If you’ve been watching the Stock Market for the last few months, you know our country is suffering from a crisis of confidence. I hope you’re not letting the news from wall street get you down. I thought it might cheer you up if I shared a stock report that hasn’t made the news: (get out your pens and papers, cause this is a hot stock tip right off the wire: As of the end of the trading day last Friday…
Helium was up.
Feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Knives were up sharply.
Pencils lost a few points.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Diapers remain unchanged.
And the market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar inched up a bit.
Balloon prices were inflated.
And lastly, Fruit of the Loom has reached new bottoms.