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In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Jokes"

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  • Give A Birthday Present To Jesus

    Contributed by Richard Goble on Nov 29, 2007
     | 2,874 views

    Give A Birthday Present To Jesus. One year our church celebrated Christmas by giving a birthday present to Jesus. On the first Sunday in December, I asked the congregation to think about what Jesus Christ really meant to them, and to offer a gift on the altar to symbolize their love for Him and ...read more

  • What's In A Name, Anyway?

    Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 16, 2019
     | 3,094 views

    I cannot express how ecstatic I was when someone gave me a coupon for a free donut. Normally, I am not overly excited about “free.” All I had to do was fill out a little survey online and they would send me a code that would guarantee me a free donut. In my “daily diary diet,” I have a whole ...read more

  • When Everything Goes My Way

    Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 7, 2020
     | 1,486 views

    I have had a certain dream many times over the years. Of course, it might lean towards being a nightmare if it does not come true. The dream is that one day in the week; I can have everything go my way. The nightmare part of that dream is that it never tells me which day everything will go my ...read more

  • The Lord Gave Me This Message This Past Tuesday, ...

    Contributed by William Noel on Dec 31, 2006
     | 2,594 views

    The Lord gave me this message this past Tuesday, while at a home school choir concert. · I have to admit, the style of music that they sing is not what I normally listen to. · Also, since Sis. Noel takes the kids to their weekly rehearsals, I didn’t know anyone there. · And to top it off, ...read more

  • And We Were Afraid  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2002
    based on 4 ratings
     | 2,362 views

    AND WE WERE AFRAID Writer and naturalist Anne Dillard tells of a cold Christmas Eve when she, then a young girl, and her family had come home from a late dinner out. Ginger ale and a plate of cookies sat on a special table. Dillard had taken off her winter coat and was warming herself on the ...read more

  • It Was A Chilly December Evening In Downtown ...  PRO

    Contributed by Eric Hickman on Dec 16, 2002
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,174 views

    It was a chilly December evening in downtown Chicago, and about a dozen people from a suburban Christian college were Christmas caroling. A few people stopped to listen. A black man edged closer as they sang. His head nodded in rhythm with the melody. He was probably in his 20s, but his tired and ...read more

  • Unopened Gifts  PRO

    Contributed by A. Todd Coget on May 16, 2003
    based on 8 ratings
     | 6,802 views

    [illustration] Imagine how a parent would feel if on Christmas day when the gifts for their children were handed out, the children just took them, said “Thank you,” and laid them aside with no attempt to open the gifts not even to find out what they were! Imagine how the Lord must feel when he has ...read more

  • I Played Santa This Week At The Nursing Home - ...

    Contributed by Richard Mcnair on Nov 4, 2004
     | 2,287 views

    I played Santa this week at the nursing home - The outfit was fine but the beard was rank, so I had to spray it with something. - I hugged - asked if they were good little boys and girls, passed out gifts and even danced with some of the ladies. I couldn’t tell who really believed in Santa and ...read more

  • A Recent Newsweek Poll Found That "84 Percent Of ...

    Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on Jan 9, 2005
     | 1,491 views

    A recent Newsweek poll found that “84 percent of American adults consider themselves Christians, and 82 percent see Jesus as God or the son of God. Seventy-nine percent say they believe in the virgin birth, and 67 percent think the Christmas story — from the angels’ appearance to the Star of ...read more

  • When Orville And Wilbur Wright Finally Succeeded ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,622 views

    When Orville and Wilbur Wright finally succeeded in flying the first airplane for fifty-nine seconds on December 17, 1903, they rushed a telegram to their sister in Dayton, Ohio, telling of their amazing accomplishment. The telegram read, "First sustained flight today fifty-nine seconds. Hope to be ...read more

  • The Great Secret

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 28, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,583 views

    THE GREAT SECRET As a third-century man was near death, he penned these last words to a friend: "It's a bad world, an incredibly bad world. But I have discovered in the midst of it a quiet and holy people who have learned a great secret. They have found a joy, which is a thousand times better than ...read more

  • A House Is A House Is A House--Until Love Comes ...

    Contributed by Richard Mcnair on Nov 4, 2004
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,386 views

    A house is a house is a house--until love comes through the door, that is. And love intuitively goes around sprinkling that special brand of angel dust that transforms a house into a very special home for very special people: your family. Money, of course, can build a charming house, but only ...read more

  • Most Of Us Are Familiar With This Song – It's The ...

    Contributed by Robert Marsh on Mar 22, 2005
    based on 1 rating
     | 33,567 views

    Most of us are familiar with this song – it’s the theme from the television show Friends. But have you ever caught the lyrics to the song? They read, in part: So no one told you life was gonna be this way Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D.O.A. It’s like you’re always stuck in ...read more

  • Buy Me Out  PRO

    Contributed by Robert Garrett on May 29, 2005
    based on 14 ratings
     | 2,816 views

    “BUY ME OUT” A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," he said. "To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn ...read more

  • Nature Is Mortal. We Shall Outlive Her. When ...

    Contributed by Clark Tanner on Mar 9, 2006
     | 1,318 views

    “Nature is mortal. We shall outlive her. When all the suns and nebulae have passed away, each one of you will still be alive. Nature is only the image; the symbol; but it is the symbol Scripture invites me to use. We are summoned to pass in through Nature, beyond her, into that splendor which ...read more

  • Hear O Israel: Listen Up!

    Contributed by Johnny Wilson on Jun 27, 2009
     | 2,051 views

    HEAR O ISRAEL: LISTEN UP! I served in a volunteer capacity as an unofficial chaplain to the Redondo Beach (California) police force. About seven or eight of us who were ministers would rotate so that we rode entire shifts with some of the officers. Police work is a contrast between tedium and ...read more

  • Hidden Treasure  PRO

    Contributed by Warren Lamb on Jul 8, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 4,566 views

    Hidden Treasure The Smith House in Dahlonega, Georgia, has been sitting on a gold mine for more than a century. During renovation of the landmark hotel back in February of 2006, workers discovered the entrance to a four-foot wide hole under the concrete floor in the main dining room. The hole goes ...read more

  • Max Lucado In His Book 3:16 Notes The Following ...

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Jan 15, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,256 views

    Max Lucado in his book 3:16 notes the following about those living in the dead zone: a. “He, at this very moment, issues invitations by the millions. He whispers through the kindness of a grandparent, shouts through the tempest of a tsunami. Through the funeral he cautions, ‘Life is fragile.’ ...read more

  • A Small Town Had Three Churches: Presbyterian, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Rick Pendleton on Feb 2, 2004
    based on 14 ratings
     | 2,310 views

    A small town had three churches: Presbyterian, Methodist, and Baptist. All three had a serious problem with squirrels in the church. Each church in its own fashion had a meeting to deal with the problem. The Presbyterians decided that it was predestined that squirrels be in the church and that ...read more

  • A True Story: A Retired Couple Was Alarmed By The ...

    Contributed by Christian Cheong on Jan 1, 2006
     | 2,285 views

    A true story: A retired couple was alarmed by the threat of nuclear war so they undertook a serious study of all the inhabited places on the globe. Their goal was to determine where in the world would be the place to be least likely affected by a war, a place of ultimate security. They studied ...read more