So this is for those of you who are football fans. The following football terms that have been applied to the church:
A Benchwarmer- is someone who does not sing, pray, work, or apparently do
anything but sit in the pew.
A Draw Play – is what many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Half-time – is the period between Sunday School and worship when a few people
choose to leave.
Staying in the pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the
Lord’s work.
The two Minute Warning – The point at which you realize that the sermon is
almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
Instant replay – When the preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s
illustrations.
Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation when the
preacher goes into ‘overtime.’ (which of course is after 12:00 noon).
An End Run – is when you get out of church quickly, without speaking to anyone.
A Flex Defense –is the ability to allow absolutely nothing that was said during the
sermon to affect your life.
The Halfback Option – The decision of 50 percent or more of the congregation not
to return for the evening service.
Finally, A Blitz: is the rush that takes place following the closing prayer to beat
the crowd to the local restaurants.