Dogs’ Letters to God

Dear God,

Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

Dear God,

How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear God,

When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God,

When my foster mom’s friend comes over to our house, he smells like musk! What’s he been rolling around in?

Dear God,

When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,

Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street.

Dear God,

Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,

The new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug and I have a feeling my family might blame me ’cuz they think I’m jealous of this stupid dog. Since they have no sense of smell, how can I convince them I’m innocent? Does PetsMart sell lie detectors?

Dear God,

Is it true that dogs are not allowed in

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