REPEAT AFTER ME

A pilot was flying a plane-load of passengers to their destination when suddenly the rudder malfunctioned. He radioed the control tower in panic, and shouted, "The RUDDER has malfunctioned! What shall I DO?"

The air traffic controller radioed back, "Keep calm, Captain. Just repeat after me: Wings flap... check. Velocity... check. Altitude check."

The pilot made the appropriate adjustments and the aircraft continued on course.

Not five minutes later, however, the STARBOARD ENGINE stalled. The pilot radioed the control tower and shouted, "The STARBOARD ENGINE has stalled! What shall I DO?"

The air traffic controller radioed back, "Keep calm, Captain. Just repeat after me: Wings flap... check. Velocity... check. Altitude check."

The pilot made the appropriate adjustments and again the aeroplane continued on course.

However, not five minutes later, the pilot radioed the control tower a THIRD time. This time he shouted, "MAYDAY! MAYDAY! BOTH the engines have gone! What shall I DO?"

The air traffic controller radioed back, "Keep calm, Captain. Just repeat after me: 'Our Father... Which art in heaven... Hallowed be Thy name...'"