Consider the following email recently sent to me titled "WORDS WOMEN USE."
"FINE."
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks——this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
"FIVE MINUTES."
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.
"NOTHING."
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine."
"GO AHEAD" (With Raised Eyebrows!).
This is a dare, one that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."
"GO AHEAD" (Normal Eyebrows).
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don’t care." You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five
Minutes" when she cools off.
"LOUD SIGH."
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing."
"SOFT SIGH."
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
"THAT’S OKAY."
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That’s Okay" means that she
wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That’s Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."
"GO AHEAD!"
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
"PLEASE
...