THE MISER
A man calls up this very rich man in the community and says, "Our records shows that you have never given to our charity and we were wondering if you would like to donate?"
The rich man replied, "Does your record show I have a elderly mother who was left penniless when my father died, a disabled brother who is unable to work, or a widowed sister with small children who can barely make ends meet?"
"No, sir, our records don't show those things."
"Well, if I don't give to them, what makes you think I would give to you!"