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In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Jokes"

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  • The Great Secret

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 28, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,532 views

    THE GREAT SECRET As a third-century man was near death, he penned these last words to a friend: "It's a bad world, an incredibly bad world. But I have discovered in the midst of it a quiet and holy people who have learned a great secret. They have found a joy, which is a thousand times better than ...read more

  • And We Were Afraid  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2002
    based on 4 ratings
     | 2,329 views

    AND WE WERE AFRAID Writer and naturalist Anne Dillard tells of a cold Christmas Eve when she, then a young girl, and her family had come home from a late dinner out. Ginger ale and a plate of cookies sat on a special table. Dillard had taken off her winter coat and was warming herself on the ...read more

  • It Was A Chilly December Evening In Downtown ...  PRO

    Contributed by Eric Hickman on Dec 16, 2002
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,123 views

    It was a chilly December evening in downtown Chicago, and about a dozen people from a suburban Christian college were Christmas caroling. A few people stopped to listen. A black man edged closer as they sang. His head nodded in rhythm with the melody. He was probably in his 20s, but his tired and ...read more

  • A House Is A House Is A House--Until Love Comes ...

    Contributed by Richard Mcnair on Nov 4, 2004
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,314 views

    A house is a house is a house--until love comes through the door, that is. And love intuitively goes around sprinkling that special brand of angel dust that transforms a house into a very special home for very special people: your family. Money, of course, can build a charming house, but only ...read more

  • Most Of Us Are Familiar With This Song – It's The ...

    Contributed by Robert Marsh on Mar 22, 2005
    based on 1 rating
     | 33,209 views

    Most of us are familiar with this song – it’s the theme from the television show Friends. But have you ever caught the lyrics to the song? They read, in part: So no one told you life was gonna be this way Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D.O.A. It’s like you’re always stuck in ...read more

  • Buy Me Out  PRO

    Contributed by Robert Garrett on May 29, 2005
    based on 14 ratings
     | 2,773 views

    “BUY ME OUT” A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," he said. "To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn ...read more

  • Nature Is Mortal. We Shall Outlive Her. When ...

    Contributed by Clark Tanner on Mar 9, 2006
     | 1,270 views

    “Nature is mortal. We shall outlive her. When all the suns and nebulae have passed away, each one of you will still be alive. Nature is only the image; the symbol; but it is the symbol Scripture invites me to use. We are summoned to pass in through Nature, beyond her, into that splendor which ...read more

  • Hidden Treasure  PRO

    Contributed by Warren Lamb on Jul 8, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 4,478 views

    Hidden Treasure The Smith House in Dahlonega, Georgia, has been sitting on a gold mine for more than a century. During renovation of the landmark hotel back in February of 2006, workers discovered the entrance to a four-foot wide hole under the concrete floor in the main dining room. The hole goes ...read more

  • Max Lucado In His Book 3:16 Notes The Following ...

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Jan 15, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,237 views

    Max Lucado in his book 3:16 notes the following about those living in the dead zone: a. “He, at this very moment, issues invitations by the millions. He whispers through the kindness of a grandparent, shouts through the tempest of a tsunami. Through the funeral he cautions, ‘Life is fragile.’ ...read more

  • Hear O Israel: Listen Up!

    Contributed by Johnny Wilson on Jun 27, 2009
     | 1,997 views

    HEAR O ISRAEL: LISTEN UP! I served in a volunteer capacity as an unofficial chaplain to the Redondo Beach (California) police force. About seven or eight of us who were ministers would rotate so that we rode entire shifts with some of the officers. Police work is a contrast between tedium and ...read more

  • A Small Town Had Three Churches: Presbyterian, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Rick Pendleton on Feb 2, 2004
    based on 14 ratings
     | 2,280 views

    A small town had three churches: Presbyterian, Methodist, and Baptist. All three had a serious problem with squirrels in the church. Each church in its own fashion had a meeting to deal with the problem. The Presbyterians decided that it was predestined that squirrels be in the church and that ...read more

  • A True Story: A Retired Couple Was Alarmed By The ...

    Contributed by Christian Cheong on Jan 1, 2006
     | 2,240 views

    A true story: A retired couple was alarmed by the threat of nuclear war so they undertook a serious study of all the inhabited places on the globe. Their goal was to determine where in the world would be the place to be least likely affected by a war, a place of ultimate security. They studied ...read more

  • We Can't Imagine What Our Redeemer Has In Store ...  PRO

    Contributed by Andy Grossman on Dec 4, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,410 views

    We can’t imagine what our Redeemer has in store for us. The Holy Spirit gives us a few clues, but it is like a person blind from birth trying to comprehend color. Imagine if you lived in a world of darkness – then could suddenly see. Imagine if you lived in a world without taste – and suddenly ...read more

  • Our Situation Tends To Be Like A Guy Who Comes ...

    Contributed by Sherm Nichols on Jan 2, 2008
     | 1,241 views

    Our situation tends to be like a guy who comes into the doctor – “Hey, doctor, I’m having these pains. I think I need a prescription.” And the doctor, who has studied the situation and who knows what needs to happen looks at you and says, “It’s a good thing you came in. You need major ...read more

  • The Importance Of Having The Right Desires Is ...

    Contributed by Paul Barreca on Dec 29, 2012
     | 3,513 views

    The importance of having the right desires is illustrated in the Christmas film, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” This film contains a powerful theme of REDEMPTION. Hollywood could not come up with a film like this today! If you remember the story, George’s life is falling apart because he DESIRES ...read more

  • Bad Attitude

    Contributed by David Swanger on Jan 24, 2024
     | 932 views

    A mother and daughter, trying to make the most of the sales before Christmas, spent the day shopping. As they went from store to store in the mall, the mom complained about everything: the crowds, the poor quality of the merchandise, the prices, her sore feet. After the mother experienced a ...read more

  • Escaped ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 28, 2009
     | 3,479 views

    ESCAPED CONFLICTS In the 1980’s a retired couple was alarmed by the threat of nuclear war so they undertook a serious study of all the inhabited places on the globe. Their goal was to determine where in the world would be the least likely place affected by a nuclear war -- a place of ultimate ...read more

  • The Lord Gave Me This Message This Past Tuesday, ...

    Contributed by William Noel on Dec 31, 2006
     | 2,538 views

    The Lord gave me this message this past Tuesday, while at a home school choir concert. · I have to admit, the style of music that they sing is not what I normally listen to. · Also, since Sis. Noel takes the kids to their weekly rehearsals, I didn’t know anyone there. · And to top it off, ...read more

  • Silent Night Carol

    Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Dec 6, 2001
     | 2,351 views

    Silent Night Carol On a cold Christmas Eve in 1818 Father Joseph Franz Mohr (1792-1848) walked the three kilometres from his home - in the Austrian village of Oberndorf bei Salzburg - to visit his friend Franz Xaver Gruber (1787-1863) in the neighboring town of Arnsdorf bei Laufen. Mohr brought ...read more

  • Divorced Life Is Not Being There When Your Little ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2001
    based on 11 ratings
     | 1,626 views

    Divorced life is not being there when your little girl is crying from a bad dream and wants her daddy but you’re not there because that night was not your parenting night. (And you won’t even know she had a bad dream because no one will tell you.) Divorced life is not having any idea what your ...read more