When we got married there were already 2 children. We each had a child from our first marriages. Those relationships ended and it was by God’s grace that we found each other. My wife and I decided we needed to be on the same page when it came to decisions about the kids. I had read about a simple way to practice submission in a marriage when it came to your children. It works because men and women are different!
My wife tended to be more nurturing and wanted to be lenient when it came to discipline. I was more of an authoritarian and wanted the rules followed – period. So, we would discuss the matter and meet somewhere in the middle. If we could agree on a path forward, that was our shared decision. We also had a plan just in case we could not agree on a shared decision. When that happened (just a couple of times in all those years), she submitted to my decision. We agreed to follow that path. If it worked, I did not have the right to tell her, “I told you so.” If it was the wrong decision, she did not have the right to tell me, “I told you so.”
We do the same thing when it comes to decisions about the house or the cars or any big purchase. Now when it comes to small things and regular things – clothing and groceries and stuff – we are both submitted to the budget because we agreed on that about 20 years ago. I have not right to control her and she has no right to control me… that’s not the point. We have found a way that lets us respect one another.