3,000 in ...read more

Tags: Divorce

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Why Forgive?  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 13, 2002

WHY FORGIVE? Two decades ago (1981) there was an attempt on the life of Pope John Paul. Fortunately, the Pope lived. After he recovered, he shocked the world when he made a visit to Rome’s Rabbibia Prison to see the man who had attempted to assassinate him on Christmas day. Millions watched on ...read more

Tags: Forgiveness For Others

The Republican Methodist Church Began On ...  PRO

Contributed by Charles Salmon on Feb 3, 2003

The Republican Methodist Church began on Christmas Day, 1793 in Manikintown Virginia. It was formed by several Methodist congregations who rebelled against the Methodist Episcopal form of government brought from England. Soon. There were several thousand members and whole congregations had joined ...read more

Tags: Unity

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Mourn For The Innocent

Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Dec 21, 2009

MOURN FOR THE INNOCENT This Christmas we celebrate the birth of the Saviour. Perhaps we should also mourn for the innocent lives that Herod sacrificed in order to avoid a threat to his throne. And we haven’t changed. Perhaps we should also mourn the millions of babies who are aborted each year. We ...read more

Tags: Abortion

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Missing The Obvious!!!

Contributed by Suresh Manoharan on Dec 29, 2015

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of Petrie wine, they retire to their tent for the night. At about 3 AM, Holmes nudges Watson and asks, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?" Watson said, "I see millions of ...read more

Scripture: John 3:16

Tags: Humility, Charity

Denomination: *other

Mort Meyerson, Who Ran Perot Systems From 1992 To ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 16, 2008

Mort Meyerson, who ran Perot Systems from 1992 to 1997, created a stir when he canceled the company’s annual Christmas party. He saw that the event (for 13,000 employees) was costing $360,000 and decided the money could be put to better use. He said, "We’ll take the $360,000 and buy food and ...read more

Tags: Poverty

Questions For God

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 16, 2009

QUESTIONS FOR GOD I came across some post-it notes that contain brief notes that kids wrote to God. Here are a few funny ones… Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed in church. Is that OK? Dear God, I think about you sometimes even when I’m not praying. God, thank you for the baby ...read more

Tags: Children