The Gentlemen’s Guide on What Not to Get Your Wife for Christmas
#10: A Vacuum Cleaner
The only possible way to make this a cool gift would be to give the hands-down coolest vacuum cleaner of all time... which I’m afraid hasn’t been invented yet and probably never will be, considering that there is pretty much only one thing to do with a vacuum... which is vacuuming.
#9: Socks
Nothings says you didn’t try as much as socks.
#8: Sweatpants
Even if she likes them you run the risk of coming across as "Merry Christmas, Fatso!"
#7: Gag Gifts
Gag gifts aren’t funny. To anyone. Especially your wife.
#6: A Magazine subscription to Field and stream, Sports Illustrated or Shooting Today.
Even if she likes sports, you’re like in trouble for this one.
#5: Pets, But Especially a "Grow A Frog" Kit
The only way this makes sense is a white elephant gift for a neighbor you don’t mind losing.
#4: Donations to Charity
Noting like making your sacrificial gift that costs somebody else.
#3: A cleaning kit.
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