The well-known author, Madeleine L’Engle,
in her book The Irrational Season
(The Seabury Press, New York, 1977)
writes about her long-time journey of
marriage to actor Hugh Franklin:
"It’s an extraordinary thing to me that Hugh and I
have been married for 29 years. It is also, I believe,
a good marriage, although much of it would not seem to
be so in terms of the kind of success commercials
would hold out to us…
"My love for my husband and his for me is in that
unknown, underwater area of ourselves where our
separations become something new and strange, merge
and penetrate like the drops of water in the sea.
But we do not lose our solitudes, or our particularity,
and we become more than we could alone.
"This is mystery. I cannot explain it. But I have
learned that it makes up for our clashes, our
differences in temperament, our angers, our
withdrawals, our failures to understand.
"No long-term marriage is made easily, and there
have been times when I’ve been so angry or so hurt
that I thought my love would never recover. And
then, in the midst of near despair, something
has happened beneath the surface. A bright little
flashing fish of hope has flicked silver fins
and the water is bright and suddenly I am returned
to a state of love again--till next time.
"[And] I’ve learned that there will always be a
next time, and that I will submerge in darkness,
but that I won’t stay submerged. And each time
something has been learned under the waters;
something has been gained; and a new kind of
love has grown. The best I can ask for is that
this love, which has been built on countless
failures, will continue to grow. I can say no
more than that this is mystery, and gift, and
that somehow or other, through grace, our failures
can be redeemed and blessed."