Contributed by Bill Burress on Nov 1, 2010
TOO FAST
There was football team who never won a game, so one day before practice the coach decided to have a talk with them. He told them, "Men, our offense is bad, our defense is horrible, and our special teams are the worst I have ever seen, so today we are going back to the basics and start
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 23, 2010
WHAT WILL THEY SAY?
A minister, a priest and a rabbi die and go to heaven for orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket, and friends, family, and congregants are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say?"
The minister says, "I would like to hear them say that I
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Denomination:
Brethren
based on 1 rating
| 2,182 views
THE JOB'S TOO SMALL
There was a missionary in China whose talents and abilities were so outstanding that one of the American companies tried to hire him. They offered him an attractive job with a salary to match, but he turned it down. He told them that God had sent him to China as a missionary.
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Larry Wilson on Aug 25, 2011
FOCUS ON CHRIST
The healthiest people do not think about their health; the weak induce disease by morbid introspection. If you begin to count your heartbeats, you will disturb the rhythmic action of the heart. If you continually imagine a pain anywhere, you will produce it. And there are some
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Tim Hinrichs on Feb 28, 2012
VETO POWER
Before democracy arrived in Poland, the country was run by Lords and rich landowners – the nobility from all over the country. The senate filled with these noblemen would make decisions for the country but they always had a hard time getting much done – why? Because every member of the
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Aug 15, 2012
based on 1 rating
| 5,114 views
COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
A woman went to court and told the judge she wanted a divorce. "Do you have any grounds?" the judge asked.
"Just two acres," she replied.
"That's not it, lady. I mean, do you have a grudge?"
"No, we park the car in the front of the house."
Frustrated, the judge
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Denomination:
Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Garris Hudson on Feb 13, 2022
When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged.
"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth."
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jun 11, 2007
British sculptor Sir Jacob Epstein was once visited in his studio by the eminent author and fellow Briton, George Bernard Shaw. The visitor noticed a huge block of stone standing in one corner and asked what it was for.
“I don’t know yet. I’m still making plans.”
Shaw was astounded. “You mean you
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 4 ratings
| 5,453 views
As D. L. Moody said, "Trust in yourself, and you are doomed to disappointment; trust in your friends, and they will die and leave you; trust in reputation, and some slanderous tongue may blast it; but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time or eternity." Luther gave a similar
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 4,339 views
Sir Leonard Wood once visited the King of France and the King was so pleased with him he was invited for dinner the next day. Sir Leonard went to the palace and the King meeting him in one of the halls, said, “Why, Sir Leonard, I did not expect to see you. How is it that you are here?” “Did not
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Contributed by Danny Pinksen on Jun 28, 2007
There was a guy who leaned slightly to the left. His friend suggested he go and see a chiropractor and have his legs checked. After years of refusing, he finally went to the chiropractor only discover that one leg was ¾" shorter than his right. A quick bit of adjusting later, he was cured, and both
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Denomination:
Holiness
Contributed by Warner Pidgeon on Sep 1, 2007
Some of you know that when I was in Liverpool in 2002 a lady with learning disabilities asked my name; the name I really disliked as a child. When I said, “Warner” she laughed hysterically. When I then said “Pidgeon” she could barely breathe! After the laughter she said, “I like your name” and I
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Denomination:
Anglican
Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 24, 2007
based on 8 ratings
| 3,532 views
While in seminary, I pastored a small church near Bunn,NC. Within four weeks I conducted funeral services for five of our oldest church members. The experience of dealing with so much death in such a brief period of time caused me a great deal of emotional stress. Following a morning service, one
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Sermon Central