First, Give your kids the luxury of a mistake now and then. You made a few growing up. Acceptance by you and approval from you is critical to their healthy development.
Second, Give your kids room to come to their own convictions and conclusions. Parents are foundational to success. At the same time you must flex when appropriate.
Arguably, no landmark in on the west coast is more famous or readily recognizable than the Golden Gate Bridge. It is an amazing wonder of architectural work. Most would not know that the south pier rests on the San Andreas Fault line. What a contrast between flexibility and strength. In his book The Strong Family, Chuck Swindoll makes an interesting observation about this.
The bridge is built to sway twenty feet at the center of its one-mile suspension span. The secret of its durability is its flexibility that enables this sway, but that is not all. By design, every part of the bridge-its concrete roadway, the steel railings, its cross beams-is inevitably related from one weld joint to the other through the vast cable system to two great tower and two great anchor piers. The towers bear most of the weight, and they are deeply embedded into the rock foundation beneath the sea. In other words, the bridge is totally preoccupied with its foundation. This is the secret: flexibility and foundation (4).
The home offers the bedrock foundation for the teenager. If the young person is to have a successful launch into adulthood there must be a combination of strength and this bridge-like flexibility.
(4) Chuck Swindoll. The Strong Family. Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1991, pg. 152.